#297: The Holiness of Ordinary Help — Why Being Present Matters

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Grit ‘n’ Grace — The Podcast

Episode #297: The Holiness of Ordinary Help — Why Being Present Matters

Cheri Gregory
Do you ever wonder if your help actually matters? You show up, you do what you can, and later your Inner Critic whispers, “You didn’t make any real difference.” But what if you don’t have to be the expert, the fixer, or the hero who ‘saves the day’? In today’s conversation, my guest co-host Marisa Terrell and I discuss why your presence, rather than your performance, is often the greatest gift you can give. You’ll hear how ordinary presence can calm chaos, restore hope, and reflect God’s heart. Consider this episode your permission slip to stop second-guessing and start trusting the quiet power of simply showing up.

[Intro music]

Welcome to Grit ‘n’ Grace – The Podcast for Highly Sensitive Christian Women!

I’m your host, Cheri Gregory.

Are you tired of the overthinking, overwhelm, and exhaustion that come with being a Highly Sensitive Person?

Are you ready to stop worrying that something’s wrong with you and start understanding and nurturing yourself as an HSP?

Together, we’ll build resilience, practice self-compassion, set healthy boundaries, unlock your creativity, and learn to embrace – not fight – your God-given sensitivity.

Let’s dig in!

[Intro music fades]

Hey friend —

I’m so glad you’ve joined me today!

Yesterday marked five full weeks since I drove back home after almost two weeks in southern California. My father continues to be stable, for which we are grateful.

While I was in southern California, I had a Zoom session with a coaching client who has become a dear friend: Marisa Terrell.

One of my absolute favorite things about this kind of ongoing coaching relationship is what I’ve dubbed the ‘reciprocal blessings.’

You’re about to hear Marisa share a personal story that stopped me in my tracks. And then you’ll hear how her story completely reframed an experience I’d had earlier that same week.

So with gratitude for her gracious permission to share this excerpt from our coaching call, here’s Marisa.

Marisa Terrell
I couldn’t wait to tell you this. Last Saturday – literally, Cheri, a block from my house, I stopped at the stoplight and my car dies. This has never happened to me before in my entire life. I mean, I’ve gone out before to my car, and it just wouldn’t start. You know, the battery’s died, that’s happened. Not while I’m driving. So I was freaking out. But Cheri, can I tell you – I’m gonna have to, I think, because I’m pretty sure you’re probably gonna tell me to do this, I need to record everything that happened, because this testimony that came from this whole ordeal was freaking phenomenal. So I’m gonna try to squeeze it way down because I don’t want this to be too long.

Cheri Gregory
Yeah, but don’t rush yourself. Do tell. I am all ears, girlfriend.

Marisa Terrell
So, like I said, I’m literally a block from my house, yeah? I mean, like after I go through the intersection, I’ll be home in like two seconds. And so I put the car in – because there was like, one car in front of me, so I said, ‘We’re stopped at a red light.’ So I immediately put the car in park, and then I put on the hazards, because I’m like, ‘Okay, something’s wrong, because the car just died.’ So it’s like, three lights, all of a sudden, boop on the dash. Mind you, my car is old. It’s almost 20 years old.

So, immediately I pick up the phone, and I’m – because Ryan’s at home – as I am calling him, there was a car behind me, so they saw my hazards come on, so you know, they pull around me, they drive off. The car behind them immediately pulls up alongside me, and is like, “Hey, are you okay?” And I’m like, “No.” He must have known. So he pulls in, you know, because there’s a spot in front of me, so he pulls in front of me, gets out of the car, was like, “Well, hey, what happened?” I was like, “I don’t know. I was driving, the car just died.” He’s like, “Well, let’s try to jump it.”
Okay. So he pulls his Jeep up on the grass to be like, more alongside me. And so he was like, and I’m like, “Oh, I have jumper cable.” So I get out of the car, go grab the jumper cables. And he hooks up and everything. And we tried to jump the car four times, and it just, yeah, nothing. And to me, I felt like, I didn’t think it was the battery, it wouldn’t just die! Like, you know what I mean? It wouldn’t even, would’ve never started! So he, at that point, he’s like, “Well, I’m sorry, we tried,” I’m like, “It’s okay.” I’m like, “Thank you so much. You know, you didn’t have to stop. Can you have a CashApp or something? Can I pay you?” He was like, “No, no. Don’t even worry about it.” I mean, he was so sweet. Guardian angel number one.
I’m like, “Yeah, this is so crazy. This never happens. I just live up the street.” He was like, “Well, so do I.” He’s one of my neighbors. He’s in the – I don’t know what he lives on, like the street over here. And I’ve never seen the guy, never met him. I don’t know who this man is, Zach. I pray that God would bless him and his family for the rest of their days, because he had on scrubs, so I don’t know if maybe he was a doctor or, like, a nurse or something, I don’t know. Looks like he probably had just came home from work, because it was like, 7:00 in the evening. So I don’t know. I thank him profusely. He drives off.
So now Ryan’s in the car with me. I didn’t even see him walk up. I swear it was just like, God just dropped Ryan there. Was like, oh, there’s Ryan! So then me and Ryan are trying to figure it out. So Ryan pops my hood, and he’s looking at all, you know, all the, checking all the levels and everything, right? Trying to see if I ran out of oil, whatever. Mind you, we had just checked on my levels, like, maybe two or three months ago, and everything was fine. The oil was fine. I mean, everything. The car didn’t overheat, none of that stuff. So we couldn’t figure it out. So I was like, “Well, let me call AAA because now I’m gonna have to get a tow,” because we don’t – I mean, clearly it’s not the battery, something, something.
So like I said, Jeep guy, Zach, drives off. Another car, maybe probably 5-10 minutes later, pulls up alongside us, like, “Hey, you guys need help?” you know. And we’re like, “No,” you know, because I, at that point, I called AAA. They’re like, okay, you know, “The tow truck people will call you.” Alright, cool. And so, and they were like, I’m like, “We’re just waiting for the tow truck.” They’re like, “Are you sure?” Like, yeah. And they’re like, “Okay, because we’re gonna go get gas.” I’m like, “No, we’re good.” Because I think maybe they thought we had ran out of gas. I had gas. Nope. So they drive off. Tell them no.
So then me and Ryan are just sitting there waiting, and you know, he’s still trying to look at the car and figure out what’s going on. Probably 10 minutes later, another lady, another woman drives up behind us, woman, by herself, Cheri. See, you’re like me. I would never. Whenever I pass somebody stopped, I say a prayer and I keep it moving.

Cheri Gregory
I pray and accelerate.
Marisa Terrell
(Laughing) Yes. So this woman, she parks behind me, gets out, you know, puts her hazards on, like, “Hey, are you guys okay? Do you need help?” I’m looking at her like, “Lady, what are you doing?” I’m like, “No.” So angel number three, and I’m like, “No, ma’am.” You know, “Thank you for checking on us. We already called the tow truck. We’re just waiting on them to show up.” She’s like “Okay, just making sure you’re okay.” I mean, I’m like, just gets in her car, drives off.

So then another guy pulls in behind us, puts on his flashers. Cheri, I think he had a brand new car. I think it was a Bronco or something, some big SUV, I could tell it was brand new. Here this man is, putting his car at risk, so he parks right behind us, puts on his flashers, gets out of his car, and comes up. And so the guy’s like, “Hey,” you know, “you guys need help?” and you know, we’re telling them the story, you know, telling him the story. “No, I’m still waiting on tow truck.” He’s like, “Well, did you call the police?” and we’re like, “Well, no.” He’s like, “Well, I think you should call the police,” you know, “so they can come and maybe sit, you know, sit behind you guys and help direct traffic, or maybe give you a push.”

Totally made sense. It’s like, you know what, you’re right. Cheri, I get back on the phone. Call the non-emergency line. Call the police. And so, and telling them what, you know, tell them what’s going on. Like, “Yeah, waiting on a tow truck.” Don’t know what’s gonna be – it’s already been 30-40 minutes at this point.

So they’re like, “Okay, well, we’ll send a police officer to come around.” So I opened the door and I told the guy, “Hey, you know, thank you so much. We called the police. They said they should send somebody along shortly.” Cheri, do you know what this man said? He said, “I am going to wait until either the tow truck shows up or the police officer and whoever shows up first, then I’ll leave.” Do you know it took almost 30 minutes – this man stayed behind us and was out of his car and was like, behind his car and was waving people to go around.

I’m just like, God, if You, is this, am I tripping? Because I, you know, you expect the best of everybody, but I’m one of those people. I just don’t ever expect good things to happen to me, like, though I wish it for everybody else, and I know, but I’m just so – I don’t know why, but trust me, after this, that is gone. And I’m just like, God, you care about me too! Because you would send somebody to be a watchman over us, some man that I don’t even, I don’t even know who he was. I never even got a chance to even thank him, but we didn’t ask him to to stay.

I prayed for everybody that stopped. I mean,that restored my faith in humanity. Because I really do. I tell Ryan all the time, I’m like, I think like the people that are in our sphere are really good people, but just if you watch the news, look at everything else, it looks like even people who run in the world and there’s like, us good people barely exist–

Cheri Gregory
And ‘We don’t have a chance. We can’t make a difference for anybody.’ So we’re just, ‘Why bother trying?’ And you had, how many people who bothered trying?

Marisa Terrell
Four!

Cheri Gregory
Fantastic.

Marisa Terrell
I know! And then one that stayed to protect us! I was like, God? Trust me, I long talked with God Sunday, and I cried and everything, because it was just, I was like, I just, I will never doubt you ever again. I’m, like, sorry, God, I’m sorry.

Cheri Gregory
I am glad that you were safe that whole time and that you had so many people come by. That’s just amazing.

Marisa Terrell
I know. Just like, God’s angels. I was like, okay, so maybe, I guess, yeah, like I said, I’m gonna stop doubting and just trust God and know that He has me. Because even though, yeah, that was a traumatic thing that happened, I didn’t even have a chance to be traumatized because it was like, help – I mean, that’s what I was gonna tell you too. That, the first guy in the jeep, I mean, he literally pulled up within maybe five seconds. So it’s not like I had to wait five minutes for someone to show up, or Ryan to come up the street. I mean, it was within seconds, he was right there. And I’m like, Okay, God, You care about me too. Like.

Cheri Gregory
One of the things I keep reading over and over again about trauma is something that makes a hard situation traumatic is being alone in it and being unwitnessed. And it sounds like you were never actually alone. So it was a hard situation. I mean, I’m not in any way wanting to downplay that, but what a powerful illustration. People not only stopping but then staying. There’s something really profound about that. So you’ve got a story that has many layers to it. I think you’ll be telling this one again.

Marisa Terrell
I think so too. But I’m like, I’m saving it here because I’m like, I’ve been retelling it so it’s, it is in me, but yes, it’s going to be, like you said it’s layers, I know, you’ll help me peel them back at some point.

Cheri Gregory
But now I’m going to tell you what happened to me this week. Because literally, I was just in the shower thinking “Maybe I just was stupid. Maybe what I did was dumb and I shouldn’t have done it.” So let me tell you my story.

I’d gotten off the freeway and I was going to go get a pedicure. I think when I came down to see my dad, I packed in such a hurry, I didn’t look at my packing list, so I forgot shoes. So I’m going to go get a pedicure, because I didn’t mean to wear flip flops for a solid week, right? And I’m seeing human beings who see my toenails, and I’m like, “Oh, you’re not family. You shouldn’t have to look at that.”

So I’m coming off the freeway, and I’m about to turn left into the shopping plaza where my pedicure place is, and there’s no light. It’s just one of those places where there’s two to three lanes of oncoming traffic, and then two to three lanes of traffic going my direction, and there’s several cars in front of me, and the first car at the front that’s going to go left into the shopping area is black. I suddenly think “Don’t go; stop.”

Marisa Terrell
About the black car?

Yeah, and it has started to turn. But I’m several cars back, so I can clearly see there is an oncoming silver car. And my brain, of course, does the physics thing that all of our brains do. And it’s like, “No, it’s going too fast. You should not be going.” And for a split second, all I see is the black car. And I’m like, okay, the silver car must have swerved, or the black car must have stopped just in time. And then I hear the crash, boom, that horrible sound of a crash. And I’m like, “Okay, what do I do now?” I saw it happen, and if anyone would benefit from my statement, I want to at least give them my information, because it was clear to me who was at fault. It was 100% clear that it was a black car that should not have turned when it did.

So I go around the mess, I park, and by the time I come back, and I bring my keys and my cell phone with me, the black car has pulled up, and then the gray car has pulled up. Well out of the black car has come a man, and the best way I can describe him is he is not exhibiting emotional maturity of any kind.

Marisa Terrell
Oh, lordy, yeah.

Cheri Gregory
And in the silver car is a young woman. So I go to her, her window’s down, I said, “Are you okay?” And you can tell she’s really shaken up. And her first words are, “This is a company car.” And I said “I saw what happened.” I said, “I will stay.” I think she asked me, “Did you see what happened?” I said, “Yes, that’s why I’ve stopped. Clearly the black car was at fault.” And I said, “I will stay.” And so the guy comes up, but then he’s yelling at the woman who was with him. “That’s it! That’s it! We’re done! We’re over! You argue with me–” So he’s in full on fight mode.

And so the young woman gets out and he’s brought papers – and that was the other thing is, I was like, I want to make sure nobody tries to weasel their way out of doing the process that we’ve all been taught to do. Yeah, she takes his information, and then she calls her work, and they require that she call the police. They require a police statement, because it was a company car.

Marisa Terrell
Yeah. That makes sense, yeah.

Cheri Gregory
And at that point, he starts using expletives. So finally, the police come. I go over, give my information, and I’d already given my cell phone number to the young woman in the silver car, I give a quick statement to the police officer, and he gets my driver’s license and my phone number and says they’ll contact me if they need anything. And then, while I’m getting my pedicure, the young woman, she texts me and says thanks, and she says that probably her job will want a statement from me, because you can tell she’s concerned that this is the company car and make sure that she wasn’t at fault. Because if she was at fault, the company might make her pay for, you know what I mean? She could lose her job, insurance, everything.

So the reason I share this story is because I was literally in the shower going, “Cheri, you’re an idiot. You didn’t make any difference. You were just showing off. You were just trying to be a really obvious Good Samaritan. They would have been fine without you,” and so to hear your story made me realize that showing up and staying is never the wrong choice, even if they had been like, “What is she doing here?” Okay, I did what I felt led to do, and whether or not it made a world of difference for anybody is not the point, and it may have made more difference than I know.

Marisa Terrell
You did the right thing, because he could have easily bullied her.

Cheri Gregory
That was my fear.

Marisa Terrell
And it would have been something completely different. He’d probably try to over talk her once the cop showed up, and then, because then it’s he said, she said, so you were the unbiased one.

Cheri Gregory
She texted me and said that he said that he turned because she had waved him on. I’m like–

Marisa Terrell
Oh, as she’s driving!

Cheri Gregory
I know. My only point is, when you put these two stories together, it gives a bigger picture. How often do we have only half of the story? And in my case, I’ve been having this kind of like, “Oh, well, maybe I should rethink that sort of thing and not get involved.” But I hadn’t thought of it from the viewpoint of the importance of doing things when we feel led to do them, and the fact that in a world that feels like it’s going crazy to show up for people and to stay so that they’re not alone. That’s important. So thank you for sharing your story, because, like I said, it made me feel like, “Oh, I’m so glad somebody stayed with my friend Marisa,” and that helped me realize, yes, I did the right thing. I’ll do it again. You affirmed what I did.

Marisa Terrell
Yes, see, that’s why we need to share this. And I was gonna say and thank you for stopping and being her guardian angel.

Cheri Gregory
And I didn’t think of it that way. I thought of it as silly Cheri showing off or doing something dumb, you know.

Marisa Terrell
No, because think if you hadn’t stopped, she would have been alone that whole time. The guy was belligerent and acting irate. Yeah, I mean, and who knows what he would have done? Who knows? He might have went crazy? So, yeah, so you were there for her.

Cheri Gregory
The things that we don’t know, the things that when we only see a slice, you know, you were on the receiving end. I was on the ‘giving end.’ What you helped me see is that it was that connectedness, that we’re all connected in significant ways, and I’m so glad somebody stopped for you. Maybe there’s someone in her life that is glad that I stopped for her. And it doesn’t matter if I ever hear from them or know it. It’s just we do these things because we recognize that we’re connected and it does matter.

Marisa Terrell
And there are good people in the world. Oh my goodness, yes!

Cheri Gregory
After Marissa and I finished the coaching portion of our Zoom, I had a couple of important ‘Aha!’ moments as a result of our initial conversation, and here’s what I journaled:

Number one, I’ve been carrying the impact of witnessing this accident in my body for several days now, as someone who has totaled two cars, and I was at fault both times. I know what that awful sound of a car crash feels like from the driver’s seat. I have empathy for the driver of the black car and the situation he was in because of a split second decision he couldn’t take back. I’ve been there, and it feels awful; but on Wednesday, there was absolutely no way to communicate any of my empathy to him, and that’s hard for me as an HSP to be so full of empathy with nowhere for it to go.

And number two, the negative self-talk I experienced in the shower this morning, feeling like I’ve been dumb and stupid and show-offish to stop and be a witness – that was a vulnerability hangover. Thank you, Dr. Brene Brown. The driver of the black car got mad, so I’ve been feeling like I did something bad. Now that I can recognize this lifelong pattern at work – someone is mad, so I must have done bad – I can be intentional about reconnecting to the gentleness of Jesus and returning to the bubble of protection. “In Him we live and move and have our being.” Acts 17:28.

What you’ve heard in this episode is what can happen when a coaching client becomes a trusted friend. Now, we did go on to have a very nuts and bolts coaching call, but first, as you heard, we spent some time verbally processing together, and the stories we shared strengthened us both.

If you’ve been longing for ongoing support and reciprocal blessings in your own writing and speaking journey, check out the Write Beside You unlimited coaching program. Just go to cherigregory.com/write, and you’ll also find the link in the show notes.

[Outro music]

Thank you for listening to Grit ‘n’ Grace – The Podcast for Highly Sensitive Christian Women!

I hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged, equipped to thrive, and determined to simply SHOW UP!

Be sure to follow in your favorite podcast app and share this episode with a friend!
If you’re brand new to the whole HSP concept, come take the “Am I a Highly Sensitive Person?” quiz — you’ll find that link in the show notes.
And remember: God created you sensitive; in Christ, you are always strong.

Cheri Gregory
​​As HSPs, it’s so easy to get stuck in our own heads and second-guess our every move. That’s one of the reasons I created the “Write Beside You” Unlimited Coaching Program — to walk alongside HSP Christian writers, speakers, and coaches so you don’t stay stuck.

Here’s another client, debut author Brandice Lardner — whose powerful book Fully Nourished releases in early 2026! — describing how coaching helped her quiet her doubts and boldly share the message God has laid on her heart.

Brandice Lardner
Hi, my name is Brandice, and I’m the founder of Grace Filled Plate. And I’m here to tell you about my experience working with the amazing Cheri Gregory. What a wonderful writing coach Cheri was for me. I started working with Cheri when I began to compile my proposal. And let me tell you, the nerves and the self doubt that come during that process are so substantial and really crippling in many ways. And Cheri talked me through that process, helped me gain confidence that I believe, helped me land a book contract as I stood boldly, excited about what it was that I had to present my efficiency in working with Cheri was through the roof because I didn’t stay stuck in my own head, doubting myself. She encouraged me with simple tools, how to keep moving forward and how to get my message out to the world. If you’re on the fence about hiring a coach, I will tell you it was one of the best decisions that I made, having someone there to cheer you on, to run your rampant thoughts through so you don’t stay stuck in the mud and really keeping you motivated to keep going forward, as she’s been there herself, and she knows what it takes to get published. I’m also a highly sensitive person, and so I live a lot in my own head, and my emotions can feel really big and hard to manage sometimes. And Cheri knowing that really gave me an advantage, because she knew what was going on in my mind, and she knew how to calm those fears that I could keep pressing forward and get done what I needed to get done. Thank you, Cheri, for being such an important part of my journey.

If you’re ready for coaching that honors your HSP wiring, head to cherigregory.com/write (that’s W-R-I-T-E) to learn more!