Betrayed by a Kiss
Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Come near so I can touch you, my son, to know whether you really are my son Esau or not.”
Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau; so he proceeded to bless him.
“Are you really my son Esau?” he asked.
“I am,” he replied.
Then he said, “My son, bring me some of your game to eat, so that I may give you my blessing.”
Jacob brought it to him and he ate; and he brought some wine and he drank. Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come here, my son, and kiss me.”
So [Jacob] went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said,
“Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed….”
Genesis 27:21-27
Why does Isaac doubt whether it’s really Esau speaking to him?
If he’d spent years playing the “Guess Which Twin I Am!” game, I’d understand.
But Esau and Jacob aren’t identical twins. They’ve looked and acted different since birth.
It feels to me like Isaac is used to being suspicious. Used to being lied to. Used being on guard against his own family members.
How sad for mistrust, untruth, and hypervigilance to become so “normal”.
Denied 3 Times, Then Betrayed by a Kiss
In this scene, we see Isaac is denied the truth three times.
- First, when he touches Jacob and feels the hairy arms of Esau.
- Second, when he asks Jacob, “Are you really my son Esau?” and Jacob says, “I am.”
- And third, when he smells Jacob and recognizes the scent of Esau.
Each of these denials is, once again, an abuse of private knowledge. Jacob, acting under Rebekah’s orders, pulls of a multi-sensory deception scheme that only a wife and a son could execute.
Only his wife and sons know such intimate information about Isaac. And suspicious though he may be, he never imagines that these close family members will form an alliance against him.
And final betrayal comes thru an act of intimacy: a kiss.
Through an act meant to communicate vulnerability and connection, Jacob commits the ultimate violation of his father’s trust.
The Destruction of a Family
Once again, I have the urge to say, “Well at least I never do anything like any of this!”
But then I think about all the times we walk on eggshells around each other. Silently suspect each other’s motives. Lie by omission.
I ask myself, Do we use closeness–the times we’re close enough to touch and even smell each other–to be truly vulnerable and build connections? Or do we rush past such opportunities, denying the truth of how much we need each other?
And I realize how often I’ve sealed broken trust with a peck of resignation rather than renewing trust with a kiss of repentance.
The Salvation of a Family
This passage from Genesis 27 reminds me of what happened to Christ: He was denied three times. He was betrayed by a kiss.
And yet instead of putting up his guard, he gave the ultimate sacrifice. He modeled something inescapable at the heart of love:
suffering.
All the eggshell walking and hypervigilant pretending I’ve done with my family over the past decades has kept me from loving them and experiencing their love in return.
Now, as I am living with greater honesty, vulnerability, and trust, I find myself learning the one thing I’ve spent my life avoiding: suffering
Suffering with and suffering for.
Rebekah and Jacob totally missed the integral relationship between love and suffering, and their entire family paid a heavy price for their attempts to escape it.
I’m grateful for the chance to learn this lesson before it’s too late.
Try This Today:
As you’re building your “God Will Provide” family time line, include a situation that involved suffering and/or sacrifice.
Your Turn!
What have you learned about sacrifice by suffering along with someone you love?
I always enjoy reading your stuff,and lately it’s like everything you write is spot on for me. Thank you so much for making me feel NOT so alone! 🙂
Thank you, Cherie, for your profound posts. I want to share a time when I thought I was learning about sacrificing but I was very wrong. For too many days and nights to easily count I was with my son at the Children’s Hospital while he received cancer and radiation treatments. He was sick, He missed school. He was rarely healthy enough to be with friends. Surely this must be what suffering looks like. Wrong. My then 10 year-old son saw it as an opportunity. He shared his love of Christ every time a nurse and doctor came in and saw the statue of Jesus he lovingly carried to the hospital. He was not worried about possible mortality that comes with stage 4 cancer. In my son, Alex’s words – God’s not done with me yet. My son is now 15. What I thought was a time of suffering for him has made him stronger – not a cliche, for real. He is mature for his age, he is kind and gentle, He is especially close to some of the elderly who have cancer in our neighborhood often helping to shovel snow or do yard work simply because he can. I have learned a lot about what I thought was suffering. When we keep a strong faith, the suffering can really become opportunity!
I NEED this book! I have so many times tried to make my husband meet my emotional needs, not God, so, I think this is a HUGE problem within our marriage! Thank you, God Bless.
My hubby and I are going through financial issues and he’s going through depression. The main things I feel the Lord teaching me through all this is trust and patience. I have (still am) suffering to put my selfishness aside to help my husband. I am not a trusting person and now I’ve started to try harder to trust God will take care of things and is already taking care of things according to His will even when it doesn’t look how I think it should. I also know God is teaching me patience because that’s another area of difficulty for me. I have had to be patient with my wonderful man and not be bitter for him being depressed and wanting to just snap sometimes and say “get over it” to him.
Shellie,
Perhaps you and I are twins separated at birth! 🙂 I am going through similar things – with my husband as well as the difficulty of being patient. I will pray for you to have patience and wisdom my friend!
Loved the parallels. I thought this info would be fun to add to this part of the story. What is interesting about Genesis 25 is that Jacob and Esau were identical twins because Jacob came out holding Esau’s heel. This means there was only one sac and they were monozygotic (commonly called identical). This was foreshadowed by Rebekah feeling more fighting than typical. What they did have was twin twin transfusion syndrome. This is were, when there is only one placenta (there is always only one placenta when there is only one sac), the blood flow is unevenly split between the infants. One gets too much blood and looks red, the other too little and looks pale. It is medically interesting that it is almost always the bigger red twin that has the most consequence. These children often have mini strokes before they are born and their IQ suffers more than the pale twin. The consequence stated here was that Jacob also looked less hairy (less mature). He probably remained shorter. This presentation suggests two things. One, there may have been a reason Jacob could easily cheat his brother out of his birthright. Second, it may be the reason Rebekah wanted Jacob to be the heir. (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/64/3/309)
Is this why Isaac did not trust hearing Jacob’s voice? Unlike parents of most siblings, I occasionally have difficulty telling my identical twins voices apart. This may explain why the almost blind Isaac trusted his hands over his hearing.
Interestingly, my twins have always seen Esau as the hero of this rivalry when in Genesis 33 he kisses his brother and dismisses revenge. “Of course he kisses him, Mom. They are twins!’
I just want to say Thank You for taking time out of your day to write about how God is working in you and for you. I am trying to reboot my spiritual life with the help of a friend. Reading blog posts like yours are helping me a little bit everyday.
This was a great post. It is always great when someone points out a new foreshadowing of Christ’s last days. I never realized that Jacob denied Isaac three times. It amazes me how the bible just lays everything out. As for the question of the day. About 6 years ago we moved from Chicago to New York state to watch over my in-laws. What we never realized is that my father-in-law had cancer for years and would die less than 2 years later. My husband, with my help, took care of all of his needs and he died in our house. It was a true sacrifice that my husband made. He could not work much and we lost alot of money in the stock market crash that happend while he was taking care of his father. We became alot closer as a couple and closer to God. Now we are taking care of his mother who has dementia along with our four children. God really opens doors when you give into his plans. Thank you so much for your post!
Thought provoking as always. The giveaway book looks like an awesome Bible Study book. I’m currently looking for our next Bible Study and this has made the list of possibilities.