Day 31: HOPE (Why Expectations are Always an EpicFail)

Today’s blog post comes to you as a vlog (below) and blog (scroll further down)!

(Can’t see the video? Click here to view “Why Expectations Are Always an EpicFail” directly on YouTube!)

Sharing a Reciprocal Blessing

I was blessed by an anonymous comment this morning:

Wow! Doing this series has been an eye opener for me.

Back a couple of years ago I gave up on Christmas celebration and I really could not give a full answer as to why. With two children I came up with creative answers as to why mom did not want to celebrate anymore.

After reading today’s entry, I realize that I let the moaners and groaners steal my holiday joy. In all my efforts to deal with them and keep them happy, I no longer was celebrating simply because ‘the Lord is come’.

Thank you so much for helping me to realize this. This year I think there will be a new mindset and more than a few changes as we celebrate the coming of our Lord.

I am so thrilled, for a couple of reasons.

First, the Day 30 blog post almost didn’t even happen. I spent an hour and a half working on it but could not come up with anything. My mind went blank; I kept erasing everything. I almost put up the verse of the day with a note saying, “Sorry, Cheri is brain dead”!

But when I sat down again in the morning, the lyric to “Joy to the World” came to mind. I realized, “Hey, that’s in present tense: the Lord is come!” And things sort of came together.

When I hit “publish,” I still felt like the post was just okay. It would fill space, but I didn’t think anybody would get much out of it. I got something — which is why I’ve done the challenge all month — the reminder that the Lord is come. And that’s it; that’s all I really need!

And, it is nice to know that someone else has been blessed along the way.

A Woman Whose Love Protects

Let’s take a quick look back at where we started.

I borrowed the phrase “a woman whose love protects” from Proverbs 31 Ministries to help explain what I mean by “a holiday-ready heart.”

And after blogging through the month, I realize that I can only be a woman whose love protects if I know — and I mean really really know — that my own heart is protected.

And the various issues I’ve explored — the various obstacles to really enjoying and celebrating the holy-days — are all about feeling un-safe. Feeling threatened, as if I need to protect my own heart because I can’t trust God to protect my heart.

Self-Protection = Expectations = Disappointment

For me, it’s a three-step process when I decide to engage in self-protection:

1) I develop expectations based on my PURSE-onality goal and needs. My expectations are probably a bit different from yours.

2) I place my expectations on the people in my life: husbands, kids, students, strangers.

Step #3 is so predictable…

3) I am completely disappointed in the people around me because they “let me down.”

Expectations always lead to disappointment because people are not in this world to help me achieve my goals and meet my needs!

So through my best attempts to make myself feel more safe and protect my own heart, I end up guaranteeing that I’m going to end up feeling even less safe.

Hope vs. Expectations = NO CONTEST

The only antidote for this is today’s word: HOPE.

Romans 5:5 specifically says “hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

The reason that hope doesn’t disappoint and expectations do disappoint us is that expectations are all about people.

They’re about me and what I think I need and want. They’re totally self-centered. And they’re about what I need and want from you.

Hope, on the other hand, is about God.

Hope is about what He has done, what He is currently doing, and what He will do.

Hope doesn’t disappoint because God doesn’t disappoint.

Hebrews 6:19 says “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

I love this image of an anchor.

As you’ve probably gathered if you’ve read my blog posts this month and seen my vlogs, I can tend to be somebody who is all over the place. My life can be full of storms and waves, and my emotions can lead me up and down and all over the place.

I need an anchor to hold me firm.

It doesn’t drag me under; it doesn’t weigh me down.

But when everything else around is windy and stormy and choppy, that anchor of hope keeps me in one place. It keeps me from getting too far off course.

Then, when the time is right, the anchor can come back up, and I can move forward again.

I’ll close with the final verse of the Challenge, Romans 15:13, as a benediction:

May the God of hope

fill you with all joy and peace

as you trust in him,

so that you may overflow with hope

by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Your Turn:

About what do you tend to develop expectations and foist them upon others?

How have you seen the difference between expectations and hope in your life?

Anything else on your heart!

Celebrate with a new button declaring:

Start Your Holiday Ready Heart Journey Here:

5 Comments

Anonymous says:

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I finished!!! I may be the pokey puppy, but I have arrived.

Thank you for doing this.

God Bless,
Kim in NC

Secret Biz Girl says:

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A million thanks to you for doing this blog! Back in September, I realized that I spend every Christmas emotional alienated from Christ, but I never wanted to admit it (especially since I teach religious education). I did not want my kids to feel disconnected and was hoping that your blog would set me on the path of connecting my heart to our Lord. Every morning, I would read your blog and journal in my Notes app before getting out of bed. The first week really opened my eyes and started important conversations with my family and my self. Then the road got a little harder. Some days I felt like I was tweaking myself, other days, I felt like I was rewiring my brain! On the “People Pleasing” day, I discovered that not only was I one, but I was also Codependent! I took a mental health day off (not easy as a SAHM with a toddler), and got to the bottom of why I was the way that I was, and why I acted the way I did with people (I always thought I was a nice person and a good mom). That was the day that changed my life! Finishing up the month was wonderful because now everything falls in line with my new sense of self. You have inspired change within me much like the way a new baby changes a parent. It was such hard work for me to really look deep into my heart. But it was the best therapy that I could never afford. I wish I could hug you! I am eternally grateful! You are brilliant!

Lisa Maria says:

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Cheri I’ve had to do some catch up reading since our internet connection was sporadic this past week or so,but I also want to thank you so much. This was a very enlightening series and I have learned so much. God bless you and yours!

Amie says:

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I have greatly enjoyed our Purse-onality Challenge this month. Thank you Cheri for your hard work and for allowing God to use you to mentor us in pray-paring for Holiday Ready Hearts!

Tina says:

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Cheri, Thank you so much for writing, for putting yourself out there!
I “get” you!
~ Tina