Day 4: PURE (+ Reason Why #1)
A Driving Force
From Jacque:
“You know, the one thing I see the most of, in myself, is this nagging predisposition to climb up on God’s throne and try to do HIS job. Eeekk… Bad, I know! But really that’s what all my baditudes boil down to: I think I can do better.”
Can I hear an “amen” chorus of conviction? I’ve been feeling a bit smug yesterday and today because driving is not an area of struggle for me. In fact, my issue is driving with people who have issues with other drivers!
I’ll be talking away, when suddenly, they cut me off mid-sentence (with no blinkers!) to say, “Did you see that? Did you see that?”
And I feel like saying, “Do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself?”
Since I think interrupting someone you do know is far worse than getting cut off by someone you don’t know, I can zoom from accusation to contempt–at least I’m not the kind of person who rudely interrupts for no reason–in a heartbeat.
Because after all, when I’m in the driver’s seat?
I can do better.
What Drives Us?
Many of us are starting to ask really important questions, like: Why do I complain? What do I gain when I complain?
For the next five days, we’re going to examine 5 goals of complaining+, using the acronym G.R.I.P.E.
G = Get Attention
How many of our conversations start with a complaint?
- “Sorry I’m late; my kids just would not cooperate!”
- “How are you handling this heat?”
- “This line goes on forever!”
- “Wanna bet this meeting runs late…again?”
Complaining is a natural language for “connecting” with other people.A friend asks, “How was your day?” and what naturally comes to mind? Those sensational frustrations!
As women, we often reinforce each other. A friend says, “My boss is such a…” and we reply, “Oh, that must be so hard for you!”
Instant empathy, instant connection.
My two “pet phrases” that I’m still working to eliminate are “Would you be-LIEVE?!? and “You would NOT be-LIEVE…”
Both are classic Sanguine/Expressive phrases to Get Attention and gain sympathy for my disappointment.
Who’s Doing the Driving?
(Can’t view image? Click here to download 1 Corinthians 1:30)
Let’s check the purity of our motives.
When I’m in a hurry and accidentally cut you off in traffic, what do I want from you?
- Oh, I expect you to assume the best of me. Such a little mistake, so easy to overlook, so insignificant.
But when you’re in a hurry and accidentally cut me off in traffic, what do I do to you?
- I assume the worst possible motives, which I amplify, and then blow completely out of proportion.
When I’m doing the driving, I expect to receive compassion while handing out contempt. (A story about a speck and a plank comes to mind right about now!)
How can we ever have pure motives?
Jesus is ready and waiting. But he will not use force.
Offer up the driver’s seat. Hand over the keys to your heart.
And invite Him to do the driving.
Try this today
When you feel the urge to give in to baditude*, ask yourself, What’s driving me? As you choose your response, ask yourself, Who’s doing the driving? (Click to Tweet this.)
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-4 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- about anything else on your heart!
(*baditude = complaining, criticism, gossip, and sarcasm)
This post really got my attention! I wish I had read it yesterday. I got in a fender bender! Where I see God in all of this is since this series I have been convicted of my attitude when I drive. I totally struggle with the R in GRIPE. And the night before someone was going cut my turn at a 4 way and I acted soooo immature! So ashamed of my behavior. And yesterday Holy Spirit wanted to be sure I set my heart straight. Later a young driver blew her stop sign or thought she could cross the street, or just didn’t see me. I don’t know. I just know that at that accident, I had grace to spare. I wasn’t upset!! Who is that??!! I am so grateful that I had my heart attitude adjusted and filled with grace for that. I know it could have ended very differently. And what type of witness would I have been then?
I know that I’m a complainer. I’ve asked God to show me each and every time I’m complaining. I want to change and I know that I can do it with God’s help!
You know when a friend suggested we do this challenge…I honestly thought I wasn’t a complainer. That I probably wouldn’t get much out of this challenge. BUT, I am finding out that THIS CHALLENGE IS FOR ME! I do complain. Not the “I hate this”, type of complaining but the more subtle kinds that you gave examples for. hmmmmm I also can’t wait to hear what the R.I.P.E. in “GRIPE” is. Thank you for starting this challenge FOR ME!
Whoops, very guilty of complaining, even about the small stuff. And great example with the driving. I’m a pretty cautious driver but take it personally when someone cuts me off or tailgates me. I get irritated. Guess that’s how it is when I’m not driving too. But taking things too personally is my problem, and I know if i just let it be or go, I wouldn’t be a big of a complainer as I am.
Never really thought of sarcasm as complaining. More like a personality trait… OUCH!! Really noticing how often I am guilty of it. I guess the first step in changing is recognizing it. So thankful I have the Lord’s help!
I need help to quit complaining about my job…well not my job but things that go on …and I let it get to me…
no more put it to rest God help me to be done with the complaining at work and make my best effort to say, do and act according to what you have taught me….
Through this study, I am learning how pitiful I am and how truly amazing that God’s grace is to have saved a wretch like me. I want to just praise Him forever for this wonderful gift!
OUCH! I am the talker and my husband is the driver/interrupter! I get so mad at him that I will just stop and not continue; wondering if he even notices! I have even gone so far as to think that I am going to start insisting that I do the driving because he stresses me out so much when he does this. The worst part is while this bugs me so much, I haven’t even said anything to him about it so he is judged, convicted, sentenced and serving time without even knowing why or how.
🙁
Recently, I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy and the doctor seems to think it was triggered by stress, since I have had it 2 times before. I beginning to think God is allowing this to happen to remind me…I am NOT in control! I think I have a handle on everything and that I do not need to bother God for help. Yet, I complain. Go figure!
Since I have been so rightfully humbled, my change in attitude will be one of meekness and understanding that we all are in need of our Lord and Savior, Jesus. He is the only one who can handle it all, and I do NOT have to do this thing called life alone.
Be blessed.
I think I am the epitome of the person you are trying to help reform. When I read today’s post, I actually thought, “But I don’t want to get attention.” And then I realized, in a way, I do. A lot of my issues stem from feeling justified. They cut me off and that was wrong, so I am right. Along with that, I want others to know and agree that the other party was wrong and I was right. There’s that reinforcement you were talking about!
I have learned (about myself) while trying to be Complaint-Free that it is harder for me not to complain around certain people. I don’t know if they bring out the worst in me OR if I bring out the WORST IN THEM?!?! Either way – it is something that I REALLY need to work on.
Reading through some of the other comments from today, I find myself nodding my head in agreement….. I have become more and more aware of the critical, sarcastic, complainer I can be and I really, really know I need to let God change me. It’s so hard for me to release the control, but I can do this – He can do this in me!!! Can’t wait to find out what the R.I.P.E. stand for in GRIPE!!! Thank you again and may God bless each of you that are having the same struggles that many of us have!!
I think i am guilty of thinking of my complaints not as complaints but as “facts,” and therefore worthy of announcement. …trying to distinguish between what is necessary/unnecessary in conversation
THE SECRET PLACE
My heart is like a house
One day I let the Savior in
There are many rooms
Where we would visit now and then
But then one day He saw that door
I knew the day had come too soon
I said, “Jesus, I’m not ready
For us to visit in that room
‘Cuz that’s a place in my heart
Where even I don’t go
I have some things hidden there
I don’t want no one to know”
But He handed me the key
With tears of love on His face
He said, “I want to make you clean
Let me go in your secret place.”
So I opened up the door
And as the two of us walked in
I was so ashamed
His light revealed my hidden sin
But when I think about that room now
I’m not afraid any more
‘Cuz I know my hidden sin
No longer hides behind that door
That was a place in my heart
Where even I wouldn’t go
I had some things hidden there
I didn’t want no one to know
But He handed me the key
With tears of love on His face
And He made me clean
I let Him in my secret place
Is there a place in your heart
Where even you won’t go
-Booth Brothers
Why don’t we let Jesus in that secret place? If we already haven’t, lets hand Him the keys today and let Him clean that secret place!!!
Yes, I have to watch my complaining. The driving example hit home. Someone recently looked like he was driving across two lanes slowly (in the middle of the right turn and right lanes) on purpose. Maybe he was lost. But I didn’t wait and went around him on the left. When he finally went in the right turn lane, he leaned out, gave me a few choice words and flipped me a finger. I was so mad that I told a few people about it when I got to work. Probably wasn’t a great testimony on my part. This is my first blog post. I think it will be good.
Often I go through a conversation and later when I think about it again I think, “I should have switched my bracelet a few times there”. Though I may not have thought about it then its great to reflect and be conscious of my words and try to do do better next time.
I also found out that I get extremely sarcastic when I am tired! My boyfriend & I are in a LDR and when he called me late almost everything I said was sarcastic. I wasn’t mad & he is used to it but after we hung up… I was thinking how many times I would have had to change my bracelet!
The next morning I asked his forgiveness and he said “Your ok, I am used to you being mean!” 😀 He’s so “sweet”.
-Iris♥