Why Most of Your Mistakes Don’t Matter

 

She makes as many mistakes as I do!

I’m editing a podcast episode.

I’m remembering what a fun, fast-paced, hope-filled conversation we’d had with Kathi* on the day we’d recorded the interview.

What I do not recall at all?

Kathi’s mistakes.

Honestly, I’m stunned to discover that she actually made mistakes. For years, I’ve assumed that she’s “a natural,” endowed with a special talent for radio interviews. And I thought that her inborn gift included a knack for flawless performances.

I’ve been wrong all along.

She makes as many mistakes as I do!

• false starts

• ummm‘s and errrrr‘s

• mispronunciations

• substitutions

• halts

They’re all there.

What really amazes me? I didn’t notice any of Kathi’s mistakes during our live interview. Not a one.

Part of me insists She must not have made any mistakes. I didn’t hear them, so they couldn’t have happened! But I’m staring at the data—the Garage Band audio files.

She made mistakes, alright.

She makes as many mistakes as I do!

It’s Not the Mistakes You Make That Matter…

For days, I wonder: Why didn’t I hear her mistakes when they happened?

Eventually, I realize: I don’t remember her mistakes because they didn’t matter to her.

She wasn’t paying attention to her false starts or ummm‘s or errrr‘s or mispronunciations or substitutions or halts.

Of course, for a perfectionist, such mistakes would M-A-T-T-E-R.

Each mistake would trigger error terror which would cause the very thing she was so desperate to avoid: more mistakes.

The anxiety level of the interview would skyrocket, and the energy level would plummet.

But for Kathi, mistakes didn’t matter.

…It’s What You Make of Your Mistakes

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that Kathi’s mistakes didn’t matter to her at all.

What I’m saying is that Kathi’s mistakes didn’t matter to her as much as her message and her audience.

Her mistakes were clearly born of enthusiasm — she believes so much in her message and is so sold out on helping her audience, that in her excitement the words come tumbling out. Sometimes, not quite according to plan.

This is why I didn’t hear any of her mistakes during the live interview:

There’s a world of difference between a perfectionist making mistakes because she’s so scared and someone making mistakes because she’s so excited.

Same mistakes? Yes.

For totally different reasons. Thus, totally different energy. And totally different reactions.

The more mistakes a perfectionist makes, the more self-conscious and self-focused she becomes.

Kathi’s response to her mistakes was to stay fully engaged in the conversation with Amy and me. To focus on the message she was sharing and the audience who would one day be listening.

Our 20 minute interview ran a full hour, and the energy level at the end was higher than when we began.

Despite all the mistakes.

Which we didn’t even notice.

Most Mistakes Don’t Matter

If you’re at all like me — having lived in error terror for decades, certain that mistakes are the worst thing in the world — here’s some pretty terrific news for both of us:

Most mistakes you make don’t matter as much as what you make of your mistakes.

In the months to come, here’s what I want to learn to make of my mistakes:

• When I start feeling  scared, I want to switch to excited.
• When I start becoming self-conscious, I want to get engaged with people.
• When I start fretting about my mistakes, I want to focus on my message.
• When I start worrying what others will think of me, I want to think about serving others.

How about you?

 

 

(*Many thanks to Kathi for her generous permission and pre-approval of this blog post!)