How I Went from Miserable Wife to Happy Wife
On Friday, my first blog post as a contributor for The Happy Wives Club went live.
I originally titled it “How I Solved My Husband’s Problems.”
I meant it to be a light, humorously self-deprecating look at how immature I was when we first got married. And how glad I am to have grown up a bit over the last twenty-five years!
I did not mean to hit any nerves or step on any toes.
Somehow, I managed to do both!
A number of concerns soon showed up in the comments:
- …how are you suggesting to be a happy wife when there are larger control/anger issues???
- This seems strange…. I couldn’t put up with a man blaming me for spices. If he likes them a certain way then he can do it himself!
- …it’s a dangerous line between accepting normal differences and taking responsibility for another’s bad behaviors.
- Horrible advice
- …the [example] about the spices…gave me the heebie jeebies. That screams control.
- I get so sick of reading this kind of #*@&!!!!! … Trust me you are not the first woman that I have read this kind of garbage from.
- Also, with the spices example…Are they not labeled? Are his eyeballs missing?
- If one spouse refuses to take personal responsibility, that doesn’t mean the other should take it on for them…
(My cayenne pepper example clearly pushed some “hot buttons”!)
I posted a comment with some background to provide additional context for the blog post. And then I responded to as many of the concerns as I could.
I enjoyed reading the post and totally agree – life is so much better when we realize the only true change we can make in our marriage is within ourselves.
I thought it was a light, humorous post that some commentators took a little to seriously. 🙂
I think everyone carries scars, and while we should be sensitive to other’s reactions, we can’t allow fear of those reactions to prevent us from sharing the precious lessons we have learned – good job!
“People got issues…..” (Said in a knowing, diva voice… ). Marriage takes work and dealing with each other’s personality quirks. I like to keep my spices pretty much organized alphabetically too! Lol. I heard some great advice to my daughter and future son-in-law at their engagement party a couple of weeks ago. The man told them, “Take turns being mad and frustrated.” Basically, there has to be give and take. The sooner we learn this, the stronger and happier our relationships will be.