In “3 Reasons to Stop Being Somebody and Anybody,” we explored why we need to quit getting roped into tasks that Any One could do (but Nobody Else wants to.)
Today, let’s start looking at eight steps that can free us from pleas for help–from “Somebody, Anybody!”–no matter how desperate!
8 Ways to stop being Somebody and Anybody
1. Pray for Discernment
If you hear God calling you to contribute, the rest of these steps are irrelevant. When God asks you to get involved, trust and obey.
“Speak, for your servant is listening.”
1 Samuel 3:10 (NASB)
If you skip this vital first step, you may mistake your own compulsion to seek control for conviction.
Pause. Pray. Be still and know that it’s God calling before answering “yes”!
2. Recognize the Risk of Escapism
Saying “yes” to a new project can feel like a great way to get out of old commitments that have lost their original luster.
This, of course, becomes a never-ending cycle of escaping one old-and-boring project by diving into a momentarily new task which will, all too soon, feel just as old-and-boring as the abandoned one.
Pause. Pray. Honor prior commitments before taking on new ones.
3. Ask for Full Details
How many times have you said “yes” to a small task, only to discover it was merely the tip of a proverbial iceberg? How many times have you watched in horror as your duties multiplied like rabbits, but you had to herd and tend them because, after all, you said, “yes”?
Brainstorm detailed questions about exactly what will be expected of you, when, for how long, what help and resources will be available. This is not the time to let fear of “being a bother” hold you back! Be “a bother” now so you won’t be blindsided by unforeseen expectations later.
Pause. Pray. Withhold your “yes” until you know what they think it means!
4. Analyze the Time and Energy Required
You’ve probably committed to tasks for which you technically had the time, especially if you used a fine-point pencil when adding them to your calendar! (Isn’t it amazing how much you can cram into a 1” x 1” square?)
But what about energy? Did you look to see what energy drainers were already scheduled before and after this new event? Did you intentionally schedule time to re-fuel before, during, and after the new commitment? Not likely. You’ve been trained to focus so much on “time management” that you don’t even think of your greater need: “energy management.”
Pause. Pray. Know what gives you energy and what drains you; factor this in to your final say.
BEWARE: When you start paying attention to your personal energy management needs, you may feel the sudden urge to compare yourself to other women who seem to “do it all” and make it all “look effortless.” You may feel compelled to say “yes” as a way force yourself to learn how to “do it all” and/or prove that you “have what it takes.” More than ever: Pause. Pray.
(Well, I’ve hit 500 words, so we’ll look at #5-8 tomorrow!)
- Which step(s) are you already doing? How’s it working?
- Which step(s) look the hardest? Why?
- Anything else on your heart!
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