Day 7: FREE (+ 14 Ways to Enjoy "Free" Holy-Days)

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Responding to last week’s comments, I was struck by the fact that December 25 is the only day of the year when we attempt so much, expect so much, and often need so much in a 24-hour period!
 
We have this extraordinary list of things we “have” to do. The time-frame is completely unrealistic. But we judge ourselves on how well we accomplish the impossible.
 
For me, this insistence on “doing the same thing over and over again each holiday but expecting different results” results, ever-so-predictably, in temporary insanity.
 
There has to be a better way.
So now there is no condemnation 
for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 
And because you belong to Him, 
the power of the life-giving Spirit 
has freed you from the power of sin 
that leads to death.
 
Romans 8:1-2 (NLT)
 
Christ’s birth was meant to bring life-giving freedom, not keep us in the death-grip of bondage. 
 
So here, in no particular order, are

14 Ways to Enjoy “Free” Holy-Days! (Click to Tweet this.)

 
1.  Commit to a “baditude”-free attitude. I may or may not be free to choose where I go, when I arrive, who I see, or what I do. But I am free to surrender my attitude to God and focus on gratitude.
 
2.  Break  free from anyone else’s standards of “the perfect holiday ______.” For example, our family photo. Last year, I was still concerned about “maintaining appearances” and sent the “my-what-a-lovely-family-we-are” card you see above. 
 
I wish I’d sent (or at least been brave enough to include) the bottom “glad-to-see-the-Gregorys-are-as-quirky-as-ever!” photo instead.  
 
3.  Explore the idea of going gift-free this year. Or perhaps re-gifting only. Or hand-made gifts using supplies we already have. Instead of relying on credit, reach for creativity! 
 
4.  Consider freedom from the constraints of December 24 or 25. Kimberlee’s family celebrates on “3 King’s Day, January 6, and is usually able to save $ because the gifts are post-Christmas clearance.”
 
5.  Create gift-giving categories that free everyone from shopping stress. Leesa’s family gives “something thet want, something they need and something to read. The fourth gift is a game for all to share. The three gift rule helps keep things from getting out of hand.”
 
6.  Enjoy this free Focus on the Family radio broadcast: “Redeeming the Season” with Pam McCune and Kim Wier!
 
7.  Get ideas for breaking free of commercialization. Check out Bill McKibben’s challenging concept: Hundred Dollar Holiday––the Case for a More Joyful Holiday.

 8.  Review a full week of “Redeeming Christmas” with Prairie Girl:  #1 and #3 are especially freeing (at least to me!)

9.  Set your children free from the “holiday-guilt game”. I love Jennifer’s intentionality now:  “Establish some family traditions that are ours, and maybe a bit unconventional because we know that when our sons grow up they will have their inlaws to consider and we will need to have alternate plans for the years they don’t come “home” for Christmas, or if they, like us, choose to take the day to spend with their wives and children.”

10.  Delegate. Do not “do it all”. Great idea from Sarah R: “If having dinner at your house, make the main dish yourself and have everyone commit to bringing a side dish/dessert instead of doing it all yourself. That will free up a lot of time and stress.”

11.  Keep worn-out parents free from “kid melt-downs.” Keep children on a semi-schedule, with non-sweet meals, snacks, naps, and routine. This is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received. (Leesa C)

 12.  Find free (or mostly free) family activities: looking for lights, drinking hot chocolate with peppermint stir sticks while playing games, allowing the boys to decorate their rooms with tinsel on greenery and nonbreakable ornaments, and the boys making gifts to give to one another.  (Leesa C)

 13.  “My free-from thing this year is working on being free from other’s expectations of what our personal family Christmas should be like. We have an enjoy our own traditions, some that others find un-important or silly. We are also untraditional in some ways. I am going to let the comments, well meaning or not, go this year.” (Leesa C)

 14.  Bless by request. “We draw names and have a determined price. It is so much easier than trying to buy for everyone! Also, I ask what they want so I get them something they really like or need.” (Arlene F)

 15.  Liberate via limits.  “After many years of buying gifts for 30+ family members, we made the decision to cut it down to our own children, parents, and younger nieces and nephews. In its place, we started taking part in Operation Christmas Child. There is something that makes it so special knowing that you are picking out items that a child can use and appreciate. This one decision to make our Christmas list more manageable has been so liberating and we are able to enjoy the time leading up to Christmas.”  (Lori)

Feel “Free” to Contribute

 
Now that I’ve started the list, I need your help finishing it!  
 
In the comments, share one (or more!) idea(s) for greater freedom this season.  I’ll update this blog post over the upcoming days.  
 
(Don’t stop just because we’ve reached 14…I’d love to hit 44! 🙂

Your Turn!

  • What holiday “freebies” can you recommend? (Leave links to great blog posts, articles, downloads, etc.!)
  • What freedoms have you claimed for yourself and/or your family during the holidays?
  • What other ways of being “free” this holiday season can you think of?
  • Anything else on your heart!

Hi, I'm Cheri! I'm a collaborator, teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. I love helping women break free from destructive expectations through a blend of “how to” and “heart, too.” I've been married to my college sweetheart Daniel (who is my opposite personality!) for 35+ years and we have two adult children: Annemarie and Jonathon.

10 Comments

  1. After many years of buying gifts for 30+ family members, we made the decision to cut it down to our own children, parents, and younger nieces and nephews. In its place, we started taking part in Operation Christmas Child. There is something that makes it so special knowing that you are picking out items that a child can use and appreciate. This one decision to make our Christmas list more manageable has been so liberating and we are able to enjoy the time leading up to Christmas.

    Reply

    1. Lori —

      What a great idea! Very specific and intentional. Love the service aspect of it. Funny how “limitations” actually liberate!

      Reply

  2. My free-from thing this year is working on being free from other’s expectations of what our personal family Christmas should be like. We have an enjoy our own traditions, some that others find un-important or silly. We are also untraditional in some ways. I am going to let the comments, well meaning or not, go this year.

    Reply

    1. Leesa —

      I’ve been e-mailing with one reader, and we both agree that dealing with expectations of what others think we should (and shouldn’t) do is one of the hardest parts of the holidays. Letting go of the comments sounds like a wonderful gift to give yourself and your entire family!

      Reply

  3. Keep children on a semi-schedule with non sweet meals, snacks, naps, and routine. This eliminates so much stress on worn-out parents who do not want to handle or cannot handle “kid melt-downs.”. This is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received.

    Also, we try to do free or mostly free things: looking for lights, drinking hot chocolate with peppermint stir sticks while playing games, allowing the boys to decorate their rooms with tinsel on greenery and nonbreakable ornaments, and the boys making gifts to give to one another.

    Reply

    1. Leesa C —

      This is one thing we did do, and were we ever criticized for it! We were told we needed to “lighten up” and “not be so rigid/strict” with our children. But our son, especially, suffered if we altered his schedule.

      Love your free togetherness ideas! the hot chocolate w/peppermint stir sticks sound yummy!

      Reply

  4. If having dinner at your house, make the main dish yourself and have everyone commit to bringing a side dish/dessert instead of doing it all yourself. That will free up a lot of time and stress. I love the tips you’ve listed!

    Reply

    1. Shelly —

      Love this! When I was growing up, my mother modeled one form of hospitality: formal dining, with full place settings, name cards, and her doing all the cooking. Nobody ever brought anything. I’m learning to love having people over and asking everyone to bring one item! It feels strange, because it’s not how I was raised, but it is SO much less stressful! Plus, i get to enjoy some great new recipes!

      Reply

  5. I love your idea of “moving” Christmas. My husband and I have talked about that very thing. Ultimately, we would like to do Christmas with my mom at her birthday (2 wks before Christmas) and Christmas with my inlaws at New Years. We are having our 2nd child at Thanksgiving this year and we would like to have Christmas day free to enjoy as a family. And we would like to be able to establish some family traditions that are ours, and maybe a bit unconventional because we know that when our sons grow up they will have their inlaws to consider and we will need to have alternate plans for the years they don’t come “home” for Christmas, or if they, like us, choose to take the day to spend with their wives and children.

    Reply

    1. Jennifer —

      My husband and I LOVE the idea of moving gift-buying and giving until after Christmas to take advantage of the after-Christmas sales!

      We also are very impressed with your intentionality in letting go of your expectations of your children even now. What a gift! So many families demand behaviors of their adult children that seriously hurt their marriages…I’ve seen close friends who “have” to go through nightmarish travel arrangements and expenses in order to be at a certain house on a certain date at a certain time.

      Reply

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