Episode #281: Peace on the Go: 5 Tips for Less Stress During Travel and Big Events

Transcript — scroll to read here (or download above)

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Grit ‘n’ Grace — The Podcast

Episode 281: Peace on the Go: 5 Tips for Less Stress During Travel and Big Events

Have you ever found yourself dreading holiday travel, parties, and programs — while everyone around you seems sooo excited?

For some of us, all the seasonal festivities can quickly become an overwhelming avalanche of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion.

And then, we end up feeling guilty for not being able to “just roll with it” … or even ashamed that we can’t focus on “the reason for the season.”

So today, we’re exploring WHY travel and big events take such a toll on our HSP brains and bodies. We’ll talk turkey about HOW past choices have made things harder than necessary. And then, we’ll discuss nitty-gritty HOW-TO tips for navigating holiday trips and group gatherings.

With intentional planning, you can honor your God-given HSP wiring and truly en-joy the most wonderful time of the year.

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Welcome to Grit ‘n’ Grace – The Podcast for Highly Sensitive Christian Women!
I’m your host, Cheri Gregory.
Are you tired of the overthinking, overwhelm, and exhaustion that come with being a Highly Sensitive Person?
Are you ready to stop worrying that something’s wrong with you and start understanding and nurturing yourself as an HSP?
Together, we’ll build resilience, practice self-compassion, set healthy boundaries, unlock your creativity, and learn to embrace—not fight—your God-given sensitivity.
Let’s dig in!
::

Well, my friend, it’s just you and me today, sitting at my kitchen table (figuratively speaking) … lingering over freshly-baked blueberry muffins with a ton of crumble topping.

The sky is cloudless blue … there’s a fog bank waaaay out on the horizon over the Pacific Ocean … and with the window open, you can hear the surf crashing on the beach. The birds have settled down after their morning chatter, but a couple of very determined woodpeckers are hard at work … and the hummingbirds are duking it out over the five feeders that I just filled last night.

The house is quiet – completely blissfully quiet. No ticking clocks. No TV blaring. Even our appliances are mostly silent; and when they do let us know they’re finished working, it’s with a cheery little song (NOT some awful alarm!)

ALL this to say that I love my quiet home.

But there’s one drawback to having a peaceful, HSP-friendly home:

I am reluctant to travel.
My dad loves to tell how when I was a little girl I used to ask, “Why are we leaving home?” every time we pulled out of the driveway on a family trip.
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Followed quickly by, “And when are we coming back?”
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I’ve always had this love/hate relationship with travel.
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You see, I love visiting new places.

But the overwhelming hassles of getting from Point A to Point B?
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​Loathe entirely.​
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Which means that until my mid-40s (which is when I learned about being an HSP) I believed the message: “You just have no sense of adventure.”
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NOW I know that for a Highly Sensitive Person travel is extremely overstimulating.​
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AND I now know that there are specific things I can do to prevent — or at least mitigate — much of the overwhelm that comes with travel.

So today, we’re going to look at 5 ways to preserve your peace and have less stress when you travel and attend big events are:
Recognize WHY travel and big events take a toll on your HSP brain and body

Analyze HOW past choices have made travel and big events harder than necessary

Plan for your needs

Advocate for yourself

Reflect on your learning

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1. Recognize WHY travel and big events take a toll on your HSP brain and body

Here are just a few of the MANY many reasons:

HSPs excel at deep processing … but travel and big events are full of suddenness and interruptions. I’m someone who startles easily, and I feel like all I do when I’m traveling or at a big event … all I do is spend that time trying not to over-react to all the sudden changes and interruptions.

We’re also easily over-stimulated by sensory input, which we can manage in our own homes but have no control over when we’re “out and about.” So we can quickly feel bombarded by sights and sounds and smells and textures.

Also, HSPs are wired with emotional intensity and powerful empathy, which means we experience our own emotions — and the emotions of others — strongly.

So, that can mean anything from saying something truly awkward at a party and getting hit with internal feelings of self-recrimination (mine show up in my stomach and neck) …

… or it could mean watching a joyous reunion at the airport and getting swept up in the emotions of a family we don’t even know.

So when an HSP travels or attends a big event, we’re “out of our element” AND we’re surrounded by an overwhelming stream of input we can neither predict nor control.

It requires SO much effort and energy for us to stay regulated, and that’s why why we can feel so incredibly depleted and utterly exhausted afterward.

2. Analyze HOW past choices have made travel and big events harder than necessary

Before I knew I was a Highly Sensitive Person, I put enormous effort into pretending to be just like everyone else.

Everyone else could toss a few things into a duffle bag and hop on a plane!

Everyone else could throw together an outfit from their closet and waltz out the door in 5 minutes flat — feeling fabulous!

Everyone else could forage for food at an airport concession stand and vending machines!

Everyone else could stay up late and be just fine the next day after a night of little-to-no sleep!

I used to procrastinate anything related to travel or big events until the last possible minute because I was trying so hard to become spontaneous and carefree like everyone else.

Of course, it back-fired.

BADLY.

Every. Single. Time.

Right before leaving on a trip, I’d panic and over-pack beyond all reason, and then I had to haul my heavy luggage from pillar to post … re-injuring my back and neck.

I’d eat a lot of food my system wasn’t used to, which meant I’d end up with a stomach ache.

And then I’d become so tired, I’d feel like a wax doll that was melting … like I was disintegrating … DIS-integrating … fragmenting into pieces.

HOW-TO = Taking Good Gentle Care of your Future Self

3. Plan for your needs — BEFORE Travel / Big Event

This is where I’m going to give you a bunch of nitty-gritty tips for you to try and customize … but this is not an exhaustive list by any means.

So first, your

Packing List

Make a detailed personal list of everything — and I DO mean everything — you need.

Part of what keeps us regulated is being able to reach for the tools
that work, whether that’s lip balm or sunglasses or a specific type of
tea.

And then, start packing early – give yourself time to discover any gaps that you need to fill.

Clothes

Don’t fall into the trap of taking everything you own so that you’ll have all the choices you need.

(Ask me how I know!)

For the West Coast Christian Writers Conference not long ago, I needed 3 outfits, so I took 4. That allowed me a “wild card” choice. And you know what? I never once thought, “Wow, I really wish I’d hauled everything I own so that I’d have more options to choose from!”

This also prevented Decision Fatigue which is so very real for us over-thinkers (and which probably needs to be the topic of a future episode!)

Shoes (and socks … and slippers!)

COMFORT over CUTE for shoes
Which means NO new shoes. Only take shoes that you know will not HURT YOUR FEET. In other words: shoes that will not injure your HSP body.

When it comes to socks, my vote is always for The World’s Softest Socks. They aren’t cheap, but they live up to their name.

I keep a clean pair IN MY PURSE for the plane!

Fleece-lined boot slippers – which I wear year ‘round,

Reynaud’s Syndrome

Make-Up

I am super proud of what I did before the West Coast Christian Writers Conference. I realized that I hadn’t really worn make-up since before the pandemic started. And everything I had back then had (how shall I say?) been purchased for a younger face with younger skin.

So I started over. I reached out to a trusted consultant for a private make-over. I kept it simple. And I practiced ahead of time so that I had a quick routine … and so I knew if my skin would be okay with the new products, which it was fine.

What I did NOT do was equally important:

I did NOT pack my old bag full of ancient make-up and force myself to somehow make it work. (It wasn’t going to work!)

NOR did I dash out the night before and spend a fortune on a ton of new stuff without any guidance or time to test it out.

In other words, I made sure that my make-up was NOT an additional source of sensory over-stimulation or emotional upheaval.

In fact, because of my planning, it was actually a calming little morning ritual.

Food

I want to tread really lightly when it comes to food, because we women get so many mixed messages and we can end up with so many rigid rules and so much shame.

Knowing your own body’s needs and gently preparing ahead of time to meet those needs — these are beautiful acts of self-stewardship.

I know, for example, that I get shaky if I don’t get protein into me early in the day. So I make that a huge priority.

I know that I’ll end up feeling really sick if I eat a lot of processed food. So I make sure I have access to foods that I know are gentle on my stomach and overall system on travel days.

(Just to be super clear: I do not believe in “bad foods” vs. “good foods.” I do know which foods really mess with my system when I’m traveling. And so one of the ways I take good care of my future self is by saving certain foods for non-travel days.)

Luggage / Computer bag

For the longest time, I used whatever suitcase was available … which usually meant it was a broken down hand-me down. The zippers no longer zipped … the wheels no longer turned (or had ripped off entirely) … you get the picture.

After all, said my Inner Critic, I SHOULD be able to carry it, right?

Now, I have my own suitcases that nobody else in the family will use because they are BRIGHT magenta and purple. 😉 All the zippers work, as do the wheels.

One is a carry-on. My computer bag has a luggage “sleeve” that allows me to slide it right over the handle of my carry-on so I don’t have to carry it on my shoulder. Again – the old “I SHOULD be able to carry a laptop and my Bible and a few books” used to mean my neck and shoulder and back were out of whack before I even got on a plane. No more!

Oh, and I carry a Theraband everywhere so I can stretch my back and work out knots as they flare up.

And I also give myself permission to rent one of those luggage carts. It is worth …

Purse

Think of your purse as your HSP Tool Kit. When my purse was stolen last year, I could not believe how many times I reached for my it in the days between the time it was taken and I was able to get a new one, because I needed my Essential HSP Tools! I ended up carting around a gift bag as a temporary purse.

Make a specific packing list just for your purse. Your list will be different from mine, but I can tell you that lip balm, nail clippers with a file, and sunglasses are TOP on my must-have list.

So, I know that I said that this was “Plan for your needs” … and now i want to give you permission to do something really radical.

I want to give you permission to PRIORITIZE your needs.

Now, I don’t mean making your needs the only needs you care for.

Many of us are used to prioritizing everyone else and having no time or energy left for ourselves.

So it makes sense that we assume that whatever we prioritize gets EVERYTHING and there’s NOTHING left-over.

But that’s not what happens when you prioritize your HSP needs.

When you start prioritizing yourself — by which I simply mean making sure your needs are cared for — you will actually have more time and more energy and greater bandwidth to invest in others, because your HSP brain and body will be functioning so much better!

And that’s all I’m going to say right now … Amy Carroll and I will be having a whole conversation about “self-care” very soon!

4. Advocate for yourself — DURING Travel / Big Event

To illustrate what I mean by “advocate for myself”, let me share a blog post I wrote mid-2023:

What began as “quick 2-block walk” has turned into a 1.5 mile slog across a shadeless bridge in the high-noon sun.

I’m with a group of friends in Chattanooga, Tennessee, on what we later learn is The Hottest Day in All of Recorded Human History.

And I’m facing what feels like a lose-lose scenario:

If I force myself to walk back across the bridge with everyone, I’ll pay for it the rest of the day.

If I don’t, everyone will think I’m a wimp.

Although I’ve lived where summer temperatures rise above 100 degrees much of my life, back home in California I could always say, “At least it’s a dry heat!”

But here in Chattanooga, my body responds to the combination of heat + humidity with alarm: I’m pouring sweat; my heart is racing and skipping beats; my head is throbbing.

I know — from a lifetime of living in this HSP-wired body — that if I attempt the return trip on foot, I will become light-headed and dizzy.

I’m also keenly aware that I’m the only woman in our group who seems to be experiencing any difficulty with the weather.

And I hate being the “odd one out.”

The “snowflake.”

The woman who really should just
suck it up
grin and bear it
do whatever it takes to act “normal”

What I really want to do is call a Lyft.

But I don’t want my friends to think I’m avoiding them.

And I certainly don’t want the group organizer to feel like I’m second-guessing her leadership.

And that’s when it hits me:

This is the perfect time to call a Lyft!

After all, I’ve done a lot of life with these women. They all know I’m a Highly Sensitive Person; I know that they’re responsible for their feelings, not me.

And our leader — she is a truly safe person. She’s done a lot of her own personal work in therapy; I can trust her to honor my need to make my own choice in this situation.

“You guys go on ahead,” I tell them. “I’m going to find a ride and meet you at the coffee shop.”

Nobody looks offended or even surprised as they nod, wave, and head toward the bridge.

And then, right on cue, my Inner Critic shows up:
“Who do you think you are, wasting money like this?”
“You have legs that work perfectly well!”
“Do you think a little sweat is going to kill you?”

But I ignore my Inner Critic and ask:

What is my body telling me right now?

The answer is crystal clear:

Call a Lyft.

And so I do.

For most of my life, I couldn’t make this kind of self-stewardship decision because I was so focused on saving the almighty dollar.

Surely I can suffer for another hour rather than waste hard-earned money.

But I’ve come to realize that there’s always a cost.

Let me say that again:

There’s always a cost.

And for far too long, I underestimated the long-term toll of prioritizing a few dollars over my body’s well-being.

But now that I know better, I can do better.

I can actually listen to the messages my interoceptive system is giving me about what’s going on inside my body.

In the past, I would have ignored the distress signals my body was sending me. Or dissociated from my body altogether.

But part of thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person means intentionally learning to live an embodied life. One where I’m no longer “a head on a stick,” as I used to joke.

Rather, a life in which I am connected to and actively listening to all parts of the HSP body God’s entrusted to me.

Here’s to shutting down your Inner Critic by learning to truly listen to your God-given body, instead.

So just to be clear: When I say “advocate for yourself” or “advocate for myself” I don’t mean acting entitled or expecting others to accommodate my every whim.

I mean advocating for myself WITH MYSELF.

If I’m cold, I no longer listen when my Inner Critic tells me I SHOULD “Just tough it out.” No! I pull out my sweater and put it on and remain within my window of tolerance (rather than dysregulating).

When I’m thirsty, I no longer let Inner Critic shame me for “Wasting SO MUCH MONEY on a bottle of water that’s not even worth 25 cents!” Damaging my body thru dehydration costs WAY more — in other words, it has FAR MORE DAMAGING CONSEQUENCES to my body — than a few dollars.

And with great gentleness, I aim to feed this HSP body God has entrusted to me the way I would tend to an athlete who needs very specific nutrients to make it through the marathon she’s running.

5. Reflect on your learning — AFTER Travel / Big Event

Even before I returned home from the West Coast Christian Writers Conference, I started a Google Doc titled “Post-WCCW Processing.” It’s now got 3 pages of notes.

Here’s just a few things in there:

Get there 1 FULL day earlier?
Time to get the “lay of the land” — as an HSP, I love context. I love to know my “ins and outs” … I love to know where the bathrooms are.
Solve any Air BnB problems

AirBnB SITUATION
Let’s just say that there is a STORY to tell …
Amy and I are going to talk ALL about it in a future episode!

PHOTOS
Be intentional about getting group photos and photos with friends!

THE DAY AFTER
Stay one full day later to pray-cess

The CRINGE Factor

Add to Packing List
Small water bottle
Travel-only misting bottle

The point, here, is to take some time to reflect on:
what worked,
what didn’t work,
what you’d like to do differently next time, and
what you need to do ASAP so that next time can be different.

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Now something that happens almost every time I travel or attend a big event is that I start feeling a pervasive sense of being misplaced, lost, fragile, even unsafe.

For most of my life, back when I didn’t know that being an HSP is a thing, this feeling used to throw me for a complete tailspin. I can’t tell you how many trips I cut short or parties I left, rushing home in a panic.

Now I know that even the best of trips or events can cause an HSP to feel disoriented and depleted.

Lacking familiar context, we can become homesick and even feel that we are disintegrating.

I’ve come to rely on ANCHOR verses more than ever when I’m away from home. They hold me steady thru the inevitable waves of overwhelm that come crashing over me when I’m on the go. To borrow a metaphor from Shakespeare, God’s word is our North Star:

“It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark”

And the Psalmist reminds us that no after how far we travel, we never leave God behind.

Psalm 139:7-10 (NIV) says:

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

God is with you wherever you go; in His presence, you are ALWAYS Home.

If you’d like to learn more about ANCHOR verses, “How to Quickly Calm Your Overwhelmed Heart” is a super-short self-paced eCourse that teaches you 6 Strategies to ANCHOR Yourself in God’s Word
Imagine knowing how to intentionally…
… respond to challenges with Biblically-based strategies.
… train your brain to reach for Truth to quiet your heart.
… bypass overwhelm by ANCHORing yourself in God’s word.
… rely on Jesus to be the Strength of your tender heart.
Overwhelm may be a natural reaction, but it’s not your only option.

You can learn to quickly calm your overwhelmed heart!

Head to https://CheriGregory.com/calm/

Thank you for listening to Grit ‘n’ Grace – The Podcast for Highly Sensitive Christian Women!

I hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged and equipped to thrive, especially when you travel or attend big events.

Be sure to follow in your favorite podcast app and share this episode with a friend!
If you’re brand new to the whole HSP concept, come take the “Am I a Highly Sensitive Person?” quiz — you’ll find that link in the show notes.
And remember: God created you sensitive; in Christ, you are always strong.