The Best Thing to Do After You’ve Made a Big Mistake
I wonder what happens if I click this little button?
It’s five short minutes before Kathi and I walk on stage to share our “Getting Out of Overwhelmed” message with over a hundred MOPS moms.
Everything is ready.
Our notes are on our podiums.
Props are on a table.
The PowerPoint presentation is up on the big screen.
Until I capriciously reach out to touch my computer’s trackpad.
And with one tiny tap, I discover that the answer to
I wonder what happens if I click this little button?
is
Oh no! Where did our PowerPoint presentation go?
Oh No! I Made a Mistake!
Like a ping pong tournament observer, I glance wildly back and forth between my laptop and the big screen.
This can not be happening!
I search for an “UNDO” button.
None.
I quit and relaunch PowerPoint.
No help.
I reboot my entire computer.
The big screen is still blank.
I’ve burned up our five minutes. We’re supposed to start.
NOW.
Kathi and I confer.
Should we try to muddle through without the PowerPoint? We are professional communicators — can’t we just improvise?But we know from experience that these slides really drive our message home.
As Jeanine, the MOPS coordinator, joins us, I feel my face flush with shame.
This is all my fault.
“What’s the problem?” she asks.
If I hadn’t pushed that stupid little button, we’d be on stage right now.
“Our PowerPoint presentation has disappeared from the big screen, and I don’t know how to bring it back,” I admit.
“Can you move your PowerPoint file to my laptop?” she asks.
I grab a thumb drive from my purse, copy the file, and hand it to Jeanine, praying the entire time.
That the file will work, yes. But mostly for the Holy Spirit to calm me even if it doesn’t.
The file works.
After ten minutes (that felt like eternity), we step on stage.
After I Made a Mistake
Kathi begins with a hilarious story that brings down the house.
I feel myself splitting in two.
Speaker Cheri stands confidently on stage, watching the women laugh, waiting for her turn to speak.
Shame-filled Cheri wants to slink down the stairs, make a run for the women’s restroom, so she can hide in a stall and cry.
- This is all my fault.
- If I hadn’t pushed that stupid little button, we would have started right on time instead of five minutes late.
Kathi finishes the introduction, which signals that it’s Speaker Cheri’s turn.
While she presents her portion of the message, Shame-filled Cheri wallows in self-recrimination.
- Of all the stupid, unprofessional things to do …
- She will never ever invite me back …
- In fact, she’ll probably warn other event coordinators away from me …
Even as Speaker Cheri invites women from the audience to be part of an on-stage demonstration, Shame-filled Cheri composes elaborate apologies to offer the coordinator.
- If I’d had the slightest idea that pushing that stupid little button would …
- I can not believe that I pushed that stupid little button …
- I am so SO so SO so sorry that I pushed that stupid little button …
But then, as Speaker Cheri steps back so Kathi can wrap up the message, Shame-filled Cheri has an epiphany:
- I’m making this all about me.
- But this doesn’t need to be about me.
- I want to acknowledge my mistake without making this all about me.
And I know exactly what to do.
The Best Thing to Do
“Jeanine,” I say once the meeting is over. “Thank you so much. You absolutely saved the day.”
She smiles and credits God for the quick-thinking that got us on stage with our PowerPoint on the big screen.
“I have figured out what I did wrong, how to fix it, and how to never ever do it again,” I assure her.
We all laugh.
“But seriously,” I reiterate. “Thank you.”
And we moved on.
The On-Going Miracle
All of us moved on.
Even me, which is the real miracle, here.
I didn’t even feel—let alone fight—the need to grovel, the compulsion to over-apologize, or the urge to run and hide.
The lesson I learned that day is becoming an all-new way of life.
The best thing you can do after making a big mistake:
Instead of making it all about you, look for someone to thank.
Wow!
Yes. Yes. Yes. A million time Yes!!!
I screw up all the time, it’s my never-ending, infernal curiosity and it gets me in more trouble. But when I take my eyes off my own self and put them on someone else, life change happens for everyone!
This is very helpful, thank you.
Thank you Cheri for sharing! Such amazing timing that you share your newly found Godly wisdom to turn from shame and thank others.
I heard last week on Klove the darling female DJ shared how she read a Twitter feed about not apologizing yet turning it into an opportunity to thank others.
Example: Showing up 5 or 20 minutes late and instead of profusely apologizing like many of us normally fall back on as our go to words of shame…to instead find a way to praise the people around us whom we affect.
She would say, “Thank you for waiting for me!” Or if/when we do something less than brilliant or smart to say, “Thank you for loving me!” 😁😜😌
God bless you and your beautiful timely words and love for our Lord:)
This advice is a game-changing! Thank you, Cheri!
I’m a member of that MOMs group and can promise none of noticed you were late that day. Kick the shame Cheri to the curb because speaker Cheri ROCKS and is a DELIGHTFUL Woman. 😘
Cheri,
This is just SO excellent. And as I sat here, reading it, and emphatically feeling every ounce of anxiety that was coursing thorough your veins, I realized that I have experiences similar to that from YEARS ago that I still replay in my head.
Wow, Elsa – “let it gooooo” already. To my shame, I realized that you are spot-on. Years later I am still making it all about me.
Thanks for knocking on my head a bit.
Hello kindred….:) I could have replaced myself in your story many-o-times….thank you so much for sharing and letting us know we’re not alone! And for this ministry. It comes in the Lord’s perfect timing in my life.
So good! Yes, it’s so easy to make my mistakes about me because all my insecurities rise to the surface. Thanking someone for their help when I know I’ve messed up is humbling and it honors them outwardly instead of turning attention to my own penance. Love this picture, thank you Cheri.
Once again a great message to deal with emotional overload! It’s so good to know we don’t carry everything alone- and especially, our mistakes.
Thanks for bring such a great communicator and addressing subjects common to everyday life.
Love this. So very true about how shame operates. So grateful God helps us overcome shame. <3