1. Wow. Just read the How to Turn Hubby Into a Gift Giver and How to Stop Misunderstandings Before They Happen. Boy, this sure came at the exact time I needed it. Well written and so insightful. I needed these reminders dets today. Thank you.

  2. Wow, amazing! I’m so thankful for this, it’s something that has been a “current “ in my life lately. God has been leading me gently thru the book of James, and I’ve been so convicted. I’m thinking about this, I’ve been able to leave my HSP shell and put others first in a HEALTHY way.
    That’s a brand new thing for me ❤️

  3. Thank you for the gentle reminder that the point is always Jesus (and not necessarily us!) LOL! I love how Jesus is always so gentle with us. May we all look and surrender to Him a little bit more today. 🙂

  4. Thank you so much for your blog. I read this one on just the right day. There is a situation at work that I feel needs addressing therefore I put in a request for a meeting with my supervisor. Through you God is guiding me to a less-about-me approach in helping resolve the misunderstandings. God is good. Thank you for being His hands and feet. Blessings, Kristine

  5. Lisa Blanton says:

    Goodness! This is something I needed to hear. As I look back, I know that I am entirely “mtp” quite often. I never realized that I more often than not make it about me. Thank you for listening to what God wants you to share. You truly are a blessing!

  6. Suzanne M Barbour says:

    This is truly something I needed to read! I hace held back replying to a family member who is only trying to help me – now I’m glad I waited & didn’t reply… I was making it all about me (in my head & nearly in a message)… near miss!! Thank you!

    1. Suzanne M Barbour says:

      I hit post too fast… what is the 4-word question? (Sorry if this is an annoying question… 😶)

  7. Karen Schubert says:

    Thank you. Your honesty opens my own thoughts to be honest. I too often get caught reading life through me-colored glasses. Only later, when it’s too late do I realize it wasn’t about me. I’m going to keep that phrase, “what if it’s not about me,” foremost.

  8. Ane Samsel says:

    This is what I needed to hear! I grew up in a judgemental home where pointing out mistakes was considered good parenting. This left me feeling less then worthless. I can get very defensive if I ever imagine criticism. Which is big time assumption. Never thought about it being selfish, but I can see that now. What if it isn’t about me? That question could really stop me to think before I respond. Thanks!

  9. Connie Boyd says:

    Oh man. Just this morning I was MTP -I am now thinking…thank you for your timely posts and reminders for those of us struggling with our feelings but not wanting to be stuck in them!

  10. Kari-Anne Robinson says:

    God’s timing is amazing.
    My hubby and I share an email account. Yesterday, he asked me, ‘Who is this Cheri?!’ I replied from the next room, ‘A blogger, I follow!’
    He read your message, and came out of his den, to tell me it was JUST what he needed that day.
    Now, I read it this morning, and echo his remarks, and add that it’s a message I need to be reminded of regularly!!
    Thank-you, Cheri.

  11. Great reminder! It is tough to live the way Jesus thinks, but His way gives me freedom.

  12. UH bouy !
    Pronounce how it looks, coz that’s how I feel;)

    Had a massive case of this last month when trying to keep in touch with my estranged family-of-origin…!

    I held back replying a INAY (it’s not about you) when my stepmum somehow wound up taking offence at something messaged to my dad.

    The conversation took all of six maybe seven minutes, but the delayed out of the blue hostile response from her and it’s aftermath surely had emotions all round in a cloud for at least seven days!

    Basically, my dad (80-something) likes to stir up trouble for some twisted sense of humour or God knows what else.. so he highlighted something vague to her trying to insinuate an insult and then she took the bait like a hungry catfish (they always seem to be the fish most caught, don’t they?) and shot out a turse email ‘reply’. Dumbfounded, I scratched my head and raised my eyebrows… and .. eventually ‘let it go’.
    Bear in mind, dear reader, I hadn’t heard from them in months and called to wish him a birthday greeting and catch them up about their three grandchildren they’ve ignored the last two (or is it three? Oh well) years (yep, years.)

    And my children wonder why we rarely see them… I’ve known too well the dys they function in.

    Few minutes effort with this response and their paranoid mind games is all I can 🐻 anyways 😉

    Take it from years of experience with this, some people just don’t want to even See the point that they Miss it on purpose for their own enjoyment ( for lack of psychological training).

    Peace & Blessings,

  13. Wow does this ever resonate, embarrassingly so. I am so often show-offy in this very way but didn’t recognize it as selfishness/defensiveness, Thank you.

  14. Heather Donesky says:

    This brings to mind a mutual acquaintance, who has a position of authority. My feelings about this person are mostly positive, but I think something that is holding them back is that they take everything personally, which is possibly another way to say they make it all about them. I think it sometimes stems from insecurity rather than selfishness, but whatever the motive, it keeps them from reaching their full potential. Case in point: I bought them a book on leadership that I had loved, but I think it was taken as a criticism of their leadership rather than a gift they might enjoy and grow from. MTP is a common reaction when you feel like you are being judged. (The general you) Often, things that are said are not directed at “you” personally, but rather at the organization and the way it is run.

  15. Grace Zama says:

    Thank you! I needed this.
    My mom and I do not have a good honest relationship. In order to have a peaceful visit with her I leave it superficial. She talks about my sisters and everyone else and how she can fix or help.
    I feel jealous cause she never focus on me.
    I guess I’m I being selfish. My visit with her is not about me.
    It’s anout her if that’s all she has to offer I will take it if it means I can visit her and walk out feeling glad I visited instead of feeling offended and guilty.

  16. Thank you Cheri, this was much needed for me right now.

  17. Marcene Saxman says:

    TY Cheri,
    For a perky and to the point message, tempered by your response to the Holy Spirit. Think I might substitute MTP with NAY (not about you) or more appropriately, NAM (not about me). I could use that reminder! Have a great weekend.

  18. Wow! What an awesome post and a great reminder that it’s not always about me.

  19. This is so good!! Thank you!

  20. Cheri, wow—so on point. Thank you for your wisdom. Now I am asking, “What if it isn’t about me….?” Points to consider as I listen to friends and family. What about hearing that whisper of, “just listen and hear their heart?” I so often lately have felt that… I truly want to “Just listen,” and hear my Lord and Savior, or my friends and family. I have to even think about it when someone makes a cutting remark, and remember, “It isn’t about me,” and know that it could be their place right now too. My heart aches sometimes about how many times I have missed an opportunity to make it about others. This past few years have been difficult both personally and professionally, and as I ponder your posting, I can look back at the aching in my soul and realize I sometimes made it too much about me. Although difficult, I could have had less heart ache if I had really taken this to heart. Thank you for the reminder, and I will try so hard to look at each moment differently. Thank you for all your postings.

  21. I love this – I am all about missing the point when someone is simply trying to connect. Perfect. (And I’m so glad you love the bible. It was meant for you all along, I just held onto it for six months.)

  22. Cheri, this is such a great confirmation of what God’s been teaching me about friendships and being a better listener. I often jump to respond in my own defense or to prove that I already know something. My initial motivation is to connect with that person or out of excitement that there is a common interest or experience.

    A friend once told me, “Jenn, just let people have the pleasure of teaching you something. Even if you already know it, you honor them when you listen and accept their information as a gift.”

    What I’ve missed is what the person is trying to share about themselves, and before I know it, I’ve dismissed their gesture or message and put the spotlight on myself. Writing and reading posts like this has taught me to be more mindful of my reader, my audience, and my friendships.

    It is truly selfish; an inward focus when I default to my own feelings first instead of listening better, or tailoring the message for the benefit of others and meeting them in their pain. You just met me in mine! Thank you for sharing your own shortcoming and connecting with this reader. Vulnerability is a huge blessing 🙂

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