I Follow Rules Stupid
“I like pretending I am good. I have trouble looking past people’s sins and caring for them in spite of themselves. It is easier for me to judge than to love. And it is easier to follow my own rules than to listen for God’s direction in my life.”
Susanna Foth Aughtmon, I Blame Eve:Freedom from Perfectionism, Control Issues, & the Tendency to Listen to Talking Snakes
Rule Follower
I’ve never been a rebel.
The closest I came to teenage rebellion was cutting my hair short, buying a bright yellow dress, and wearing clip-on ear rings…all in the same month.
Nope, rebellion just wasn’t my style.
I’ve always been a rule-follower: I hate conflict and thrive on community. And community requires rules.
So…
- I show up early for meetings…and cringe for those who walk in late.
- I toss my own trash…and pick up bottles, wrappers, and bags that litterbugs have dropped on the ground.
- I drive under the speed limit…and try not to feel too smug when the law-breaker who blew past me five minutes ago gets pulled over by a CHP.
For most of my life, I’ve thought that my careful rule-following has protected me from untold dangers. Provided me with the best life available.
But the further I’ve ventured from the grip of Perfectionism, the more I see that I’ve followed many rules stupid.
I don’t mean I’ve followed many stupid rules (although I certainly have!)
I mean that far too often, rule-following has been so automatic that I’ve not bothered to think.
Sign Follower
My brother and I had picked up Starbucks on our way to the movie theater where our spouses were saving seats. We were running a bit late, so we parked and run-walked inside.
As we handed our tickets to the ushers, I noticed a sign that said, in big bold letters, “NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR BEVERAGES ALLOWED.”“Oh no!” I said, pointing to the sign. “We have to drink these fast or throw them away!
As we handed our tickets to the ushers, I noticed a sign that said, in big bold letters, “NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR BEVERAGES ALLOWED.”“Oh no!” I said, pointing to the sign. “We have to drink these fast or throw them away!
My brother gave me an I’d Like To Throw You Away look and said,
“We ‘have to’ now because you opened your big mouth. They were going to let us walk right on in with them!”
Duh.
I’d had no prick of conscience; I been in no moral quandary. I’d simply found a rule to mindlessly follow, costing us two perfectly lovely mochas. (And earning me the wrath–okay, the endless teasing–of my brother!)
That’s following rules stupid.
Recipe Follower
For Father’s Day several years ago, I was beyond excited to try a copycat recipe for The Cheesecake Factory’s Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes, one of Daniel’s favorite food.
I followed the instructions for the Salsa Verde, the Pico De Gallo, and the Southwestern Sauce with ease.
But the Tamale Cakes? Nothing but trouble!
The recipe called for 1½ cups of frozen sweet corn. The instructions said (and I quote) to “coarsely puree 1 cup of the frozen corn in a food processor.”
So, I dutifully pulled the bag of corn from the freezer, measured 1 cup, dumped it in the blender, and hit “on.” It made an awful racket, and the puree was really hard to scrape out.
The instructions then said (and I continue to quote) to “combine pureed corn with softened butter, sugar, and salt.”
I used my electric hand mixer, and within seconds, the beaters were clogged with corn puree and hardened butter.
I wrestled with this mixture for the better part of an hour before I got it all blended, pattied, and baked into little cakes.
What went wrong? I followed the rules…er…recipe! Why had it been so hard?
Hard…as in softened butter meeting frozen corn puree.
Duh.
I’d followed the instructions exactly as written, not bothering think through the logistics of (a) trying to puree frozen corn or (b) softened butter reacting to frozen corn puree.
If I’d thought for even half a second, I would have thawed the corn before pureeing it, saving myself a bunch of time and frustration. But I didn’t think. I just followed.
That’s following rules stupid.
Do/Don’t Follower
I won’t tell you stories of all the churchy “do”s I’ve been sure to do and all the churchy “don’t”s I’ve been careful not to do.
I will tell you that all my do-and-don’t following brought me to my 40s joyless, bitter, and resentful.
That’s following rules stupid.
(Worse, that’s Phariseeism, and Christ has things to say about Pharisees that make my brother’s annoyance seem like glee!)
Jesus Follower
Jesus says, “Follow me.”
Two simple words. (Click to Tweet this.)
- Not about “do”s and “don’t”s.
- Not about a recipe.
- Not about a sign.
- Not about rules.
All about a relationship.
Your Turn:
- In what areas are you a rule-follower?
- How have you followed rules stupid?
- Anything else on your heart!
Wanted to stop by from Simply Me’s linky and leave some love.
I wipe down the messy wet counters in public bathrooms and airplanes.
I never break traffic laws – EVER.
But I do sneak food into the movie theatre in my purse. My husband made me do it. And I felt really guilty about it, too.
I’ve always said that Judaism appeals to me – it’s lots of do’s and don’t’s and I CAN DO THAT! This live by grace stuff…way harder.
I’m honestly having a really hard time hearing this… Loving God, following Jesus are the top priority- but that doesn’t negate following the rules. I would prefer to know the rules and follow them rather than strive for ignorance (in reference to your movie theater experience).
It seems to me that “following the rules” is highly synonymous with living a holy, righteous life. I’m not referring to my standing with God, but to the way I reflect Him to this world.
I, for one, don’t think I can agree with you on this one. (And that’s okay with me – I just thought I should put this out there) 🙂
For most of my life I’ve followed the rules exactly. Now at age 34 I’m realizing that it’s okay to bend the rules every now and then. My parents were very strict. If I didn’t follow the rules I would get into trouble. If my parents said to be home by 9 pm I knew I better be inside the house by 8:50 pm. Even at college where I had more freedom I couldn’t get myself to break any rules. It was very ingrained in me to follow the rules. i always felt like I needed to look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. Crazy! I’m very thankful that the man that is now my husband of 14 years was brought into my life! He is an amazing man and I don’t know where I would be in life if God had not brought him into my life.
Wow! what a lesson… I believe I too am a rule follower, and yet not to say I have not broken BIG rules to my disgrace (and I mean it). Yet, I also don’t feel “free” if you know what I mean. And so many times, the relationship, rule following, etc… etc… kind of ends up in a blob of gray. I was also brought up in a very strict family, I am in an unequally spiritually yoked marriage, and that makes following the rules, and expecting others even my kids to follow them even more difficult. And many times it is a bit joyless. I need to learn something new! Right now I am reading through the gospels trying to really understand JESUS and how He lived.
Oh my. I may not be an exact rule follower…I adjust recipes and earned a speeding ticket last year…
BUT I still expect others to do the same…to have the same convictions as me. And that is just wrong. We have freedom in Christ…
Thank you!