#294: Healing at a Gentle Pace—Why We Need Tender Words and Ample Time

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Grit ‘n’ Grace — The Podcast

Ep #294: Healing at a Gentle Pace—Why We Need Tender Words and Ample Time

In a world obsessed with “quick fixes,” Highly Sensitive Persons can feel perpetually stuck — as if growing slowly means something’s gone terribly wrong.

But deep healing does not happen by force or formula.

So in this episode, we offer you a gentler invitation: to drop the timeline, to honor the pace of your body and heart, and to trust that so-called “delayed” healing is still holy ground.

Through Danielle Grosse’s tender story of recovering while writing, we explore how gentle truths and soul-safe collaboration can help HSPs mend. Not by “powering through,” but by finding refuge in the One who heals our deepest hurts.

[Intro music]

Welcome to Grit ‘n’ Grace – The Podcast for Highly Sensitive Christian Women!

I’m your host, Cheri Gregory.

Are you tired of the overthinking, overwhelm, and exhaustion that come with being a Highly Sensitive Person?

Are you ready to stop worrying that something’s wrong with you and start understanding and nurturing yourself as an HSP?

Together, we’ll build resilience, practice self-compassion, set healthy boundaries, unlock your creativity, and learn to embrace – not fight – your God-given sensitivity.

Let’s dig in!

[Intro music fades]

Hey friend –

I am so glad that you’re joining me today!

Now, just a quick heads up: this is Part 2 of a 3-part conversation. So if you haven’t had a chance to listen to Episode 293 yet, let me suggest that you go back and hear that first. You’ll find the link in the show notes.

Alrighty!

In today’s episode, we’re discussing – and demonstrating – one of my absolute favorite things: collaboration.

And once again, you’ll hear from various members of the “Clarity in Your Calling” Mastermind, the group coaching program I facilitate for HSP Christian women who are writers, speakers, coaches, podcasters, communicators, creatives… you get the idea.

We recorded this episode session during a Zoom session celebrating with one of our members – Danielle Grosse – during the release of her powerful book: The Boy, the Boxer, and the Yellow Rose: Because You’re Never Truly Lost, You’re Healing.

Here’s what it says on the back of the book:

“This is the sweet story of a college student sent to pick up a dog for his parents only to discover a frightened boxer abandoned in a crate-left behind by the very people who were supposed to love him.

The boy doesn’t walk away.

He kneels.

He stays.

And together, they begin a quiet journey of healing neither of them expected.

With more than 100 expressive drawings, The Boy, the Boxer, and the Yellow Rose is a Christian fable told with gentle honesty that explores the sacred space between pain and hope—that place where love shows up and refuses to let go. Tucked within its pages are dozens of healing truths for anyone who’s ever felt boxed in by heartbreak, loneliness, or sorrow too deep to name.

If something in this story feels achingly familiar—if you’ve been holding it together on the outside but quietly falling apart on the inside-please don’t stay hidden.

You don’t even have to whisper, “Come find me.”

Because love is already on its way.

It’s right here in these pages, ready to meet you where you are – and walk with you toward healing.”

You’ll find the link to order a copy of Danielle Grosse’s life-changing book – or a dozen copies! – at CheriGregory.com/episode294 or in the show notes.

And now, let’s return to our roundtable conversation, with Lori Margo kicking things off with our next question for Dani!

Lori Margo

What’s the main message you want readers to come away with from your book?

Danielle Grosse

I would say that the main message is we look at the process of healing as as being heroic, and it is, but it’s not just one step out of your box. And I wanted to have something that was very non-threatening for where people were in their process. No matter where you are in your process, you are going to get better. So it’s that gentle message of hope. We may not be able to see past what we’re going through, but when we’re ready, God is going to nudge us forward with that feeling of hope. And that expectancy that we may not always be who we were before the incident happened, but we can take those threads of who we were and pull them through to become what God is fashioning through what our experiences are.

And so I can tell you that it’s really evolved, because in the beginning it was going through the process of this story, and yeah, you have this overall vision. But as I’ve been giving people the book, or hearing their feedback from the book, it’s more what the reader is bringing than what I wrote. And I don’t know if that makes any sense at all.

Cheri Gregory

Oh, it makes 100% sense. Go ahead. Pam,

Pam

When I got to the end of the book, where you list the 35 lessons from a mended soul, I got down to one of the earlier ones, ‘Even in the loneliest moments, love is revealed in the way we care.’ And that’s when I started ugly crying, because the very day before, which was Mother’s Day, I had gotten up that morning in a season where I was just deep in the box, you know, lonely and raw and overwhelmed and not sure when, how, or if I’ve even ever find my way out.

So the very day before I read your book, God created this sweet opportunity for me to be my true self. And that day, love was revealed in the way that we care, and I was reminded that even when I’m deep in the box, God still finds ways to let love out and let me show up as me.

So again, I read your book, and you articulated the moment that I was in when I read it, and it was the most powerful takeaway I think I’ve heard in months. And I’m so grateful to you for your words, and I’m grateful to God for this divine opportunity to show me the box, to show me how I’d still reveal my true self, to still show me that God finds ways to let love out. I mean, you wrote the story I was living. I don’t know how it’s expressed any more clearly than that.

Cheri Gregory

Okay, I love how you phrased that, ‘You wrote the story that I was living.’
So Dani, you’ve kind of heard those kinds of stories from a variety of people, and so while maintaining anonymity, can you just share maybe another example or two of people you’ve heard from who kind of felt the same way, like they they saw themselves in the pages in ways maybe you had never expected someone to

Danielle Grosse

God has just put this book in the hands of people in miraculous ways. When I first was getting the first manuscript back, I wanted to, I wanted to hold a copy of it in my hands, and I wanted Jenna to hold a copy. And so I took this book down to the copy center, and I said, “Would you, would you mind making a copy in confidence?” And the girl there was like, “Sure.” And she walked – I’ll never forget, she walked away from me, and I could see her thumbing through the pages, and then there are these tears streaming down her eyes. And she turned around and looked at me, and she said, “I’m not surprised you came in today with this book.” And I said, “Why is that?” And she said, “Today is the anniversary that I lost my brother and my sister-in-law.” And she said, “Wow, look at God showing up today.”

And I said, “Would you like a copy of the book before it’s even printed? I trust you, just take it home and read it.” And she took it home that night, and she said, I got a blanket out and I made myself a cup of tea.” And she said, “I sat in my recliner and I started at page one, and I couldn’t quit until I was done.”
And then what she said next was, “I’ve always wanted a tool. I’ve always wanted to help other people heal, because I know how hard it is.” And she said, “I want multiple copies of this book, because I can give it to someone and say, ‘When you’re ready, this is where I was.’”

Cheri Gregory

And you absolutely did not have her in mind as you were writing it, because you didn’t know anything about her!

Danielle Grosse

I didn’t even know her.

Cheri Gregory
Yeah. Oh, I love that. I love that.

Pam

Dani, do you ever see this as a resource and a comfort to give to grief stricken people? I can see this is such a comfort to people going through loss.

Danielle Grosse

Pam, I really appreciate that. I’ve had the facilitator of Grief Share from my church that came to me and said, “We would like to give this on the first night of Grief Share.” And then I had another person that said, “Well, if Grief Share endorses you, I would like to take this to Jessica’s House,” which is in California, and
they deal with children who have lost one parent, and they counsel with the one parent and the child.

So I’m just praying that God opens doors.

Sandra Littlejohn

Dani, I’m curious, what was it like collaborating with your daughter-in-law? Did she have the idea, or did she just feel like God, like something on her heart? Can you tell me more about that?

Danielle Grosse

I think God put something on her heart that said, you know, “You can work together with your mother-in-law,” which that’s a blessing in itself, I guess. But Jenna has always had like, this very gentle soul. She rides horses, and she trains horses, and I’ll tell you about her horse named Scout. This is the kind of person that Jenna is. She had Scout from the time he was born, and she called us up the day she was going to ride him for the first time, and she said, “Hey, I need for you guys to be there in case something goes awry.”

She had taken this horse from being a baby and desensitized him to the point where she would take a feed sack and she would rub it against his neck. She would continually walk him back and through gates. I mean, it was a three year process, and so I’m showing up, I’m thinking, “We are going to be in for a rodeo.” And she gets on Scout, and I have the video, and he looks back at her like, “Well, there’s another way for you to love on me. And they walked around the round pen, and the next thing you know, she’s riding him. I mean, it was amazing to watch her put her weight on him and let him adjust to that, and then, you know, like all these little steps. So I knew what her heart was like.

And when she came to me and said, “I’d like to work with you on a book,” I was like, “Yep, you’re gentle, and so we can work together.” It was very interesting. We both stayed in our own lanes. I can’t tell you that she ever said, “Well, I don’t understand this part of the story or anything like that. And I never went to her and said, “You need to change this illustration.” It was just really nice to work so well together and stay in our own lanes. Everybody knows, I can’t even do Pictionary.

Cheri Gregory

So it sounds like she was a really safe person for you to collaborate with.

Danielle Grosse

Yes, very much so. Very safe, good spaces.

Cheri Gregory

And how did you feel as she started sending you drawings, because you started with the draft, and then at some point, she got the words, she got the story. And then, of course, she started sending you drawings.

How did – what impact did that have on you to start seeing the actual picture she was drawing?

Danielle Grosse

So I think there are two things: artists never mind their process, which, for me, that’s why I can’t even do Pictionary. I like to get it out there, get it fast and look at it, and I want it really pretty visually, right? So she sent me one drawing, and I was like, “Okay, that looks great,” and I liked it. And she said, “No, it’s not right. I don’t like the process.”

She probably went through five different kinds of ways to draw her illustrations, and then came up with the pen and ink wash. So that’s what happened first; and then – and I write about it in the book. I had taken a serious fall, and we were in Scotland where I couldn’t get any help for my pain, and I was – I had broken three vertebrae and my pelvis in two spots, and I couldn’t get any imaging because of the way the system is over there. And so I would lie in our hotel room on the floor all day long, and I would just cry, because the pain was really intense, and I felt so helpless, like I couldn’t find the answers I was looking for. And the only thing that got me through, and I can tell you this, I would just say, “Jesus, could you come rub my back? And He was there with me the whole time.

And I would get through that, that whole issue of pain, and then there would be a ping on my phone, and it would be another illustration from the book, and it was all I could do not to just just weep. It was like, “Okay, God, you haven’t forgotten me. I’m here.” So it wasn’t only the beauty of seeing what she was creating and how we were drafting it together. It was how God was weaving this healing, saying, “Take your time. I haven’t forgotten you. You will get through this, and there will be beauty on the other side.” I think that was such an important thing for me to understand.

Cheri Gregory

Okay, I’m just going to let that have some space there, because it really feels like the whole process that you lived through, in many ways, mirrored the actual message and story of the book that you lived it, once with the actual Mac dog, and then you lived it again as you wrote this fable, but that truth was lived out while you were writing it.

I believe that when that happens, that’s one of the reasons the truth is coming out in this book is speaking so powerfully to people, no matter where they’re at, is because you didn’t just sit back and go, “Oh, I’m going to write a cute story with pretty illustrations the end,” but you really fought and wrestled your way through it. And I’m not saying that’s always the case, or always has to be the case. But there’s nothing trite or glib about the process, and there’s nothing trite or glib about the end result here.

Sandra
Things of three are important for me, living the story, the healing, writing the story, and then the healing that comes through the illustrations. That’s very powerful. And then what you said at the end about love showed up on the other side. I love that. That’s very powerful.

Cheri Gregory

Yeah, well, it’s wonderful to – I mean, I’m so sorry that you had the fall and you went through all that pain, but it’s so valuable to hear that the process wasn’t quick and easy and breezy and all that sort of thing, like it’s easy to look at the finished product and go, “Wow, wow. She is so talented.” Which is true, both you and Jenna are talented, but so often we can assume that that must mean it was easy. That must mean that there was no effort. It just, it came out just like this. So getting a glimpse into your process is so valuable.

Kristine

Dani, I have a question as a writer to another writer about the process of, how did you put the journey of the story together with the lessons that you wanted to weave throughout was one before the other? Or how, how did you mesh them together so beautifully?

Danielle Grosse

The part of the book that I struggled with the hardest were the 35 lessons from a mended soul, and there were a couple of reasons for that. The last thing I wanted in this book was to sound preachy, and so it’s easy if you’re creating a lesson from a fable or something. I wanted every word that I put into those lessons to be a comfort and not an instruction. I didn’t want to use ‘could’ or ‘should,’ and so at first, when I would put those in there, I called it a gentle healing moment, and it still felt too preachy.

So I took the book, and I took them all out, and I read it to my husband out loud, the first like section, and that was as long as I could stand and I go, “This is terrible, because this is not what I’m supposed to do.” And of course, he looks at me over his coffee and is like, “I don’t know what to do with you. You’ve been working on this for so long, and now you take all these lessons out.” So then I put them all back in, and I just wanted to make sure that each word was helpful and not coming at a person in that teaching way that it has to be A, B, C or D, that you could take something away with you.

So actually, those 35 lessons from a mended soul were a journey, a second journey. As a writer, you had, you know, you had this story on top, and then you had to make sure that these flowed and applied to where the scene was, but also where the, where your heart was.

Cheri Gregory

Correct me if I’m wrong, but at some point you realized that using the phrasing “…and then Mac dog learned” would be helpful. Rather than “…what we can learn,” which we all know means, ‘here’s what you as the reader need to learn.’ But as soon as you said “…and then Mac dog learned,” suddenly we’re pulled in in ways that any other verbiage would have been repulsive to the reader.
What do you remember when – first of all, if I got it wrong, correct me. But if by any chance I’m accurate, do you have a feel for when in the process you got to real, you realized, “Ah, ‘…and then Mac dog learned’” was your key?

Danielle Grosse

It was after I had struggled for months, okay, and I took everything out, okay. And so staying true to the illustrations and staying true to the story, it was his story. So they were his lessons. So anything else would have felt like I was intruding as the author. And so that’s when that came along.

Cheri Gregory

Well, we appreciate so much that you went through that struggle. And how many of us have read books where the author didn’t go through that struggle and we put it down because we’re like, “Nope, nope, I’m done being preached at by Chapter Two.”
Pam, go ahead.

Pam

One of the things that as you’re talking I realized I love about the 35 lessons is that they honor the complexity, which is something we talk about a lot in our group. They’re nuanced, and there are 35 of them, and they do cover the evolution of Mac dog, who becomes healed. I mean, certainly he grows as a character. But the lessons themselves, to me, are not necessarily linear. Like I might be at any one of them, at even any given point in my story. So this read to me so differently. Obviously, it’s a fable, but the lessons themselves were not ‘10 Easy How-to Steps,’ kind of offering.
And I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes, “Books don’t change lives, sentences do.” You know the one that I shared? “Even in the loneliest moments, love is revealed in the way we care”? I’m going to take that away. I’m not going to forget Mac dog, but I appreciate the care that you put in every sentence, and it’s so obvious, but I just wanted to say they’re presented in a way that honors the complexity of our own story, if you will.

Cheri Gregory

I appreciate that, because God has not given any of us ministries that have a cookie cutter, step one, step two, step three, step four. And so to be able to share truths in a story form, where – again, each person is going to grab what they need during that particular read through, and that will be the order in which they needed.

And my guess, Dani, is that as the years go by, you’re going to hear from people who’ve read it again and again and again, and each time they read it, they’re going to see something that wasn’t in the book the first time. They’ll be like, “I don’t know how it happened.” You chose a format that allows them to almost create their own adventure with these lessons for the Holy Spirit, to highlight what they need in that particular season of their life, rather than the lock step, which
you know, for those of us who write non-fiction, our publishers do expect Chapter 1 to to have the first step and Chapter 2 to have the second, you know, that sort of thing; but what you did was was very complex, and we want to honor and bear witness to the effort that went into that.

Pam, you’ve got the next question,

Pam

What helped you keep going when writing or life got hard? Boy, can I relate to that. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Danielle Grosse

I would say, when life got hard, the writing was what kept me going. If that makes any sense.

Pam

Cheri, how often do I tell you on our coaching call that in the middle of grief upon grief upon grief, our time together in writing work is the best part of my week. So testify, I’m right there with you. I didn’t mean to cut you off, but hallelujah. Absolutely.

Danielle Grosse

Just having that purpose, because you’ve got to remember that when I’m in Scotland, I’m responsible for taking people to castles and to historic sites. I’m their host, and I could barely get down the stairs in order to eat dinner with them, much less sit through a dinner with them. And so I was feeling, not only – you know, my husband would say, “Well, your job is to get better.” Well, getting better was just taking a really long time. So to have the story that I could be thinking about and developing and, you know, “Okay, I need to rewrite this section of conversation.” You know, that’s what really kept me going.

And I can honestly tell you that there wasn’t a point where I just wanted to abandon the whole project. And I think the other thing that kept me going was Jenna, like we would dovetail back and forth. And how do you go to somebody who’s done 50 of 100 illustrations, and you go, “Nope, I’m out. I’m checking out. I can’t do this. Thank you very much, and I’ll see you for Thanksgiving dinner.” Like, that was not an option, guys.

Cheri Gregory

So good. And you know, as someone who has always done collaborative writing in some way, shape or form, I am a huge believer that collaboration is what keeps us moving forward sometimes. Leslie.

Leslie Newman

I know a lot of times when we’re writing a story, it’s so much a part of who we are, and it helps us. And you’ve kind of alluded to how this story helped you, but what specific ways did writing your story help you heal?

Danielle Grosse

First of all, I had to recognize that I needed to heal on a spiritual level, not just on a physical level. When my kids had graduated from high school, we had always lived on the river. From the time I was married, we had a home where I could go and sit on the river, and that was part of who I was. And when our kids graduated, we decided to make a move, which was a good move. But I didn’t realize until I started writing this story, how much I grieved my time on the river. And so I thought that I was healing physically as I was writing this.

And I can tell you that the two years prior to writing the book, I had gone through a lot of losses. Our family had gone through some devastating losses – and I’ll never forget – I was telling my pastor about some of it, and he looked at me, and he said, “Why aren’t you sharing this?” And I said, “Because it is so deep. I can’t talk about it.” And he said, “You need to be careful. You’ve got to find a way to let it out, because sometime it will come out physically.” And I went, “I’m okay. I’m strong. I can do this. I’ve got God on my side. We’re good.” And I’ll be darned. All of a sudden, here I am, flat on my back writing a story about healing, and God is saying “You may think that you’re trying to get rid of the pain that you’re feeling, but it just had manifested, because I didn’t have a way to let it out.

And so my healing was twofold, and so this book allowed me, number one, to recognize it, but not come out with something that would hurt someone else in my family. I had to really kind of deal with what I was dealing with, but still honor their story and the privacy of their story, and so that’s how this book healed me, and it increased my faith. And I know a lot of people walk away from a situation like this and say, “Oh, that was just such a God journey.” It was a humble journey, is what it was. It was a humbling journey that brought me to my knees, and when I got on my knees, I could heal.

Cheri Gregory

When Dani said, “I’m okay. I’m strong. I can do this. I’ve got God on my side. We’re good. And I’ll be darned. All of a sudden,here I am, flat on my back.” I had to mute my microphone to keep from ruining such a vulnerable moment by bursting out laughing.
I was just so stunned because the exact same thing has happened to me, and I’m willing to guess that these words may have resonated with you too, because one thing so many HSPs have in common is that we try to heal from hidden hurts while still showing up for everyone else.

I love how Dani describes herself as a fellow helper learning to gently open my hidden boxes. And I love the authentic story of how inextricably intertwined Dani’s writing and healing have been. You’ll find a link to order a copy of Danielle Grosse’s beautiful book, The Boy, the Boxer, and the Yellow Rose: Because You’re Never Truly Lost, You’re Healing at cherigregory.com/episode294, or in the show notes.

As we’re wrapping up, here are a few reflection questions for you to pray-cess and even journal about.

1. What’s been your relationship with the whole concept of “healing”? Have you expected it to be fast or linear? How have cultural or spiritual messages shaped that expectation?

2. When have you felt pressure to “hurry up and get beyond it”? Whose voices – whether external or internal – have pushed that pressure, and how might God be inviting you into a different pace?

3. Who are your “safe collaborators”? Who in your life honors your sensitivity, supports your slow process, or makes healing feel more possible – not because they try to fix you, but because they sit with you?

As you can tell from the honest and healing moments in last week’s episode and today’s conversation, the “Clarity in Your Calling” Mastermind is so much more than ‘just’ a coaching group. It’s a safe space for real connection. So if you’re a writer, speaker, coach, communicator, and/or creative who is tired of figuring things out alone; if you’ve been longing for coaching that honors your pace and HSP-wiring, this could be your next step. To learn more, head on over to cherigregory.com/mastermind or click the link in the show notes.

[Outro music]

Thank you for listening to Grit ‘n’ Grace – The Podcast for Highly Sensitive Christian Women!

I hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged, equipped to thrive, and committed to honor the healing pace of your body and heart

Be sure to follow in your favorite podcast app and share this episode with a friend!
If you’re brand new to the whole HSP concept, come take the “Am I a Highly Sensitive Person?” quiz – you’ll find that link in the show notes.

And remember: God created you sensitive; in Christ, you are always strong.