1. This was such a great post, Cheri! 🙂

  2. Lisa Blanton says:

    Wow! This is so me…so many times! Thank you so much for writing this series…I am surely being blessed and made stronger by it.

    1. Lisa — Oh, I’m so glad! Thank you for reading and taking the message to heart!

  3. This is so me! I am constantly apologizing for things I don’t need to be apologizing for. And a lot of times, I have these conversations in my head so I can figure out how to make someone happy. Just what I needed to hear today! I am entitled to my opinions and thoughts – I don’t need to be sorry for being me! Thank you so much.

    1. Cecilia — YES, you are! NO, you don’t! I’m considering a 10-day No Unnecessary Apologies Challenge … I’ll keep you posted!

  4. This is really good! Thank you. Can’t wait for the next installment!

  5. Thank you so much! I thought my apologies and “I am so sorries ” were me being so kind and understanding to others. Well, some yes and it is really just wanting to be liked and loved by others. I am finally learning that I do not have apologize for everything and everyone actions (well at work, I do have to – to our customers if we are behind and we had not gotten to them – but there is probably a better way to respond that would let them know we had dropped the ball but will get them taken care of…..work in progress ).

    1. You’re so very welcome, Nancy! Great to see you evaluating when apologies are needed and when they may not be necessary. Good thing God’s the Author of every Work in Progress, eh?

  6. Rachel Thomas says:

    Lol! I have had this exact conversation with myself far to many times! Goodness I needed this today!

  7. Connie Boyd says:

    I am so grateful to have found this site! This just happened to me…or I just did this to myself Friday. In stead of coffee and scone it was a reflexology massage….and it was the most amazing hour and $ I’ve spent in years. Can’t wait to read part 2!

    1. Connie — I’m cheering for your reflexology massage! And Part 2 is up, now. 🙂

    1. I probably spent half an hour revising that line … and now I know it was just for you, Erin! 😉

  8. Joni Lane says:

    Man, I missed Part 1 but will be going back to read- This. IS. SO. Me! I am forever apologizing!!! Once when I worked as the scheduler for a dental office, People with immediate needs would call and I wouldn’t be able to get them in because of the Dr.s schedule, I would apologize. Once, my Dr. heard me one too many times and promptly and emphatically instructed me to say “that’s unfortunate…” instead of apologizing…. I don’t need to be sorry that our schedule didn’t make room for their emergency- he told me a great quote, but I don’t recall it entirely- something about ‘your emergency doesn’t or lack of planning, doesn’t constitute an emergency on our part…’ (NOT even close, but sort of…. ya get the idea?! Lol!) Anyway, Thank you for this…. I literally have apologized my life away and I’m 46!! It’s time to live and enjoy the life that God has left for me! (I am naturally an encourager, so I don’t want to miss those opportunities in the midst. )

    1. Joni — “that’s unfortunate” is such a great re-frame! Thank you for sharing it … I will put it into practice!

  9. Karen Schubert says:

    I think your Dis-appointing Cheri voice hangs out with me everyday–only under a different name. I know those arguments way too well!!
    Here’s a painful thought. If my constant apologizing brings me relief, then it’s really a selfish act for which I want to apologize for. But it only relieves me, myself, and I. Everyone else gets annoyed! I know because I’ve been talking honestly with those closest to me. All this time, I thought I was validating the need for my existence, when in reality, I’m adding more burdens! Now I feel like apologizing for all those years. Where does it ever stop?

    1. Karen — You are so right … when unnecessary apologies make us feel better while annoying others, they fall in the category of “seeming selflessness”. As for the urge to apologize for all the years of apologizing, why not pray-cess that and see how the Holy Spirit leads? You may find God leading you to have a heart-to-heart to express true sorrow and repentance with some people … but not others.

  10. I really needed this right now. My young adult son is this very minute resigning from a job in which under the guise of humor, he and others are constantly ridiculed. Several others have already resigned. I am trying to trust in God’s plan, even though I don’t see it. But sometimes removing yourself from a toxic situation takes a lot of courage. Especially when you can’t predict the future. Trying desperately to believe God’s got this.

    1. Oh Denise, your mama heart must be hurting. You are so right — removing yourself from a toxic situation can be a real battle. I’ll be praying for peace and open doors for you and your son!

  11. So. Much. Yes.

    This was a throughtfully funny way to model self-therapy. Love it!

    1. Jenn — “self-therapy” … I love it! So much better than, “She talks to herself?!?”

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