Why is this on my Visa bill? What began as an ordinary catch-up-on-finances afternoon escalates into a crisis. I thought they’d agreed to cover my hotel cost. A frantic search of my saved emails quickly proves my memory correct. This charge is a mistake. I call the hotel to explain that the organization that booked my original reservation should have been charged for my stay, not ... Continue Reading
People-Pleasing
How to Be the Best at Just Being Me
I will no longer fight you for me. It’s 4:53 AM, and I haven’t put my contacts in yet. So I’m squinting hard to read the late-night scribbling on my nightstand note-pad. I will no longer fight you for me. The corners of my eyes sting. What does this even mean? After showering, dressing, and putting in my contacts, I settle into my prayer chair and open to my bookmark in Shaunti Feldhahn’s ... Continue Reading
How to Disappoint the Fault-Finders in Your Life
As a little girl, I had a silly habit. During family gatherings, I’d march from person to person, pointing and declaring, “I love DADDY! And I love MOMMY! And I love JOHNNY! And I love G’ama! And I love G’ampa!” When I finished proclaiming my love for everyone, I’d walk to the center of the room, throw my arms around myself, and make one last announcement. “And most of all, I love ... Continue Reading
How to Know if You’re a Problem-Preventer
“You’re not a problem-solver.” Dumbfounded, I stare at my husband. Finally, the words, “Yes, I am!” eek their way out. “No, you’re not,” comes his rebuttal. I’m too stunned to speak (which is probably a good thing). For the rest of the day, the Holy Spirit is clearly at work in my mind and heart. Because instead of stewing over Daniel’s declaration that I’m “not a problem-solver” ... Continue Reading
Why Disappointing People is the Best Thing You Can Do
"Well goody-goody gumdrops for you!" I'm talking back to the guy in the anti-bullying Facebook video I'm watching (although I should be sleeping). He's just explained the best way to render a bully powerless is "just don't react." Which probably makes sense to a lot of people. But for me, the little word "just" is like flicking a Bic on dry pine needles. "HELLO — SO GLAD THAT’S SO ... Continue Reading