I'm about to post this question to the women in a Facebook group. What message do you most long to hear from someone close to you when you're in the midst of pain, fear, and/or anxiety? And I can hardly wait for them to respond. Finally, I tell myself, I'm going to learn the right way. So I can quit responding all wrong when it matters so much. Scenarios in which I'd totally blown it come ... Continue Reading
When You Love Gift-Giving but He Doesn’t
co-authored by Tonya Kubo & Cheri Gregory “Santa doesn’t visit the adults in our home.” This is my canned response when friends are gushing about “how good Santa” was to them and notice I have nothing to say. It’s not a lie, but also not the whole truth. No Gift Under the Tree From Him for Me The fact is, I’m married to a great guy who is not-so-great at gifts. ... Continue Reading
The One Thing You Need to Know About Perfectionism
I must save my baby! I'm lying in a hospital bed, still seven months pregnant with my second child. Thanks to a team of skilled medical professionals, pre-term labor has stopped. I'm discharged home, with orders to rest. For the next six weeks, I follow my contraction-prevention medication schedule with obsessive perfection, even setting a 2:00 AM alarm to make sure I never miss a dose. I ... Continue Reading
The Best Thing to Say When Someone Makes a Big Mistake
This guy is soooooo annoying! I'm watching an episode of The Profit in which business owner, Erica, faces a big problem: her business is half a million dollars in debt. Her husband, Andre, keeps making comments that annoy me. For two reasons: First, I hate to be on the receiving end of such comments. Second, I know I’ve been on the sending side of such comments. Andre: She’s been ... Continue Reading
How to Overcome Perfectionism with Humor
Maybe she won’t notice. I sneak the odd-shaped object into our Target cart while Kathi’s back is turned. But once we’re at checkout, I can’t conceal such a conspicuous item. “Why on earth …” Kathi begins. “Don’t ask!” I cut her off at the pass. “Why not just …” she suggests. “No way on earth am I asking our hostess if I can borrow one!” I insist. Kathi stares at me and shakes ... Continue Reading
How to Know if You are Helping, Meddling, or Rescuing
I don’t want to meddle. I stare at the text message I’ve just received from my daughter. Then I glance at the calendar, confirming that our family trip to Italy is only a few short weeks away. Our airline tickets are booked, but I haven’t heard anything about our accommodations. Since this trip is our kids’ gift to us, I’ve been trying not to over-step my bounds. In other words, I've ... Continue Reading