Warm-Up Day 3: Tunnel of Grudge or New Train of Thought?
I’m a grudge-holder.
Not your common every day average grudge-holder.
No way.
If grudge-holding were an olympic sport, I’d be the gold medalist and world record holder.
I vividly remember
- The best friend who moved, promising we’d write. I wrote; she didn’t.
- The best friend who dumped me, saying, “I’m not losing anything, I’m throwing it away, because that’s what you do with trash.”
- The best friend who stole my boyfriend and then kept coming to me for relationship advice.
And that’s just 4th-8th grade! (There’s a BFF theme here, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post!)
Daniel and I married young, so I quickly adapted my BFF grudge-holding skills into DH grudge-holding skills.
He’d say something in five short seconds that I could rehearse, mull, and stew over for hours, days, weeks, months, and even years!
Tunnel Thinking
On my own,
- I think how valid my point of view truly is.
- I think how noble my intentions were.
- I think how right I (almost) always am.
- I think how pure my motives have (usually) been.
- I think how lovely it would be for everyone to agree with me!
- I think how much I love having people admire me; seeing “excellent!” written at the top of my papers; being praised for my accomplishments.
On my own, I think me, my, I.
On my own, I think self.
On my own, I am self–ish.
A New Train of Thought
Philippians 4:8 offers a radically different way of thinking:
Finally, brothers,
whatever is true,
whatever is noble,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable–
whatever is excellent or praiseworthy–
think on these things.
Get on Board!
We can stay in the dark tunnel of self, nursing grudges.
We can rehearse thinking “poor me” and “oh my” and “If only I.”
We can throw ourselves a pity party (which isn’t much of a party, as nobody brings gifts and the entertainment is terrible!)
Or we can jump on board and get moving from where we are now to where God wants us to be. Where He has plans for us to be. Where He is eagerly anticipating us to be.
We can’t do both. We have to choose:
The seemingly “safe” tunnel of grudge-holding?
or
A no-baggage-needed adventure on a new train of thought?
Reflect and Respond
- What does Philippians 4:8 say to you?
- What grudge would you leave behind, once and for all, during The PURSE-onality Challenge?
Yes, I have a few choice grudges. I assure myself that I have forgiven these people, but it still rankles, so I know it’s not over in my head!
I have always thought, I am not a grudge holder, no no no no that is my hubby. Well, truth is baby I am the Queen! Phil 4:8 I am pushing myself to a new land Queen of finding the good in people,situation, opportunity to see the world in a new view. It is hard work but I am ready!
The question for me should be “what grudge wouldn’t I leave behind?”…I have times when I don’t think I’m a grudge holder, then things come up and I realize I’m holding grudges – lots of them – big ones, little ones, stupid ones, ones that shouldn’t even be an issue. Phil 4:8 calls us to focus on all the good. If I am looking for the good in everyone, in every situation, I won’t have time to focus on the negative. 🙂
Phil 4:8 is posted several places in our home. It is our measuring stick for what we watch and read.
I don’t feel like I’m a grudge holder as much as I am a “you’ve disappointed me before, so why wouldn’t you again” person! I’m a very forgiving person, but forgetting is my problem. I recently made a beautiful canvas piece of artwork for my oldest daughters room with Phil. 4:8 on it, I think I need to look at it every morning before I even try to wake her from her slumber so that I will have a reminder to think only of those things rather than all of the things I’ve got to accomplish or that I need my kids to accomplish for the day! The past 3 days of scriptures have been put before me a lot (as I mentioned on day 1)….. thank you Jesus for your gentle & constant reminders of the areas of my life that I’ve GOT to work on!!!
I don’t really hold grudges to much. At least not in the sense of thinking about it and thinking it through again ect but I can continue to learn to let go and forgive.
– Iris
Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite verses in the bible. I think we should constantly make an effort to think on the good things (Satan works through society and the media by constantly trying to fill our minds and hearts with all sorts of stuff that is anything but what Philippians 4:8 speaks of).
I’m not a grudge holder…a strength perhaps. I think all the qualities in this verse can be summed up in one word…God. I we are always thinking of God these qualities will follow.
I think harsh, judgemental thoughts of others. I have started to recognize this and am more likely to nt say them out loud, but i would love to stop thinking them altogether!
I am not always thinking the right things. I do more damage internally, than things that I actually say or do. I need to keep Philippians 4:8 close by to remember that.
This is so common for us women !! Keeping a mental list of the wrongs that have been done! Making it so hard to forgive. I’m grateful our Father is better at this than us! I thrive on His forgiveness, it’s def time for a change
Often tell myself I need to memorize this verse. I have many years ago…it’s time to re learn. God’s ways are so much better than mine!! A grudge I want to let go of is one of feeling gypped big time by our contractor and everytime I see the crappy jobs he did I get all worked up.
Wow, God is gracious with us! I cannot even begin to share how many grudges I’ve held in my life, whether purposely or not. Either way, this message of encouragement has helped me reevaluate what I hold in my heart….and mind. I need to be intentional on true forgiveness, and truly letting go. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
It tells me not to dwell on the negative but on the good things. I dwell on my failed marriage and hold a grudge there.
Grudges are yuck…..I didnt think I held a grudge but when I really really thought about it ….I do …and I so agree with Kasondra…but I have learned to give that to God…he takes me for who I am he forgave me I need to forgive and let go…and grudges …even the smallest can creep up on you or maybe I should say Satan knows how to use it ..so why let him when …away with a grudge (satan) let Jesus shine thru…
Task this week …deal with the grudge and send it packing!!
opps I mean WIN why let Satan WIn…
Day three… speechless. All of it is good, all of it is applicable, all of it is necessary. Deap breath…
~J Thompson
I hold grudges against myself…I replay my own mistakes and pitfalls. Yes, even from as far as childhood.
I need to commit Phil 4:8 to memory and dwell on it throughout the day. When a thought comes to my mind or words come to my mouth, I need to line them up with God’s word and see if they meet the criteria in this scripture before I express them.
I didn’t think I held grudges until reading this post. I guess I do replay conversations in my head at times and dwell on them when I should let them go. I never treat a person on the outside like I have a grudge against them, but I guess in my heart I sometimes hold a grudge.
Ashley