Practioner-Researcher or Amateur Experimenter?

I stumbled upon the Facebook page for my school’s Class of 2010 last night. Very little activity there…maybe 10 comments from the anonymous founder.

But one caught my eye and headed straight for my heart: “No more ENGLISH (being the experiments.)”

Following the wisdom of one of Jim’s Burke’s recent blog posts (“It’s Not Bad, It’s Just Information”) I’m trying to step back and see this as data rather than a personal attack. If I knew exactly which student posted it, I’d have some relational context for better interpreting it. I might even be able to completely blow it off.

But I can’t, because I know it is — at least in part — the truth.

They were only my second class of seniors…ever. My first ten years of teaching were with junior high. Then eight years with sophomores. I’d taught this class when they were sophomores, so I was actually eager to have them back as seniors. I anticipated a great year of English II reunion: They’d all just be a bit bigger and more interesting, and I could take them to the next level as readers, writers, speakers, and generally literate human beings.

Actually, they were a bit bigger and a lot less interesting. These same kids who couldn’t shut up two years prior either sat in stoney silence when I tried to get a good discussion going or plunged into caustic “debate”. Many read little, if at all. Many wrote nothingness. I spent the year beating myself up because I was clearly failing them during this vital final year of their high school education.

So, yes, I experimented. I tried Socratic Circles. I tried “This I Believe” essays. I tried multi-genre responses to literature. Pretty much everything I tried was something I’d never done before…at least in that particular way with these particular students.

Frankly, it’s my favorite part about teaching: every year is totally new. Even though I’ve been through Fahrenheit 451 20+ times, I’ve never experienced it with these students. This year is the one and only time I’ll learn Hamlet with these students.

I see my teaching role as that of co-learner. I’m not compelled to look or sound like the expert in the classroom. So I didn’t pretend that we were doing things I was an “old pro” at doing. I couldn’t tell them “You’re going to do X and then Y will happen and finally Z” because I honestly had no idea how “X” was going to work. I’ve always adjusted my classroom practices to adapt to what is actually happening with the students. Sometimes, what actually happens matches what I’d hoped would happen, and we stay “on schedule.” But sometimes, I realize we need to “try, try again.” Or perhaps I even need to fall back and punt.

Does this mean I’m treating my students as experiments?

And why am I so irked by that word?

Is it the connotation that after two decades in the classroom, I still don’t know what I’m doing…I’m an amateur, a hack, a wannabe?

Or is it the implication that after pouring my life into teaching, I still don’t connect with my students…I’m detached, aloof, inhuman?

If this Facebook post is a piece of data, how do I analyze it? And to what conclusion do I come?