{10 Days of Proverbs 31} Too Many Wrongs Don’t Make Rude Right

“She is clothed with strength and dignity…” Proverbs 31:25(a)

I’m blowing it.

Exiting my mouth are the wrong words. Said in the wrong tone. Spoken with the wrong attitude.

I’m blowing it. Big time.

I’m reacting to someone less than half my age with neither strength nor dignity.

Quite the opposite, actually. My words started at petty, declined to self-righteous, and are now careening down to face-saving.

I’m ignoring Fred Jones’ most basic rule of relating to students: When in doubt, say nothing.

I’m blowing it. Again.

Why, after almost 45 years, am I doing this, yet again? Babbling words I haven’t pondered, that I don’t even mean, but can not seem to stop myself from verbalizing?

Why can’t I just think my reactions, on the inside, rather than making them so unflatteringly, humiliatingly, mortifyingly public?

I should have seen it coming. All my pet triggers were aligning against me: stress + confusion + the sense that I’m being threatened, mocked, or disrespected.

I should have paused to collect my thoughts. To reflect. To check my perceptions. To receive alternate viewpoints.

But, no, my mouth opens. And words that should stay in the privacy of my own mind spill out in real time for an audience.

At a target.

In this case, it’s a student, but it could just as easily be my husband or children.

Over at the M.O.M. Initiative, Teri Lynne Underwood opens her blog post “Are You a Polite Parent?” with this question:

“What if submission begins with simply being polite?”

Oh, I’d like to consider myself a polite parent, teacher, and spouse.

But at times like this – when I’m in “fire! ready, aim” mode – I know I am anything but. I am not “clothed in strength and dignity.” Instead of laughing at the future, I am a laughingstock.

When I’m rude like this, I exhibit a “me-first” attitude, acting as if I am “god.”

Oh, to learn, once and for all, the lesson of Psalm 46:10(a), which does not say, “React immediately and stand up for yourself!” nor does it say, “Open your mouth and demolish the enemy!”

In the NIV, Psalm 46:10(a) says,“Be still and know that I am God.”

Other translations word it, “Cease striving and know that I am God”(NAS) and “Let go [of your concerns]! Then you will know that I am God.” (GOD’S WORD)

Be still = to let fall…to be relaxed…not making an effort…not putting forth exertion…being without anxiety.

I say I want to be relaxed. Exertion-free. Without anxiety.

Yet when prime opportunities arise for me to be still, to cease striving, to let go, I barrel forward at breakneck speed to take out my opponent.

I need a new target.

A new goal. An entirely different paradigm, actually: One in which the pause to be polite becomes my “knee-jerk” reaction.

I need to practice the pause. I need to create safe space for reflection. (Click to Tweet this.)

Politeness – responding to people with strength and dignity – must become more important than my so-called “rightness.”

Today, may I practice politeness and, in so doing, know that You are God…my only true Strength.