How to Deal With Your Parents’ Clutter
How do we deal with other people’s clutter? What if it’s your parents’ clutter? And what if you are living in their house…… for free?
One listener asked my co-author Kathi Lipp, author of Clutter Free, for advice on a very overwhelming situation related to someone else’s clutter, and she invited me to the Clutter Free Academy Podcast to weigh in.
Here’s the listener’s letter:
I’ve got a unique case I’d like to bring up to you (Kathi, and/or whoever else reads this.)
A year ago my husband applied for a job in our hometown. It was an hour away from where we were living. We talked with my parents to see if we could possibly live with them while our house sold (just in case he got the job.) He got the job…and we moved. My parents felt this was the jumpstart they needed to finally move to the lake. So, really we got to live in their house while ours was for sale.
Problem was/is: Their new place is WAAAAAY too small for all their stuff. And they’re on the verge of hoarders. I say that loosely… They just have a lot of junk and aren’t organized or clean. I was mortified when a phone company guy came today to fix the internet and had to see the clutter and mess. (We are able to close the doors on their mess as we’ve contained it to rooms that have become unusable to us.)
What can I do? Where do I start? How can I motivate them?
Feel free to use my circumstances in a podcast…. I’m at my wits end and it’s frustrating my husband. It adds stress to myself, my kids, and my husband. Yet, they’re letting us stay here rent free while our house is now being rented (we couldn’t sell it.)
Utterly overwhelmed,
Trapped by Clutter
Turns out, there is a lot to consider when facing a situation like this.
- What questions do you ask yourself?
- What questions do you ask your parents?
In the end, there are important conversations we all need to have in order to understand the stories behind our parents’ treasures.
Head on over to Kathi’s blog to listen … and then share your insights on this tough topic!
Episode #191-Overwhelming Situations with Cheri Gregory
You have no idea how frustrating and difficult it is to be amidst the clutter as an elderly parent. The clutter no doubt collected during the children’s growing years while both parents were holding down jobs to pay rent/mortgage, groceries, vacations, and numerous other expenses involved in raising a family. Then comes the empty nest when the kids pack up for college or the greener grass, or both. Mom and Dad continue to age as the kids begin their own careers, families, etc. (in their greener grass, of course), and they are not much interested in the things they left behind, or in Mom and Dad’s old fashioned things back at the old homestead. Time marches on and before you know it Mom and Dad no longer have the strength and/or ability and money to physically deal with the years of accumulated goodies, not to mention the time due to their new social life in and out of medical appointments and hospitalizations. So you young agile offspring can solve your parent’s clutter issues by becoming involved in cheerfully resolving them with your amazing grit and cross fit muscular fitness!
At first impression, my reaction was similar to the hosts – “My goodness- you are living cheaply with your folks in their space – just deal with it!”
But you were so creative considering attitude adjustment and the possible reasons hubbie might react. I felt energized with hope by the positive approach! Story telling is a great way to sort! Takes away the drudgery.
It also occurred to me that some parents might even share the desire for less stuff , but lack the energy or drive ( or personality style or health) to deal with it all. This podcast made me wish I had a consultation service this ingenious to call with my own hurdles!
I thought your insight was very good…it had not occurred to me that her husband would be bothered by his wife’s reaction to the clutter.
This is a hard situation to be in, no doubt about it 🙂
Thank you for this message today – I have a mother and an aunt that are both widowed now, and they don’t really have clutter – just lots of STUFF! and this will help me approach them to start cleaning it out, so myself & siblings and cousins aren’t left to do it after they are moved to a nursing home, or pass away. Great information! Love the questions to print out also!