Top Ten Things We’ve Done Right as Parents

Mid-life isn’t treating Daniel kindly. He’s taking every immature choice of our college-aged kids personally, asking, “What did I do wrong?”

Last night I told him, “I need a list of ten things we’ve done right as parents.”

“10? As in the fingers on both hands?” he asked incredulously. Then, with a snort of cynicism, he said, “I married you. That’s my one.”

I insisted he wasn’t getting off so easily with a cop-out, no matter how endearing. And after just a few minutes of brainstorming, he was surprised — and I think a bit relieved! — by the following Top Ten Things We’ve Done Right As Parents.

Top Ten Things We’ve Done Right As Parents

10) Family Reading Time. I heard Jim Trelease speak at the Discovery Toys National Convention when Annemarie was four and Jonathon was two. I came home, shared the data with Daniel, and we started reading an hour or more aloud each evening as a family.

We didn’t stop when the kids learned to read on their own. And we continued when our lap-sized kiddos became couch-filling teenagers. In fact, they’re coming home this weekend, and top on our list of family time activities is reading Funny in Farsai together, out loud.

9) Outdoor Time Together. We took a lot of walks together around the neighborhood. Due to scorching Southern California summer temperatures, this often meant getting up at the crack of dawn during the summer rather than sleeping in.

We went up to Mill Creek in the San Bernardino Mountains and spent entire afternoons building dams. We hiked Mount Waterman with our dogs. We weren’t into team sports or anything that cost money — our kids have skied only once! — but we did regularly get outside to enjoy nature as a family.

8) Furry Family Members. Daniel and I had three cats and two dogs before Annemarie came along. Considering how much we doted on Munchkin, Mischief, Meeka, Mon Cherie, and Madonna, she was pretty much Child #6.

To our kids, it’s normal to have two (preferably three) cats, and at least one dog. It’s normal to open up a sealed ice cream carton and find cat fur already inside. It’s normal for dark clothes to be covered in white and for white clothes to be covered in black. It’s normal for someone less than 10 pounds to commandeer your bed and dictate your life. It’s normal to care for someone else’s needs several times a day, every single day of the year.

7) Car Talk. Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers, have perpetrated more laughter, floor-rolling, and bathroom dashes than any other family tradition (except, perhaps, Game Night.) We listened religiously, bought and wore out all their CDs, and felt like members of the family had “done good” when they showed up in Cars.

Ask if Daniel has any duct tape, and we’ll all break out in, “Duct tape, oh duct tape, oh where is my duct tape? My old boat is leaking, my windshield is cracked…”

6. Small TV, in the corner, turned off. Daniel and I quit TV cold turkey at 3:57 AM fifteen years ago. We’d watched our favorite evening shows, stayed up past reason to watch Jay Leno, and then gotten sucked into what we thought was an action flick with Charlie Sheen.

Early in the movie, a gorgeous Russian chick tells Charlie that back home, she has a dog with three legs; Charlie is deeply moved by this revelation. Daniel and I howled with derisive laughter…and kept watching. In the final scene, the camera pans down from the Charlie-and-Russian-chick lovebirds to — you guessed it! — a small dog, one leg badly airbrushed out.

We sat in stunned silence, realizing that we had sacrificed a full night of sleep for — what has since become our catch-phrase for bottoming out in our TV addiction — “a three-legged dog!”

(Stay tuned for #5-1!)

What about you?

What do you feel you’ve “done right” as a parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle, teacher, adult mentor?