Day 28: CONTENT
“It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to…”
I’ve cried through plenty of parties.
As an “especially high maintenance” person, I’ve spent more than my share of birthdays reflecting back on the previous year/decade with frustration, regret, and shame.
All that I hadn’t done. All I’d done that I shouldn’t have. All that had happened to me.
“You would cry too if it happened to you!”
Finally Different
This birthday is different.
Memory Lane was invited, but only on the condition of good behavior.
Cynical Old Stories didn’t get an invitation.
The entire “If Only” family was turned away at the door (even though they insisted I would love the “gifts” they’d brought!)
A restraining order was issued for Poor Me.
I Know
(Can’t see the image? Click here to download Philippians_4:12!)
(With apologies to Paul)
I know what it’s like to have a mother who says, “Just looking at your room makes me feel messy!”…
…and I know what it’s like to have a father who says, “I’m so glad you chose me to be your Daddy!”
I know what it’s like to starve myself and compulsively count every calorie for months, priding myself in feeling no hunger…
…and I know what it’s like to cram everything I can get my hands on into my mouth and still want more.
I know what it’s like to give up on guys forever…
…and I know what it’s like to fall in love at first sight weeks later.
I know what it’s like to hide in the bathroom between classes, crying my eyes out because the students won’t listen or obey…
…and I know what it’s like to receive a Teacher of Excellence medallion and check.
I know what it is to be dumped by BFFs…
…and I know what it’s like to be the “rising star” of a company.
I know what it’s like to live with the chronic pain of a fractured vertebrae and ruptured discs…
…and I know what it’s like to re-build core strength the most joyous way imaginable: on the back of a horse.
I know what it’s like to hide behind my secrets…
…and I know what it’s like to break shame’s power through authenticity.
I know what it’s like to wonder if there’s any hope that I’ll ever change…
…and I know what it’s like to learn vicariously through the courageous story of a sister in Christ.
The Secret
This birthday is different because I’m content.
I’m not saying my life is perfect or stress-free, no way!
- Dusty’s on her 4th splint and still has 10 days to go…
- I’ve got dozens of papers to grade and tests to score by Thursday…
- I have a graduate research project to finish and submit in a couple of weeks…
- Thus far, May’s expenses have far exceeded May’s income…
- My son’s summer Physics class is already full with a big waiting list…
- My daughter’s phone shattered and doesn’t have insurance coverage after all…
- The front bumper is literally falling off my car…
And yet, I‘m content.
I’ve learned Paul’s “secret.”
- It’s not self-control or self-indulgence.
- It’s not independence or romance.
- It’s not survival or achievement.
- It’s not overcoming loss or receiving laurels.
- It’s not a high pain threshold or a miracle healing.
- It’s not resilience or transparency.
- It’s not surrender or peace.
- It’s not faith, hope, or love.
- It’s not even gratitude.
All
As friends have asked me what I want for my birthday, I’ve been able to honestly say, “Nothing.”
- I can do all things…for which God has called me.
- I have all strength…in Christ Jesus.
- I am filled with all joy and peace…by the power of the Holy Spirit.
It’s my birthday, and I’ll cry if I want to…but they will not be tears of frustration, regret, or shame.
They will be tears of recognition that I have all I need.
Jesus has been, is, and always will be my all in all.
He is the “secret” in any and every situation (…the “secret” that’s way too good to keep!)
Try this today
Ask yourself: “If I could pick the one biggest obstacle between myself and contentment, what would it be?” Prayerfully ponder this between today and tomorrow.
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-28 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- about anything else on your heart!
Great question at the end. Will have to think on that. <3
I’ve done this as well on birthdays, looking back on the last year as full of missed opportunities, heartbreaks, missed goals, and bad choices. Instead I need to take this approach and focus on all the GOOD that came out of the year! Each year I improve, each year I grow closer to God, each year I get one step closer to becoming the woman of God I want to be, each year I become a better mother and a better friend. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with the failures and let-downs of the previous year, and to have an all out cry out! But when you focus on all the positive instead, even the smallest improvements, it makes such a HUGE difference! Your attitude and outlook are one of blessing and progress and excitement for all you can do this year. Thank you for posting this! 🙂
Content “In a state of peaceful happiness”. And what state would that be? California, Oregon, New York? LOL …
To be content is up to us…How we handle and deal with situations…I cant do it on my own….I need God to help me or I end up messing everything up…
To stay focused on him trusting believing…That will help me to be content knowing my father chose me…Peaceful Happiness is from him…
Happy Birthday! Contentment is sometimes an issue for me. Not because I don’t feel it but because I was told if I was content, I was moving backwards and not forwards. I know this was not good advice but it has taken years to let myself be content.
Happy Birthday Cheri! Contentment is one of the biggest things I’ve been working on for the past few months. I know my biggest obstacles and I’m praying for guidance and direction from God. I want to be content. I want to be thankful and grateful for everything He brings me in my lifetime. I want to choose joy over all other emotions but I know I can’t do it without Him. Have a wonderful birthday!
I struggle with contentment constantly.
Happy Birthday! Still “chewing” on yesterday’s word GUARD and offshoot Gratitude and today see Cheri as a Prov.31 woman…..While acknowledging God’s infinite wisdom in having men write down “God-breathed” scripture, if women had been the scribes, we would have a much longer “love letter from God.” Interspersed between the verses would be a litany of reflections (reflections NOT complainng) on the daily lives of women who “select wool and flax…grasp spindle….open arms to the poor….make bed coverings” in spite of having to wire the bumper back on the car, replace the splint on the cat’s leg, again, grade papers while “trading profitably and planning so her lamp does not go out at night” rob Peter to Paul (no new summer sandals) in order to pay for at least half of the cost of a new cell phone for the daughter, while hitting their knees to pray for space in summer class for the son (of course not wishing ill on any others on waitinglist)……Yes, Cheri and her sisters in the Lord have a lot for which to be thankful and with which to be content……family, friends, work, living in a beautiful area, health and a sense of fun and strength, joy and peace in the Lord. Thank you Cheri and please forgive all the quotation marks but could not do italics and not face to face for those irritating “air quotes.”
Thank you. I needed this today.
Having read Words by Finny Ytrup, and being greatly blessed, I would love this book too!
Great challenge and question today.