Day 9: NEW
The impossible happened: I enjoyed lunch.
- I didn’t count calories.
- I didn’t obsess over whether to order “just a salad” or an entree.
- I didn’t play with my food and take it to go, nor did I scarf it all down.
For the first time in 5 years, I simply enjoyed lunch.
No old tapes played. No old behaviors cropped up. Even as I realized all this, three hours after the meal, no anxiety arose to choke my joy.
Free.
Finally free!
My old life of compulsive eating/starving, calorie charts and weight logs, self-centered obsessing, all gone.
A new life had begun!
Become a New Person
(Can’t see image? Click here for 2 Corinthians 5:17)
On Day 7, I shared my story of how Christ set me free from the eating disorder that was destroying me.
While I hoped for change the night I surrendered my life to Christ, I knew I’d changed the day I went out to lunch with my boss.
- I hadn’t been trying not to think about calories.
- I hadn’t been trying not to obsess over the menu.
- I hadn’t been trying to eat slowly without overstuffing myself.
I simply enjoyed lunch.
I knew I was new!
What New People Do
The verse just before today’s says
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view.
2 Corinthians 5:16a
When we are new, we stop accusing and start accepting.
When we are new, we run from contempt and toward compassion.
And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:18a
We didn’t do any of this on our own.
It’s all a gift: Forgiveness. Freedom. New life.
And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:19b
Yet another gift: reconciliation
So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, ‘Come back to God!’
2 Corinthians 5:20
Do New People …?
Complaining doesn’t seem to fit under the heading “What New People Do.”
Neither does criticizing.
Or gossipping.
Or sarcasm.
Ambassadors don’t need self-defense strategies.
Especially when the victory is already won!
A New Way
Relating to others (especially people who get on my nerves!) without complaining+ is still very new to me.
You’ve heard that it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill? Well, I’m a lot closer to 1,000 than 10,000 hours!
And yet, I’ve been blessed with such clear results already.
I have a student–we’ll call her Tracy–who has gotten on my nerves for several years. She’s so Choleric, with zero desire to please, and not an ounce of tact. Anything she doesn’t like, she verbalizes immediately, loudly, and very publicly.
Within the first week of school this year, she was pushing my buttons:
“Mrs. Gregory, WHY DO WE HAVE TO… I DON’T THINK IT’S FAIR THAT…YOU’RE WRONG ABOUT…”
And I reacted poorly: I went on the defense, babbled like an idiot, and felt stupid afterward.
By the end of first quarter, I was sick and tired. Not just of Tracy, but of the relentless negativity ruling my heart, dominating my mind, and spewing from my mouth.
I decided to try something I hadn’t done since I was a child earning gold stars: memorize scripture.
Knowing how terrible I am at memorization, I printed and laminated cards that I could carry around. Any time I had to wait (which for a Choleric is torture!) I’d pull out my card for the day and keep rehearsing it.
Honestly, it felt like a chore. Like I was studying for school. My devotional time didn’t suddenly skyrocket. My sense of closeness to God didn’t dramatically improve.
The “only” thing that happened is that I started interrupting the complaining+ going through my mind and replacing it with a Bible verse.
And that, in itself, was a huge relief. I’d never before found any way to stop the negativity. Now, I could.
But then came the day when Tracy came up to me, right as I was starting class, and started chewing me out about her grade: “You never told us…you didn’t write it on the board…it’s not right for you to…”
As she blasted me, I felt everything shift into silent slow motion. I could see her mouth moving, but I no longer heard what she was saying. Remarkably, I didn’t feel defensive.
As I looked at her, Ephesians 2:10 came to mind:
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
I thought: Tracy, you don’t realize that you are God’s masterpiece, do you? You don’t see yourself as created anew in Christ Jesus.
And my heart broke for her.
Which has totally changed how I relate to her.
I now see how hard she tries, how much she struggles, how unhappy she is. I see the tremendous potential buried under a facade designed to keep people away.
No, we’re not BFFs. On a recent class trip, I snapped at her before we left campus and then realized I was in the wrong. As soon as we arrived, I sought her out to apologize.
Before I could open my mouth, she said, “I was telling my friends on the way here how bad I felt for what I said and how much I wanted to apologize to you.”
As two Cholerics, we almost got into an argument about who should apologize first and the most!
What a transformation from the old to the new!
Yes, in Tracy, but most importantly in me!
As new people, we have a new way to treat people: as new people.
Try this today
As you’re dealing with a difficult person, imagine them as a new person. (Checking for strengths on your PURSE-onality “gift card” may help!)
Ask yourself: “How can I treat this person as a new person in Christ?”
Pray to see and treat her/him via God’s eyes and heart.
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-9 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- about anything else on your heart!
Wow, I am speechless. Everyday you newly inspire me to turn my life around! I thank god for you everyday! Keep going with your wonderful ministry! God bless, mariah
I have been dealing with issues at work all week….but the only real issue was me….I carried my scripture cards with me today…I shared them with a friend….I laughed, I smiled, I felt good today…Instead of the frustration aggravation, and my complaining …I read my cards and guess what took over …a softer heart …I truly believed today was going to be a better day…I changed my thinking and my “Baditude”
I am learning….
This is something I’ve struggled with all my life, It is the way I was raised and the way my mom was raised, It was around me all the time. I have been in that same situation with people that get on my nerves, I do realized how bad it makes me feel afterwords. I will be applying the bible verses and using the “gift cards”
I’d love to find out how I can become a “younger me”. It would be nice to reclaim the energy and vitality that I used to have. Thanks!
I changed my band 24 times yesterday. I am notorious for finding the weakness in others. This does not work well with my four children. Two of my boys are extremely sensitive and I find I walk on egg-shells a lot just trying to communicate simple things to them. I fail in the complaint department mostly when I need a task to be done. Being a combo of sanguine and choleric with a hint of phlegmatic is challenging me more than I could have imagined! I will say that I am thankful and grateful to be more aware of other people who use complaints and negativity to start conversations. I was on a field trip with one of my boys yesterday and his teacher started a conversation about the school’s principal. Truly I fell into the trap and finally had to stay quiet in order to abstain from the viscous negativity! Thank you for this challenge. I love the cards and will become proficient at using them. Let go and let God changes everything!
Today’s post really hit home with me regarding a relationship with an employee. This series has been so helpful to me. Thanks for your insight and wisdom!
Thank you so much for this post! Negativity has been ruling my heart and I’m trying to get out of that rut. I love your idea about putting scripture on cards and how that transformed you! I think I will implement that starting today. Thank you so much!
I love it! This is the “vision” verse for my blog and the entire reason I started the challenge! 🙂
I’m thankful that we are NEW in Christ! I love the example you gave of how you memorized scripture and used it to battle the negativity. A great example of how scripture really IS our sword!
This is a very unique & creative way to do a Bible study–also “fashion-foward” because of purses. I enjoy the creative way of presenting the Bible verses, too.
I took on this challenge to change myself…..it’s slow in coming and I am not following as i should. I really need this more than I thought! Lol
I really like your idea of memorizing scripture so that it easily comes to mind when you are trying to deal with difficult situations. I am going to try this. I keep forgetting to wear my band, but have caught myself many times being negative. I need to memorize scripture that makes me think positive. I am really enjoying this challenge, if you can say enjoying when you are being convicted on a regular basis!!! LOL!!
I agree, I need to memorize scripture to keep me positive. This challenge is convicting me on a constant basis! Thank you so much for the challenge and the information.
Heidi J
I really am thankful for this post because there is a mom from church who is a complete know-it-all & enjoys telling others how they are parenting and/or homeschooling wrong. I need to find a better way to react to her that isn’t full of the negativity she uses. I need to pray for her & for God to help me see her as He does. 🙂
I have a hard time dealing with people that I ‘perceive’ as difficult. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
Jena, you are not alone. I tend to avoid difficult people and when I read in Cheri’s book about being able to carry on a conversations without negativity it really opened my eyes. I grew up with a very negative mother and I see that see really is in my heart more than I have been able to overcome.
I would like to ditto what anonymous said above….. that’s hard to admit!! I don’t want to see others in a negative light, I don’t want to raise my daughters to always see the negative….. make me “NEW” Father – make me new and help me to see others in a “NEW” light!!
Thank you! I often have a hard time remembering this! I am a new creature! She/ he is a new creature! Isn’t it sad that I take so much care with my words and attitude around people I do not know well or people I know need CHRIST, but around people I love, I open her up and let her fly!!? I try so hard to protect my children and husband from criticism and unkind words from other people, yet my words are even more hurtful than their’s would’ve been… *sigh*
Thank you for your willingness to be real to encourage others!
i have found that i have a tendency to go on the defensive when all i need to say is i’m sorry. i have a fear of failure and try to make excuses (even to myself). i pray for self discipline and a self acceptance that i am made anew in Christ every moment. i have fallen behind in the challenge, but i resolve to keep going even though i would normally quit if i couldn’t do it perfectly. thanks for your encouragement
Amazing how the more we change, the more we see we need to change! And that one can continue to grow and change, “BECOME NEW”, in your 50’s! Donna Marie
I am very thankful for what I am learning in this study. I feel I am the epitome of the contentious wife the Bible speaks of. I have been saved and become a “new” person, but it seems I constantly try to fix or deal things my own way instead of relying on God. I will definately try to put memorizing and rehearsing scripture in place of my nagging, complaining words.
Me too! I also agree with the cards/memorizing scripture. We can do it!!!