5 Questions to Ask When You’re Stuck

Seven years ago, I started an MA program that I was supposed to finish in two years.

I got stuck.

At first, my stuck-ness was due to a move, a new job, health issues, and other valid “life happens” stuff.

But then I stayed stuck.

For years.

Now that I’m finally cranking through the work to finish in July, I realize that asking these 5 questions helped me get un-stuck: (Click here to Tweet this list.)

What end result am I working toward? 

This is a great “big picture” question. Each time I avoided working on my MA program, I failed to see my end goals: a post-graduate degree. A pay raise. More job opportunities. A sense of accomplishment.

It’s also a great “little picture” question. I’ve been needing to write several “Reflection Papers” that meld the theories I’ve learned with my day-to-day practice as a teacher. Having never written this kind of paper, I kept stalling.

Finally, I decided to just look over the assignment, the rubric, and the sample Reflection Papers. Light bulbs went on: “Oh, this is what I’m supposed to do?”

When my end goal is clear, I take action.

Why is this important? 

The more I procrastinated, the less and less important my MA program seemed.

Sure, I’d been excited when I started. I even wrote in my reflective journal that “this program feels like it was designed specifically for me!” But that was then, and this is now, right?

Wrong.

The value of my MA remains constant, whether I’m working on it or not. What fluctuates is my motivation.

Questions like, “Why is this important to me? to my family? to my school?” and “Why is this important now? in 5 years? in 10 years?” are crucial.

In order to keep moving forward, I need to stay connected to my why.

What have I already done? 

Too often, I stall out because I tell myself that I’ve never done anything like this ever before in my entire life. Thus, I see it as 100% new and scary. Doubtless, it will require so much time and energy I can’t possibly do it in my lifetime, let alone now.

Yeah, right.

I need to give myself more credit for all the prior knowledge and experience I bring to each new project.

In this case, I have done plenty of somethings “like this” before. I’ve written articles, drama scripts, blog posts, and book contributions. I practice reflection in writing, in speaking, and in casual conversation. I can write, and I can reflect. Surely I can figure out how to write a “Reflection Paper”?

Reminding myself what I’ve done before gives me confidence to do what comes next.

What is my real next step? 

In Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, the Heath brothers suggest that we get stuck because we’re missing the real next step. Their example is putting “Take the car in for a oil change” on one’s To Do list when the real next step is “Call Bob to get the phone number of the place he takes his car.”

This is where I get stuck. Actually, I get trapped, thinking I know my next step, but it’s not my real next step, so I don’t progress.

For my Reflection Papers, real next steps have included:

• Find 1 strong article
• Order 1 book 
• Enter 1 source into EndNoteX5

Yes, I needed several articles, dozens of books, and many sources were entered into EndNoteX5. But thinking of each one as one real next step helped me make progress in “baby steps.”

For keeping track of my real next step, Post-It Notes are my new best friend. When I’m done for the day, I write a quick note telling myself what I did and another one listing my 3-5 real next steps. No more hours of frustration trying to remember “What was I doing last time?” or “What do I need to be doing now?” the next time I sit down to work!

Knowing my real next step keeps my momentum strong.

Who can help me? 

I initially wrote this question as “How can I find help?”

I wanted to stay as impersonal and independent as possible. Then I realized that four of my five years of stuck-ness were due to my reluctance–okay, my stubborn refusal–to ask for help.

On my own, I reinforce my status quo or spiral downward. Breakthroughs and advances come when I collaborate with other people. During a recent half-hour phone call with my advisor, she recommended a one-hour webinar featuring two PhD students discussing their Reflection Paper writing process. I watched it twice.

Thanks to a mere 2.5 hours of input from other people, I did in one week what I’d not been able to do in 5 years: I wrote a 22-page first draft, which I promptly sent to my advisor for more help!

Isolation is a trap from which help and accountability set me free.

Where are you stuck right now?  

How might these questions help you get un-stuck?  What further questions would you add to the list?