How God Speaks to Me Through You About My Daughter’s Tattoos
When I launched this “Tattuesday” series, my original plan was to blog weekly.
As in Every. Single. Tuesday.
As Annemarie would say: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
“Life” quickly prevented me from doing so.
But that’s turned out to be a good thing.
Because as comments came pouring in to my first post, I felt the temptation to turn this aspect of my life–and my daughter’s life–into a reality show.
- What “growth” should I be ready to report this week?
- If we videotape a face-to-face conversation between the two of us, that should be good for 6-8 weeks of material!
- Wonder how many “shares” I’ll get if Annemarie guest blogs?
<Sigh>
Travel, illness, and a long-anticipated book launch have limited me to about a post a month. In retrospect, I see that they’ve also protected me. I’m finding that I need a buffer of a month (or more) before blogging about “the latest.”
How God Speaks to Me Through You
While speaking at a retreat in October, I showed The PERFECT(ionism) Crime, a monologue I wrote and performed three years ago, in which I call out Perfectionism for the crimes he’s committed against the women in my family.
What’s making me brave enough to finally stand up to Perfectionism is the discovery that my artist daughter’s sketch pad is full of blank pages: terrifying evidence that she, too, is starting to believe Perfectionism’s oppressive rules: “Nothing’s worse than making mistakes” and “Nothing’s worse than failure.”
After my message, an attendee handed me a note that has changed forever how I view my daughter’s tattoos:
(Can’t see this 1-minute video clip? Click here to view it directly on YouTube!)
It’s been an amazing journey thus far.
And it’s far from over!
I still have so much to share that I’ve learned from all of you. You’ve left or sent 20,000+ words of comments, Facebook messages, and Emails that have blessed me — I’d say “beyond words,” but you know me better than that by now.
I’m still not where I want to be.
But I’m no longer stuck.
I’m on my way to where God plans to take me.
And He’s leading me through you.
Wow, that note is absolutely beautiful and a great way of looking at your daughters tattoos. I wish people were more understanding like you and the one who wrote this note.
I have learned both my parents stances on tattoos recently. I asked my dad if he would freak out, get mad or treat me differently and he said no. He personally just doesn’t like tattoos and that’s totally ok. My mom on the other hand is also a Christian and quite conservative. Not hardcore conservative, but conservative nonetheless. She’s the sweetest, strongest woman I’ve ever known and she’s my inspiration to do the same for my future children as a mother. However, I’m nervous about how she will react. I know she doesn’t particularly like such things like my dad, but it would break my heart if she said she were upset with me or disappointed in me because that’s not my intention for getting the tattoos at all. If you’ve read my other comments scattered around your tattuesday (love that name by the way) posts, you now know why.
For years, I’ve struggled with body image issues to the point where I rejected myself and tried to mold myself into someone I’m not; all for the sake of two of the evil P’s that come to mind: Perfectionsim and People-Pleasing. I lived to please others and I know that that is no way to live. You’ll never truly be happy. I put myself through internal hell and eventually lost sight of who I was. I couldn’t even recognize myself in the mirror because my vision got so distorted. Then finally after those issues calmed down when I was 17, I caught a glimpse of who I really was and finally was able to start loving myself again. Its the best feeling in the world and I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone.
I’m now in a way better headspace than I was before. When I do eventually get these tattoos if I decide to, I want my parents to know that me doing so isn’t out of ‘rebellion’ or any sort of mean intention. Nor does it mean that they’ve failed at parenting me.
Whenever I get to have a consultation with an artist and they sketch out the design of my very first tattoo, I will show them the drawing before I go back to the studio to officially get it done because I feel like hiding it wouldn’t make sense. I will do the same with the other tattoos I will get so they’re at least in the know and not shut out. It is my decision ultimately and both my parents have said anything you do at 18 and beyond is my decision. However I do still want to keep them included so they won’t feel like they don’t matter anymore just because I’m now deemed as an adult legally.
I’m so glad you’re writing and sharing your experience with us! Annemarie certainly seems like a remarkable young women, tattoos or not and the truly doesn’t fall far from the tree. Its obvious you care about her deeply and want the best for her. ❤ These blog posts are proof of your genuine efforts of change.
My favorite gift to give is time. Inviting a friend or some family over to my house to talk and laugh is the best way to spend a day.
I think the most important gift to give is the gift of yourself – your time, your company, your talents, your energy, your knowledge. Nothing beats that.
Well, that’s tough. Maybe coupon book for things like playing games, going on a hike, ice cream treat, movie night with popcorn, donut date, relaxing night with no kid responsibilities, bake cookies together, etc.
The first thing I thought of was the gift of time. There are many elderly people that would love for you to just stop and listen to them. Maybe they haven’t had visitors in a long time. Maybe they don’t have family in the area. I even wonder if they get any love from the people around them – like hugs or touches of the hand or pats on the back. I saw a lot of lonely little people looking back at me when I would go visit my grandmother in the nursing home. It is really heartbreaking. We would smile, speak, chat and bring things that could be shared amongst the residents. How much just a little bit of time means to those that never get any time from anyone else, whether it be an elderly parent, grandparent, friend, child, sibling, acquaintance, neighbor or stranger. You can make their day! If you can’t spend your time, then at least try to give them a smile, a nod, a pat, a handshake, a song…something to let them know that you care.
Blessings to all,
KK
i was thinkng spending time with others also . Also thought about going out to eat but technically that is spending money
One of my favorite gifts is to make a meal for someone. Its usually things I have around the house and doesnt cost anything to make. My husband is out of work now because he injured himself at work and had to have knee surgery we have had people bring us meals and its a priceless gift!!!
I agree with Maurie. It’s fun to explore the great things in our area. although technically it does cost money for gas to drive there.
My husband is very difficult to buy for as he’s very NON-materialistic. Never wants or needs anything. That’s really nice, but really hard to shop for! He LOVES to go fishing, which does not top my son’s list. But the last time he needed a gift for his father, he sat down and made a drawing of the two of them fishing together and offered to go along with him on one of his weekend trips. Both had a great time and all it cost my son was his time 🙂 The only “space” it took up is the space in one’s heart/head for memories 🙂