1. Heather P says:

    Yep! I have known all along that I cannot change him. Yet, this past week, I quit trying to “win him back”. Not sure my next steps, but I know God is in control and will help me make the right choices. (Yes, speaking in code.) I have to live my life for God and do what He wants me to do despite what other think or do!

  2. Oh yes I have been on this trail for a long time . Time to get on the Lords trail !!!!!

  3. Joyce Reinholds says:

    Cheri and Friends, only the Holy Spirit can change ANY of us! Never think you can change yourself. Yes, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control but never give YOURSELF credit for your changes. The credit, the “Crown” goes to Jesus! Sometimes you will notice that you have changed and that is a great delight, but just let enough pressure come your way, things as simple as not enough to eat or not enough rest, and sometimes you will think you are back at the beginning. Also NEVER be “sweet” to someone in order to change HIM/HER! That is manipulation! That is selfishness! Yes, we are to win with kindness, since kindness leads to repentance but always the results of your ministry are up to the Lord.

  4. Lisa Blanton says:

    Wow! It’s just like you see inside me! This so resonates with me! I want to be able to release others from my perception of what I need to be me…This will really take a conscious effort…but with the Lord’s help, I can do it! Thank you for your insightful wisdom.

  5. Wow I can relate with so much of this also!!
    Thank you for this post!! So helpful!

  6. This is perfectly “on pointe” to my own self revelation! Thank you! Thank you for the validity! It’s refreshing. Especially since it’s not a “snap your fingers”/”one & done” process. Praise Jesus, he’s faithfully working to complete his good work in us all!

  7. Oh my! This blog came after I had a night of tossing and turning over these exact things. Son, 32, daughter, 30 and married 34 years. Enough, my heart is breaking, I need me back. My nerves are shot and no one is happy. I am not the fix it person. I pray God will lead me and them. Thank you, for your honesty.

  8. Well. You could be a fly on my wall. How well this describes me! Thank you for this eye opening, heart soothing lesson! I love how God will re enforce lessons in different ways. I’ve been doing a workbook about discovering “blocks” in my creative journey. Guess what a biggie was? People pleasing! And this just helps unlock more of the why!

  9. Stacey Kloc says:

    That was the most perfect summary of me and what I need to do to finally find peace. Thank you Cheri!

  10. Ugh…”I don’t need people to change in order to be me. I just need them to NOT be …

    mad at me. I’ll do whatever they need, be whoever they want, to make them happy with me. I can’t be me when I know someone is upset with me.
    disappointed in me. I’ll make it up to them, go above-and-beyond, to make them pleased with me. I can’t be me when I’ve let someone down.
    critical of me. I’ll jump through hoops, juggle knives, and swallow fire to impress them. I can’t be me when I feel like someone disapproves of me.”

    Loved this!
    Thank you❤️

  11. VERY relatable! The struggle is real. Thank you for your honest sharing.

  12. Such a good message, Cheri. I completely relate, and for all the same reasons. My husband and I roll our eyes at each other sometimes and remind ourselves to accept differences and love all the rest 🙂

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