TPC "lite": Short cry for HELP! (Found my stack of Thank You notes!)
Two practical blog posts resulted from this one:
So, this isn’t a real blog post.
It’s a cry for help.
Here’s what I found during my 15 minutes of desk de-cluttering today:
I did not photograph the envelopes with addresses and postage from…er…previous decades. (There is such a thing as too much transparency, right?!?)
I’ve bought cards. Made cards. Designed cards (the bottom four are even my daughter’s photography–where is my maternal pride?!?)
Yet I’ve not written a real thank you in…who knows. Probably decades.
I know my “baditude” right now: guilt.
But what to do?
Give up and just throw them all away in recognition that I’m not the thank you note “type”?
But I am.
I love receiving hand-written notes. I believe in the grand ideal of hand-written notes.
But my belief is not translating to my behavior.
So something needs to change.
Trashing the note cards to get rid of guilt would be a quick and easy change.
But it would also be a cop out.
This guilt isn’t just self-condemnation. This is conviction.
So, I’m seeking guidance and wisdom from my sisters.
If you’re a note-writer, how do you do it? I know that sounds like a dumb question, but I mean it seriously: Tell us how and when and why and where…give it to us step-by-step, especially your thinking process and intentional choices.
This may be “no duh” obvious to many of you, but trust me: for some of us, it’s baffling.
Paul said it so well:
“I don’t really understand myself,for I want to do what is right,but I don’t do it.Instead, I do what I hate.“(Romans 7:15)
I hate looking at all my unused note cards. Of themselves, they are not a moral issue. But for me, the principles of selflessness and gratitude they represent are character issues.
Bless us with your best advice, wisdom, guidance, experience, input, etc. in the Comments!
My mother is THE notecard queen. I’m not even kidding. She is so good at writing notes, I should pay her to write mine for me. lol. I however, like you (is it a Sanguine thing?) have a hard time getting the finished, sealed, and stamped card into the mail. I write the note, I address the envelope, I stamp it, and then it sits waiting for me to take it to the mailbox. And then it gets lost in my other stacks of “To Do” projects… Embarrassing for me, for sure. Unrealistic bar probably factors in here, too.
My mom has a calendar with birthdays, anniversaries, and other notes – boxes of cards – and then she just gets it done. It’s something she does – and maybe you need an assistant to get the ready envelopes TO the mailbox?
Queen Mommy — My mom is the same way! Melancholy to the point that BDay cards are mailed to arrive ON birthdays. As a Sanguine (yes, I think a LOT of this is a “Sanguine thing”!!!) this was an “unrealistic bar” for me. So, as an all-or-nothing thinker…you can write the rest of the script!
I LOVE your idea of having an assistant actually mail the cards — my Melancholy husband would happily do that for me! And I, as a Choleric, am trying to ask for h…h…help more often. So it would be good for both of us.
Thank about the friend/acquaintance/stranger that you want to thank; think about the gratitude you are feeling toward them; and think again about how you feel when you receive a hand written thank you note, even of just one sentence… take a moment for the opportunity to reach out and offer this blessing to another.
Great reminder. I’ve been so self-ish in this department, I’ve not really appreciated receiving thank you notes let alone thought about how others might feel when they receive one from me. Relying on God for change in this specific area and all it represents!
Romans 7:15 says it all, for all of us at one point or another. Great post. Its got me thinking about those things I want to do, but don’t.
Murray — You’re so right…Romans 7:15 (and beyond!) says at all! At least for me in my daily issues.
Oh my goodness. I am so guilty of this too. I buy cards. Pretty cards. And I really do intend to send them. But then I find them. Months later. Sometimes years. Still blank. So I’m afraid I don’t have any advice. But I’m right there with you. I wonder if my procrastination has anything to do with the fact that I set the bar unrealistically high ~ like trying to send out dozens of hand-written cards at a time. Maybe one way to overcome the blank-card-business is to just send one this week. And then maybe one next week.
I’m going to She Speaks. I hope to meet you there! 🙂
Denise — You’ve hit on something VITAL with “I wonder if my procrastination has anything to do with the fact that I set the bar unrealistically high.” All-or-nothing thinking has been my BFF for FAR too long!!!
Yay that you’re going to She Speaks! Writing or Speaking track?!? We’ll have to make a point to get f-2-f! 🙂
I used to be really good at getting thank you cards off but haven’t done as well in the last few years. When I was good at it…I would write the note right away and then address it and put the stamp on it and put it in my purse. That was the only way I would remember to bring it with me and get it to the post office. In the past I’ve come across notes that I had written out that I never mailed off but when I found them I wrote a note on a post it and put it inside the card and still sent it apologizing for not getting it sent off but wanted them to know that I really did appreciate the gift.
Kristina — Thanks for sharing your routine…it’s becoming clear that an intentional routine is the key! And I LOVE your willingness to humble yourself by sending the late card…to focus on the recipient rather than your own (possible) embarrassment!
Ditto the certain day of the week strategy. I have that set time for that certain activity. And I keep all the stamps and cards and my address book in one place so it’s that much easier. 🙂
I will say that I still struggle with getting out a bunch of thank-you’s all at the same time. Like after a birthday or whatever… :\
But if I didn’t have my strategy, it would happen WAY less! ;p
Sarah — Address book! I knew I was forgetting something important! Now for that stack after an event…hmmm…
I send out my written notes on Monday. I have a stationery box with my cards (various types) and list of recipients. It is a great way to start the week and the recipient’s usually receive the card by week’s end. I send plenty of email and texts but there is nothing like receiving a card/note in the mail. It brightens everyone’s day.
Jeanette — A specific day of the week! What an amazing concept! And I am NOT being sarcastic…it’s literally never occurred to me. I love your intentionality in mailing them so that they’ll be received during the week. (And the list is becoming a recurring theme!)
I am also one with a lot of great intentions but never the follow through. Is it a fear of being successful? A fear of looking like we have it together when we know we don’t? A fear of what people might think our motives are behind what we are doing? Hmmmm….I’m sure this list could go on and on. Crazy to think how much fear can be hidden away without even realizing it.
Jennifer — Get your own brain! I was just pray-pondering this while making a spinach quiche…my motives and coming across as “fake” surfaced…fear of doing it right “this time” but not “next time” (by sending nothing at all, at least I’m consistent — wow, Cheri, pride at consistently doing nothing?!?)
“Crazy to think how much fear can be hidden away without even realizing it.” SO well put. For me, this is why my clutter stays where it is. I’ve been too scared to move it and let all the fear it contains escape. Doing it with God and some great girlfriends isn’t nearly as bad as doing it alone!
I keep small, simple note cards by my bed, in my desk, next to my “quiet time” chair, in my car, in my desk at work, and in my Bible. I often think about someone when I’m praying, or writing out a check for a fund-raiser, or driving, or whatever………..so, by having note cards within reach, I can write a quick note while waiting in the carpool line, before I go to sleep, or even during my husband’s message (only because I attend two – four of our services each weekend, and I think of (or see) LOTS of needs while I’m at church and between services; I don’t write notes during my FIRST service of the weekend!) Haha! Blank, small notecards are best for me so that I don’t feel like I have to write a lot, and they work for any occasion. A short, hand-written note means as much or more, I’ve discovered, as an expensive store-bought large, flowery card that I simply sign. Also, I buy my stamps by mail because it seems I can never get down to the post office during business hours and it’s so convenient to have them mailed to my house. If I don’t have stamps on hand, notes never get mailed!
Gena — Such a WEALTH of practical ideas all in one place! Love your strategies and the reasons behind them. SO helpful! Love your intentionality in noticing needs…and getting stamps in the way that works for you!
my desk could use a declutter
Heya Apple Blossom — Just “a” declutter? You’re lucky! (LOL) Actually, that’s the way to look at it…”a declutter” today…”a declutter” tomorrow… if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what could “a declutter” a day do for our desks?
Buy pretty cards, or use the ones you already have :-). Keep them in your car or purse with a stamp already on the envelope and jot the note. Even if I don’t have the address with me, I’ll work to get it because I won’t want to waste the stamp. Lol. You can find almost anyone’s mailing address at http://www.whitepages.com, unless they have a po box. Then you don’t have to feel embarrassed to ask them for it. (Emily Bradford May via Facebook)
In the car or in my purse pre-stamped…taking notes feverishly…whitepages.com…learn something new and useful every day! Thank you SO much, Emily!
This isn’t helpful, but I am very interested in these comments as i am in the same boat!
JRA — Knowing I’m not alone, that we’re not alone, is helpful…especially when we can gently encourage each other’s growth! From the five comments this morning (yours included!) I’ve already gotten 8 bullet points and several questions I’ll be praying about throughout the day…so blessed so soon! 🙂
I have thank you cards, thinking of you cards, sympathy cards — all sorts of cards that I made, wrote the note, addressed the envelope — and then, nadda, nothing. They are lying in a drawer never to be seen by the person that it was intended for. I’d love to know the secret as well! I guess it should make me feel better to think I’m not the only one that does this, but no — convicted to the utmost! Hospitality is definitely not my spiritual gift! Still not an excuse!
Gloria — I am the same way! I start out so well — addressing the envelope, putting on the return label and stamp…and then stop…or I even write the note and then don’t mail. I’m praying the Holy Spirit will shed light on the “baditude” under all this…I’m thinking it’s fear again, but a fear of what?
I used to be better at hand written notes than I am right now, but I have spurts. One year, I even picked one special person in my life (each month) and sent her/him a thank you for all that they did and for making my life special. I did one a month (that’s do-able) and hope that I made them feel as special as they made me feel. Took just a couple of minutes each month.
Jena — What a lovely, intentional idea! Once a month is certainly do-able! And a couple of minutes — why do I tell myself it’s going to take an hour?!? 😉
I’m not very good at thank you notes. I have them but rarely seem to get around to using them.
Gingeroo616 at aol dot com
Stacy — totally understand “rarely seem to get around to using them”! There has to be a gentle way to turn this around…
I usually try to write a thank you note right after a gift or service is received, or I write the person’s name down on my send card list and do it within a few days. If I don’t do this, I won’t remember until weeks later, and then feel like it is too late to send one.
Colleen — your “send card list”? What a great idea!