Healthy Marriages Major in History (NOT Math) Part I
Think about a high school math class: What does the teacher put on the board every day?
Problems!
What is the math textbook filled with?
Problems!
What do students have for homework each night?
Problems!
And what is the goal with all these problems?
Solve them!
In contrast, think about a high school history class. What does the teacher discuss in class?
Facts!
What is the history textbook filled with?
Facts!
What do students memorize for quizzes?
Facts!
And how do we approach history facts? Do we try to somehow “solve” them? Do we try to change Independence Day from July 4 to, say, May 28?
Of course not.
We know that we can’t “solve” facts. When it comes to facts, our goal is to accept them, understand them, and learn from them.
History vs. Math
So why do I say that a healthy marriage majors in history, not math?
Because one thing I’m (finally!) learning is that no matter how I may be feeling at the moment, my husband is never “a problem”!
He does not need me to “solve” him.
“Math mode” simply does not work for marriage.
“History habits,” on the other hand, strengthen our marriage.
My husband is a living, breathing, walking, talking collection of facts. And he needs me to accept him, understand him, and learn from him.
What does this look like in day-to-day living?
Tomorrow, I’ll demonstrate the contrast between living in “math mode” and practicing “history habits”!
(Click here to read Part 2.)
The math analogy works here as well because what you call ‘problems’ are also known as ‘exercises’ that should be ‘worked’ on to gain ‘understanding’.
But I do agree with your overall point.
Ah, but what makes history fun is that it’s not a collection of facts at all. It’s an interpretation of remembered perceptions.
I’d run with the concept of meteorology: your partner is like the weather. Sometimes you get a wonderful sunny day, other times you have thunder and lightning. Whatever the weather is, you can’t change it, but you can change how you meet it.
Hmmmm … does anybody have a sarcasm umbrella I can use?
Chemistry holds some beautiful metaphors…
I agree with the math part, but I’m not sure about history either. It is a bad idea to bring up the past history too much, especially when mad. “This is the fourth time you’ve done this” may be a fact. And it is even math. But don’t ask me for a better subject. Good chemistry?
What an interesting analogy! I look forward to reading your next post on this!
Keeping in mind that God’s last word to the church on marriage is Ephesians 5:33 ” Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – little can affect one without the other – lest you forget this, history will repeat itself!