Stay in the Water
I want out of the water.
It’s Thursday morning in Cancun, and I’m desperately trying to talk myself into keeping my head under the water in the “2 ft” area of the pool. It’s not like I’m taking the Advanced SCUBA class — just the featherweight “Resort SCUBA.”
I’ve promised Daniel (who is an enthusiastic multi-certified Master Diver) for six years, now, that I’ll get certified so I can dive with him (he gets so bored with the snorkel tours!)
And to make matters worse, just this morning I leveraged my goal to the max by saying, “You do realize that I’m doing this only to show you the extent of my incredible, undying love for you!” (Me and my big mouth!)
Now, here I am, five minutes after donning fins, mask, tank, and BCD (and fifteen minutes after shelling out almost $150 for the lesson and ocean dive!):
I want out of the water.
It doesn’t help any that the man to whom I’m proving my incredible, undying love is standing by the dive tank “helping” me with “experienced advice.” Anxiety joins forces with irritation, and I gently suggest that Daniel find a nice lounge chair and spent some time darkening his tan.
(Others think it sounds more like, “Go away and leave me alone!”)
Facing the Fear
My mask fogs with tears I’m fighting to restrain. I haven’t been this scared in so long, I can’t remember when. And yet I have to do this. Not because I don’t want to waste the money. Not because I promised Daniel, not any more. Now, I have to do it for me, to prove to myself that I am stronger than my fear.
I want out of the water. I want out of the water. I want out of the water!
Panic swirls around me, circling in for the kill. All I have to do is surface, take off the equipment, and say, “This just isn’t for me.”
There’s an easy out . . . out . . . out of the water.
I want out of the water!
My instructor interrupts my thoughts by motioning for me to demonstrate the skills he taught us on land. Somehow, awkwardly practicing this series of motions has a calming effect. I find myself at the rope, descending two feet at a time, reaching bottom twelve feet down.
Piece of cake! Diving is easy!
But later in the afternoon, with black storm clouds overhead and choppy waves all around, once again:
I want out of the water.
I put my face under for a moment, and to my horror I can see absolutely nothing. Nothing but murky green water. In the practice pool, at least, I could see the sides, see the bottom. Here, I see nothing.
I really want out of the water.
My guide reaches for my hand; I swim away.
“What is wrong, Lady?” he asks. “What are you afraid of? Please come down the rope!”
I shake my head and point toward the boat.
“Come,” he reaches for my hand and pulls me back toward the rope. “I be your angel today.”
I am not putting my head under. I am not going down there.
I want out of the water.
Out, out, out, out, OUT!
But somehow, I find myself a few inches under, face-to-face with my guide. He motions for me to clear my ears. Instinctively obeying, I once again practice this new skill. My hands move a few inches down the rope, and I clear again. Inches, clear. Inches, clear. Inches — I see someone! Relief floods as I recognize Daniel. And then I see the bottom. I can make it to the bottom. I am on the bottom.
I look around, taking in my surroundings. And now, words utterly fail me.
I am in a completely different world, a universe set apart. For years, Daniel has tried to tell me, tried to explain why he loves to dive. But not until now do I understand.
I do not want out of the water.
I may never get out of the water again.
Later, back on dry land, I reflect.
I came so close to getting out!
I would have missed so much, but never known!
I would have been so sure I’d made the right choice, but I would have been so very wrong.
A few life lessons I learned that day
- Recognize that experiences can be scary! Fortunately, fear isn’t fatal.
- Learn and practice new skills; they’ll keep you focused.
- Find an “angel” who will take you by the hand when you need guidance!
- Stick close to your “guide” — (s)he’s been there before and knows the way!
- STAY IN THE WATER — truly the only way to fail is to “get out.”
And, of course, never ever use the phrase, “You do realize that I’m doing this only to show you the extent of my incredible, undying love for you!”
