Instead of How-To…
“We have so little ability to imagine the consequences of our actions. We act without thinking about where an action will take us. We step out of God’s plan into a world of our own making with our own sad choices and shoddy reasoning. We experience death in a thousand ways each day as we flounder around looking for that place where everything comes together exactly as we think it should. We are still looking for Eden.”
I Blame Eve:Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes bySusanna Foth Aughtmon
Tell Me the How-To
For decades, I’ve been begging God for the instruction manual for my life. I’ve longed to open up Cheri for Dummies and start with “Step 1…”
Just tell me the how-to, and I’ll gladly go do!
During 2012, God’s been fulfilling His Ezekiel 36:26 promise to me:
And I will give you a new heart,and I will put a new spirit in you.I will take out your stony, stubborn heartand give you a tender, responsive heart.
But not through how-to’s.
Instead, it’s been via dozens of not to’s.
Not a bunch of burdensome “thou shalt nots.”
Just ordinary everyday not to’s.
The Quiet Power of Not To
I arrive home from the grocery store, bursting to tell Daniel all about the rude cashier and realize, “I could choose not to.”
My daughter’s text message sparks a frustrated, even angry, reply. But before I hit send, I think, “I could choose not to.”
A disagreement with a colleague evokes a reaction of sarcasm and plan for gossip, but then I recognize, “I could choose not to.”
Bottom line?
I’m learning to bite my tongue.
Talk a lot less.
Listen more.
Mess-Maker: Me!
I’m starting to recognize how often I have been the “fool” who “finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing [her] own opinions” that Proverbs 18:2 warns about!
I’ve not imagined the consequences of venting my feelings (after all, that’s who I am and what I do!)
I’ve stepped out of God’s plan by justifying my right to critique (while lamenting that I’m surrounded by negative people!)
Oh, the irony of seeking Eden while floundering in the messes of my own making!
I’m starting to experience the wisdom of “using words with restraint” and being an “even-tempered” woman of understanding (Proverbs 17:27).
Try Not To —> Want Not To
Has it been easy to “not to”?
Not at first.
But to borrow from Hamlet, refraining even once “lends a kind of easiness to the next abstinence,” and then the next is even easier.
After the first few battles with habit, learning not to hasn’t been nearly as hard as I thought it would be.
In fact, the positive results of not complaining, not criticizing, not gossipping, and not lashing out with sarcasm started appearing so quickly, I was pretty shocked at how self-reinforcing it is not to!
When an old “batidude” starts to form, I find myself wanting not to!
When an old “batidude” starts to form, I find myself wanting not to!
So if you’re “looking for that place where everything comes together exactly as [you] think it should,” stop striving for the how-to.
Ask God to reveal, instead, a not to (or two)!
Your Turn:
- What are your habitual ways of “acting without thinking”?
- In what way is your current situation a “world of your own making”?
- How do you “flounder around looking for that place where everything comes together exactly as we think it should”?
- Anything else on your heart!
So much to think about again today. If only we all would choose not to. Your blog posts have been such a blessing in my life. Thank you for following His lead!
So, it’s 3:21 in the morning in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. I’ve been up since about 2:36. Why? I’m not sure. I started going through my email for the day and this blog post was the first I came across, and I needed to read this today! I have been trying to put things in place and wondering why my pieces don’t fit together. i am going to study the scripture in Ezekiel that you referenced to because that is what I need right now. (Oh, it’s Ezekiel 36:26). This blog has been such a blessing to me, I thank God for using you, and I thank you for allowing Him to do so. 🙂