What I Wish I’d Known
Sheila Gregoire asks the question:
What one piece of advice do you wish women had given you before you were married? What’s one thing that really surprised you?
When Daniel and I started dating, I joyously referred to him as “the male version of me!” (Only in hindsight does this sound audaciously narcissistic!)
We had so much in common: We both liked ice cubes in our milk. We both preferred unsalted popcorn. We both loved the color blue. Total compatibility was ours!
So what surprised me the most, once we were married, was how different Daniel is from me. He is not the “male version of me.” It isn’t just his Personality; this isn’t simply an Analytic/Melancholy vs. Expressive/Sanguine issue. Daniel isn’t even the “male version” of my best girlfriend. This is an Analytic/Melancholy MAN vs. Expressive/Sanguine WOMAN issue.
What I wish I’d Known
1) I wish I’d known how few words a man can truly hear before he overloads.
2) I wish I’d known about the Mr. Incredible “I Work Alone!” ethic and understood that it’s never personal.
3) I wish I’d known that watching the exit go by is actually far, far, far better than “helpfully” asking, “Shouldn’t you be moving into the right lane?”
4) I wish I’d know that “hanging out together” (his phrase) isn’t just “doing nothing” (my translation).
5) I wish I’d known how vital it is to his core identity to see me happy and to hear me express my happiness.
How about you?
What surprised you? What do you wish you’d known?
Hi Cheri! Thanks for joining Wifey Wednesday!
I totally know what you mean about “hanging out” vs. “doing nothing”. I’ve come to love hanging out–but before I did feel like we had to plan everything, and do something productive. Now just being in the same room is enough.
We’ve mellowed a lot! And I wish I knew then that it was okay to mellow, it wasn’t a sign of failure or something. I’m glad we’ve mellowed. And now I think I’ll go hang out!