Day 20: BUILDING (20+ Ways to Build with Words)
When I was little, my father always used to say to me, “Thank you for choosing me to be your Daddy.”
I always replied, “Daaaaa-deeee…” because, of course, he made NO sense.
But I love it to this day when he says it!
Oh, the power of the words that come out of our mouths.
Only What is Helpful
This is a tall order.
If the words coming out of my mouth are going to be “only…helpful” during the holidays, I have got to be practicing now.
Since my mind often goes blank right when I need just the right words, here are some ideas for practicing “only what is helpful” words.
Building Others Up (20 + Ways to Build with Words.)
When I survey women prior to speaking at a retreats, 60% or more say they love hearing (or would love to hear): (Click to Tweet this list.)
- You are a blessing in my life.
- I/we appreciate you.
- I see God working in you and through you.
- What would I/we ever do without you?
- I/we need you.
- I am so glad you are my _______. (daughter, wife, mother, etc.)
- You are gifted. / You are talented.
- I love listening to you.
- You can do it!
- You mean the world to me.
- You’ve made such a difference in my life.
According to Their Needs
These particular affirmations receive about 40% votes, probably because they are PURSE-onality specific:
- You are so much fun! (Sanguine)
- You are such a good organizer / planner. (Melancholy)
- You are such a good leader. (Choleric)
- You are such a peaceful person to be with. (Phlegmatic)
Benefit Those Who Listen
I asked my friends on Facebook to share words that have built them up. Here are some responses:
- Of course, it so nice when people tell us that they appreciate us or recognize when we are working hard….expressions of gratitude go a long way. I think that when loved ones also quote God’s word and encourage me with scripture, it is truly affirming and uplifting.
- This morning I wrote an email to my husband because I was overwhelmed with homeschooling and asked if I could purchase something (I rarely spend money) and he wrote “I support you!” I started crying because I needed just that!
- “You communicated that very well,” or, “you’re very articulate.”
- You are more than capable.
- I love your ideas!
- “Remember, you are weak, but HE IS STRONG!” I’ve been repeating this to myself over and over all week…
- “Would you just listen?” Said in a frustrated tone, but they were words I needed to hear. I’ve tried to remember that lesson.
- My child you worry too much. I’ve got this….love God.
- Romans 8:28 is my blessed assurance verse.
- When I get down on myself, which is often, my husband always gets this sad little boy look on his face and says, “But…you’re my sweetie!” Now, I imagine Jesus saying the same thing to me.
- Believe it or not these words: “Gina, everything that happens to you is not about you” by the pastor of ed/admin that I reported to when I was going through a season of uncertainty. Sometimes we experience things that God uses to do a work in someone else, like our spouses, etc.
- Rom.8:28 (reminding myself that even though I may not understand that truth now, it will be true at the end)
- Just this week someone said to me, “No matter how crummy a day I’ve had, you can always make me smile–then make it into a laugh! How do you do that? Never mind, I just love that you do.” That just made me “Tickled Pink”!
- I go back to “Search from Significance,” by Robert S. McGee, which I first studied in 1990. “I have great worth apart from my performance, my appearance or what others think of me. Because God sees me thru Christ’s shed blood, I am fully pleasing, totally accepted and unconditionally loved.” This has gotten me thru many, many tough seasons!
- Knowing that Jesus wept. He felt grief & heartache, too, even though He knew the master plan and that all was going to be okay. It’s okay to cry.
Your Turn:
- What words have built you up? With whom can you share these same helpful, beneficial words?
- Which words above do you find especially powerful? To whom can you say them today?
- Anything else on your heart!
Start Your Holiday Ready Heart Journey Here:
- How It Works (via Bullet Points & Videos!)
- Day 1: LOVED (+ 2 Vital Questions to Ask NOW)
- Day 2: CHOSEN – Making Right Holiday Choices
- Day 3: COMPLETE (+ 5 Gift-Giving Questions)
- Day 4: PURE (+ Goodbye, Ghosts of Christmas Past)
- Day 5: RIGHTEOUS (+ Rituals vs. Relationships)
- Day 6: FORGIVEN (+ The Story I Choose to Tell)
- Day 7: FREE (+ 14+ Ways to Enjoy “Free” Holy-Days!)
- Day 8: VICTORIOUS (+ Heading Off Holiday Hurts)
- Day 9: NEW (+ The Power to Get or to Give?)
- Day 10: CONFIDENT (+ 10 Ways to Keep Christ in Christmas)
- Day 11: MASTERPIECE (+ Being Content With What I DO Have)
- Day 12: INSEPARABLE (+ Missing Loved Ones at the Holidays)
- Day 13: DELIVERED (+ Why the Holidays Can Overwhelm)
- Day 14: TRUST (+ How Each PURSE-onality Can Get Day Overwhelmed)
- Day 15: PATIENT (+ Practicing Now for Patience Then)
- Day 16: NO RECORD (+ How to Have Grudge-Free Holidays)
- Day 17: TRUTH (Each PURSE-onality’s Take on Truth)
- Day 18: PERSEVERE (+2 Cures for Procrastination)
- Day 19: BLESS (Your Feelings Can Help You Choose)
Great post, and that “Search for Significance” sounds like a good resource.
Okaasan — I’ve even got it on my book shelf…my dad has been urging me to read it for years! Time to pull it out and dust it off…!
Oh! This post is just awesome! What wonderful words of affirmation! I have a huge problem with words myself…why does it seem so difficult to say these things to someone else when I love hearing them myself?!
I especially loved Gina’s response…when bad things happen its not always about me…such a good thing to hold onto! My husband has also said sweet things about trusting me with our finances and that no matter what his day has been like, just walking through our door and seeing me makes a difference.
I am going to make a commitment this coming week to say something affirming at least once a day to each person in my life. Thank you Cheri!
Lisa Maria —
Isn’t it amazing reading thru all these words? I’m so glad I asked for feedback, because I wouldn’t have come up with some of them on my own…viva la difference of the difference personalities!
I wonder the same thing: I love hearing words of affirmation but have a hard time giving them. I know part of it is my old nemesis, perfectionism — not wanting to open my mouth unless I’ve got just the right words…time to practice and allow myself imperfect progress!
This is a great reminder and challenge, especially for myself to build up, not cut down.
Jac — Cutting down seems to happen so easily, with so little thought…building up takes much more conscious effort, at least for me!
Love the “not everything that happens is about you” comment!
Vicky — A great perspective check, isn’t it?
I love today’s blog. How powerful our words are! I have been going through such a difficult season in my marriage. This reminds me that I need to be more purposeful in blessing my husband with positive words! Thanks Cheri!
Amie — Glad you love the blog…it is rather awesome to read thru these various affirmations, scriptures, challenges, and be stirred by their power! Sorry to hear that you’re in a difficult season of marriage; I know the weight of that. You nailed it: being more purposeful will bless your husband…AND bless you!
An excellent reminder this morning.
Lori — Wouldn’t it be nice if we could learn everything once and for all and didn’t need reminders?
Glad this was a good one for you. (Me, too!)