How to Have a Holiday-Ready Heart
Here we are already: Day 5 of the “Wrapped in Grace” blog tour – 5 days of 5 friends sharing practical ways to have a less-stressed, more grace-full holiday season … and some great give-aways!
Today’s guest blogger is moi! Be sure to enter the drawing for my book, co-authored with Kathi Lipp: The Cure for the “Perfect” Life, which will automatically enter you into our grand prize drawing for all five of our books + a $100 Visa gift card!
…be content with what you have, because God has said,
‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’.
Settling into my favorite chair, I smile and sigh.
I love my life.
Outside the window, a slight flutter catches my eye: a hummingbird. Delighted, I watch the little guy test the feeder options and settle on a favorite flower.
I have everything I could possibly need.
I look slowly around the living room, basking in abundant evidence of rich blessings: shelving units overflowing with books, an over-stuffed couch covered with soft blankets and seafoam green pillows, two cats snoozing in sunbeams.
If I didn’t know better, I’d envy myself!
I giggle and, trying not to feel guilty for being so happy, begin sorting the day’s mail.
A catalog catches my eye.
I don’t need anything, but it’ll be fun to browse for just a quick sec.
Ten minutes, one Sharpie, and fifteen Post-It Notes later, I am a woman possessed. I have found, at long last, the exact kitchen gadgets I need in order to …
I’m at it again.
I glance around the room. Sure enough: my contentment has been replaced by a gnawing sense of need.
The bookshelves are cheap and ugly. The couch is old and stained. The cats ruin everything.
In my lap, more catalogs offer instant solutions to my home improvement problems, quick fixes for the many defects in my wardrobe, and …
I’m not going down this road again.
Bankruptcy no longer tarnishes my credit record, but its lessons are etched into my heart.
I’m still vulnerable.
A book I used to read to Annemarie and Jonathon when they were little comes to mind: The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies.
I shake my head.
I still go from gratitude to gimmie in a heartbeat.
I get up, toss the catalogs in the recycling bin, and return to my chair.
As I watch the hummingbirds flit to and from the feeder, my contentment gradually makes a comeback.
Preparing Our Hearts for a Contented Christmas
During the holiday season, we are bombarded with a barrage of emails and billboards and sale flyers and TV advertisements that all scream, “You NEED this!”
But what we really need is internal fortitude to resist the external forces ganging up against us.
I’m not suggesting that buying things we need or want is inherently bad. Not by a long shot.
What I am suggesting is that we combat consumerism by intentionally choosing contentment. Here are a few how-to tips, customized for each personality:
1) Expressive
An Expressive’s #1 goal is to have fun. We buy a fabulous new outfit or tickets to a big event, thinking, “This is going to be so much fun!” But as the fun fades (as all fun does), we’re tempted to keep spending money to keep the fun coming.
But the key to fun isn’t funding: it’s learning to trade expectation for anticipation. Rather than getting caught up in how much fun an event is supposed to be (followed by disappointment when it isn’t), we can choose to anticipate and then find the fun in each one.
2) Analytic
This personality’s life goal is to achieve perfection. It’s so easy for her to get an image of a “picture perfect” holiday in her mind and think, “It isn’t truly Thanksgiving/Christmas unless the ______ (house, meal, tree, etc.) turns out just right!”
When perfection becomes our only conduit for contentment, disappointment is guaranteed: for ourselves and those who feel like they’ve let us down. Instead, we can choose to re-define “perfection” as “good enough” (no matter how much of an oxymoron that may seem to be!) and look for perfect moments to truly enjoy.
3) Driving
For Drivers, whose life goal is control, it’s very easy to treat the entire holiday season as one giant list, marching from one event to the next: check, check, check. We had that last night, we have this today, and soon it’ll be tomorrow when we will… The danger in this approach is never being present in the moment.
Detaching contentment from achievement may require taking an eraser to the calendar. We may need to say, “No way. I can’t be fully present for every single one of these. I’m just going to be hopping and skipping and jumping but I’m never going to actually be there.” Slowing down and making space for relationships may feel less productive, but it’s what creates true contentment.
4) Amiable
The Amiable’s life goal is peace. Always. Between all people. This can be tough at the holidays. Put a bunch of people with different personalities together, add some travel, throw in gifts, mix with fatigue, and Peace on Earth is not an easy goal to achieve.
It helps to remind ourselves that sometimes the messiness, chaos, and even conflicts of life are normal. We can focus on being grateful for those who have gathered together, even when they aren’t getting along perfectly. Even when the people around us aren’t exactly peaceful, we can still choose contentment.
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Top 10 Priceless Gifts That Don’t Cost a Dime for Each Personality Series:
Part 1: Top 10 Priceless Gifts that Don’t Cost a Dime — for a Melancholy/Analytic
Part 2: Top 10 Priceless Gifts that Don’t Cost a Dime — for a Phlegmatic/Amiable
Part 3: Top 10 Priceless Gifts that Don’t Cost a Dime — for a Choleric/Driver
Part 4: Top 10 Priceless Gifts that Don’t Cost a Dime — for a Sanguine/Expressive
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Here are a few of my favorite clips from interviewing our Wrapped in Grace Gals:
“One Thing at a Time”
“Just Ask”
“Relief vs. Rest”
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Looking for encouragement to help you recover from that pesky problem of perfectionism? Today’s featured book is The Cure for the Perfect Life. You can enter to win a signed copy by leaving a comment below!
Looking for encouragement to help you recover from that pesky problem of perfectionism? Today’s featured book is PLUS, you’ll also be entered into the grand prize drawing for the Wrapped In Grace gift package: signed copies of all five of our books, a $100 Visa gift card, and a bunch of other fun goodies. All winners will be announced Saturday, October 24th, at http://www.WrappedInGrace.info.
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Kathi and I would love for you to sign up for our 5-Day Braver Living Devotion Email series!
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Check out A Holiday-Ready Heart — a 31-Day Challenge I blogged three years ago.
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Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. She is a frequent presenter at women’s retreats, parent groups, and educational conferences. She has contributed to or coauthored a dozen books, most with Kathi Lipp, including The Cure for the “Perfect” Life: 12 Ways to Stop Trying Harder and Start Living Braver and Clutter Free.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-seven years. She is “Mom” to Annemarie (24) and Jonathon (22), who are also opposite personalities. The Gregory family lives on the central California coast.
Cheri’s passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.” You can visit Cheri’s website and connect with her on Facebook.
I would love to win this book for my sister. She needs it! 🙂
I am just beginning to recognize the bondage to consumerism that keeps me from doing the things that really matter in my life! I am needing to recognize that I am not too busy for things, but they have simply not been a priority. And the consumerism takes time away from making them so!
I loved the application of the personality types to the holiday season! I was a bit surprised to see a bit of myself in each and take note of how I’ve changed over the years. Once upon a time I was a holiday “Driver,” but nowadays much more “Expressive.” This was very helpful–a true “guard your heart” message. Happy holidays!
Wow! This so describes every member of my family! This devo will certainly make the holidays a better event!
Thank you so much.
Great insight-something I will definitely try this special time of year. Thank you!
Needed this…today! Now how to respond when you see yourself in multiple personalities…!
Great reminder to be content with the blessings God has given us, especially at Christmas.
Great blog!
Thanks for the encouragement today. I am also a driver and a perfectionist. I am learning to take it a day at a time and it is okay for the girls to make mess sometimes when they are enjoying themselves and being girls. It is okay if my house is not perfect on my day of rest. I need to focus more on resting in the Lord and take is easy.
Thank you for this important reminder! I’m intentionally going to choose to be content with what I have. God bless you.
I think I have a little of each of these personality traits. I guess that boils down to being a perfectionist ?
Wow! Thanks for your words? What a timely blessing!
Thank you for your stories this week
Love it!! Thanks for reminding me that being present is better than presents!!
Yes, how easy it is to go from thankful to wanting more! This world is always screaming that we need more, bigger, better, faster, etc!
Thank you for the reminder to enjoy what we have right in front of us.
I need this during the holidays and all of my days.
Thank you for sharing practical ideas for each personality type ~ wonderful!
I have a problem with trying to obtain perfection…something I’ll never be able to do! Thank you for the reminder that being content is something the Bible teaches…I just really need to heed this advice this holiday season! I want to be more present and enjoy what matters most: Christ, family, and making sweet memories with loved ones! Thanks so much for this post!
Yes, how easy it is to go from thankful to wanting more! This world is always screaming that we need more, bigger, better, faster, etc!
Thank you for the reminder to enjoy what we have right in front of us.
I need this during the holidays and all of my days.
Thanks so much for the great reminders & tips to help in the season ahead.
Thanks so much for these helpful thoughts. A great reminder that we need to strive for contentment even when we are in the midst of “discontented” people!
My husband was laid off after 22 years on the job. After 3 months of intense searcing, he accepted a job he loves at less pay and fewer benefits. These days when something catches my eye, I ask myself if it is an actual need or a want. Has been working pretty well for me.
Great advice. I am looking forward to having a more relaxing Christmas this year.
A great reminder to live in thankfulness! Thanks!
I loved this series. I appreciated the personality types and how to handle the stresses of the Holidays.
My goal is to be more content with the things I have already been blessed with……rather that be drawn in by the desire for more…..
I am an anilytical driver! My lists will make everything perfect! I am striving this year for contentment and peace!!!
Okay, so you, Cheri and Kathi have been in my apartment, peeping around the corners or you wouldn’t know so much about me and my habits! Wow, what an eye opener! What a terrific post Cheri, thank you. I’m not going to tell what I’m all about but believe me, I need to do some work on me. Thank you and thank you for putting “Wrapped in Grace” together. I understand you had a lot to do with all of this. By the way, this is the second time I’ve tried to post this, something happened to the first one and as far as i could tell, did not post. Thank you again and many Blessings!
I get so caught up in perfect that I become paralyzed. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Great post to read! Interesting, entertaining, and very helpful. Thank you!
As an analytic perfectionist, i struggle with getting depressed at Christmas because everything is not perfect. Thank you for the reminder that ” good enough” really is good enough.
Oh those catalogs… But I love how contentment can return when we ignore that pull from the world
Great post! I felt like I could see myself in a couple of those personality types.
“Combatting consumerism by intentionally choosing contentment”…. this truth is especially needed at this time of year! We can choose contentment for ourselves but there is that added pressure to find the right, material gift for others and please them. Or is that the amiable/analytic in me speaking?
Wow did I need to read this!!!!!! So true that the gimmies can just pop up out of nowhere and be so tempting! Thank you so much for sharing this truth and your awesome tips!!
How interesting matching gifts to the four personalities. Thanks for the suggestions. Really helpful!
Very interesting! No wonder the holidays create conflict! 🙂
I feel like you’re looking into my world. Seeing me as I am. Striving to be
Very interesting reading about various personality types!
very insightful. love the priceless gifts for each personality type
I am definitely an analytical and sure wish I wasn’t!
Very interesting assessment of personalities. Enjoyed the blog.
We are so blessed and yet so often not content with what we have. Thank you for this reminder of keeping things in perspective.
Thanks so much for this — it’s a good reminder to strive to remain content instead of letting the holiday stress and preparations pull me away from what really satisfies my heart!
Thanks for the insightful post!
I am definitely a analytic type. I think it comes from to much commercialism! I have had to let go of perferf and trade it for love- love makes thing’s perfetct.
Thank you for this much needed advice!
This year my husband and I decided we weren’t going to get gifts for each other in hopes that we focus more on the blessings we already have. Now I know once I step foot into a store or pull out the holiday pottery barn catalog I’m going to really have to keep my desire for stuff in check
Yes. I’m 3 of 4.
All but Analytic.
Love this blog post! Your book sounds great! I’d love to win a copy 🙂
Always enjoy reading about the different personality types and applications like these.
These are such good reminders! Thanks so much.
Love this!!!! You blogs are always so encouraging! !! 🙂
Thank you for this reminder. Much needed, especially the customized personality suggestions. I am going to study this and make the effort to apply this for my family.
You ladies have all inspired me to REALLY focus on this now and prepare everyone for the holiday season.
Thank you and I look forward to reading ALL your books really soon.
Cheri, I read your book The Cure for a Perfect Life when it came out and then shared it with my BFF and we then went through it together. Wow, it really helped us both. Thank you – and thank your for today’s post – not what I can get, but what I already have – an awesome Father who loves me so much!
Would love to Win Your Book The Cure for the Perfect Life – plus the other books As Well with Glynnis Whitwer , Amy Carroll , Carey Scott , Kathi Lipp , Cheri Gregory, I So Would Enjoy Reading them all ? Thank You for this Opportunity to Win this Bundle pack Would Be So Blessed ? Thank You
Such an incredible blog. I learned a lot.
It was not hard to see my type–driving ?
What great insights! I pray that God will help me prepare my heart now for the upcoming holiday season. There are a lot of unknowns and uncertainties in my future right now, but either way I want to be able to enjoy God’s presence and His many blessings this season.
You speak to my heart of ups/downs. I see a new book in my future! Thank you
Thanks for all the ideas. I get into trouble when I have devise a “Christmas Wish List” for myself for the family.
Wow! Was surprised at how accurate the personality test turned out!! Spot on.
thanks for the great ideas!
Thank you! This is very insightful! I am going to put this to good use.
Thanks for some awesome perspectives! I’m starting earlier and doing fewer things with more intention this year. It’s gonna be so much easier!
Thank you for your blog post, Cheri!
Thank you for the great advice broken out by “type”. I’m accurately placed in the Driving group, and it describes me to a tee during the holidays. I will try to be more mindful this season to stay in the moment.
I sooooo need this for the upcoming holidays. Thank you for this offer. God bless you!
Thank you for this! I clicked over for a moment and read two of the personality posts. Boy do you have me figured out, at least. Now I need to finish reading so I can give the appropriate (and free!) gifts to the others in my household.
Been there, done that! Still do that! Thank you Cheri for your insight and wisdom!
Driving, driving, driving – all the grandiose plans! Slow down, and savour the precious moments and message of Christmas. Thank you for your post today!
Thank you Cheri for directing me to this page so quickly! I have enjoyed the series and it definitely ended on some good advise. I am looking forward to putting it to good use. Have a wonderful holiday season.
Thank you for contributing to this series – making Christmas joyful and peaceful is something I’m working on!
Kelly
I feel I am an Expressive person- I want to have fun! I am very much into trying to be content in every circumstance, because I just either get a headache or a hot flash when I react wrongly to something. Thanks, Cheri for your words today – God Bless!
Great post for perfectionists as myself to pause now and reflect and ask God’ s help for a doable, blessed, stress less holiday season. Good for any season. Unfortunately I have passed my perfectionistic traits to our son and helping him take those thoughts captive.
Sounds like a very helpful resource!
Such a good reminder to choose contentment!
Thank you for sharing the information about the personality types. Very interesting!
Love the way she describes going from content to discontent in such a short time–so true.
Loved this post! Although, I’m pretty sure I’m a combination of all the personalities you mentioned. 😉
What perfect timing for a great read! I immediately shared with hubby, we are different personality types and resources like this are a wonderful way for us to learn how to support each other better. Thank you!!
Oh my. As a mix of analytic and driving, this time of year is stressful and this blog speaks right to me! Thank you!
I just heard about these personality types, so thanks for the insight into how they are impacted by the holidays. And, thanks for the giveaway.
I think I”m mix between analytic and driving. There’s definitely a list of must do in order to achieve the ideal holiday.
I hope I can do a better job this year at being grateful and more present in the moment; not planning more than I can possibly accomplish. These blogs have been very helpful pointing me in that direction – thank you!
Great post…. It is so hard for me to be content regarding family relationships (more than stuff). Thank you for the reminder of what is important…..
I love the holidays and I “hate” the holidays! I have created so many traditions for my family and friends that I am exhausted through the whole month of December. I want to spend less time doing and more time being. Being present, being grateful, being engaged, being thoughtful and aware of real needs around me.
I look forward to reading more!
I have never seen my personality type described so accurately! (Analytic) It fits me perfectly. I love, love, loved this post and will be printing it out to regularly read it. I can’t wait to read your book! Thank you! I loved this entire week of timely posts!
This is very fascinating!! Thank you so much for sharing about the personalities!! This entire series is so wonderful. Bless you!!
YES! Catalogs are evil! 🙂 I don’t even look at the Sunday sales papers anymore because it’s so easy to find things that I never even knew that I needed! Thanks for the reminders!
Thank you for the reminder that there is no such thing as perfect, except our Savior. I have enjoyed the Wrapped in Grace series, and am using these lessons to prepare my heart and mind for a content Christmas, with a focus on Jesus, not perfection!
Sounds like a book I would love to read.
You described me perfectly. I am so content with my life until I step into a store or open a catalog. Would love to win your book!
I have so enjoyed these tips. I am an amiable driver for sure and appreciate the ways I need to be aware before the holiday starts. I need to be present. Thank you.
It was very interesting to see how a persons personality specifically corresponds with how we view these things. Look forward to learning more on your blog and in your book.
The quick shift from contentment to gimme hits me too. Thank you for your insights.
Thanks for writing a book that so many of us can relate to! Can’t believe the holidays are almost here- needing some grounding this year. Blessings to you. B:)
I think I have exhibited traits of each personality above at one point or another in my life. The Analytic is the one I relate to most often. Thank you for sharing-it will truly assist with making the holidays more enjoyable from now on:-) Looking forward to reading your book.
Oh my goodness!!!!!! This is me. You are speaking directly to me! What an experience this morning as I read this, Day 5! First I went to subscribe to your blog, next I will go find you on FB, and I will read your posts and pages. I live this dream of “perfection” everyday and especially the holidays. I think I will learn a great deal from you and am so excited to “find” you this morning. Made my day! Now I will go drink my coffee and watch the sun come up and thank God for another day. God bless you and give you peace.
Ditto! This is EXACTLY the same thing that I was thinking and did! I definitely want to read this book!
Contentment? Amiable? Full of grace? Is this attainable? Enjoyed your blog and looking forward to more to get our lives back in focus. Thank you. God bless.
Thanks for these reminders. I have an only child and it’s so easy to want to get her everything and do everything to have a perfect Christmas (and her birthday is 5 days prior). I think I’m trying to make up for having no siblings. Don’t get me wrong she’s not a “spoiled brat” in that she expects it, honestly she prefers to hang at home and just be together, but I always feel like I have to fill every minute with plans and every cute thing I see that she would like.
I can relate to both the Expressive and the Analytic. Thank-you for sharing your wisdom!
Very interesting to read about the different personalities and how the holidays look for each one. I see myself in all of them, but mostly in the Expressive.
I loved this encouragement today! I would enjoy reading your book and being more encouraged through the holidays and daily life. Thank you!
This post really speaks to me. I received three catalogs yesterday and spent too much time browsing through looking for what would make my home better, even though I know I don’t need any of these additional things. Thank you.
Food for thought; thanks.
I can so relate to being both analytical and a driver. I want everything to be “perfect” and I have the “perfect” way to make it happen all we have to do is follow my lists. This devotion was very eye opening. I hope this Thanksgiving and Christmas I will take more time to just be in the presence of my family and friends. Take the time to enjoy their company and stop worrying about by to do list. I also want to understand that the to do list is just a tool not something I have to live by. Thank you for your ministry. I hope I have a chance to win your book.
Oh I can so relate to being a driver. Would love to read your book.
I” happened” on this site today. I do recognize the driver in me, did not realize what that habit takes away from my life. Love what I am reading here, will try the reader……..
What a great reminder: yes, I choose contentment. Not only at the holidays, but throughout the year.
I love the different approaches by personality type! So helpful!
Thanks for the post. My goal is to be more grateful this holiday season. I appreciate all the posts this week stearing me in the right direction.