Day 5: RIGHTEOUS (+ Reason Why #2)
“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” (Click to Tweet this.)
Why We G.R.I.P.E.
Continuing our exploration of the 5 goals of “baditude” via the acronym G.R.I.P.E.:
R = Remove Responsibility
Complaining is a natural language for “righting the wrongs” around us.
Especially for someone who analyzes their environment for imperfections, it’s an easy way to report – and then walk away from – problems.
Church pastors are often “blessed” by messangers who feel it their duty to report (but not actually do anything about) a major issue.
Common lead-ins include:
- “Someone needs to do something about…”
- “How hard would it be to actually…”
- “It appears that nobody else has noticed…”
- “I’m sure you have already noticed…”
That last one carries an extra dig, because it implies that you have noticed but have failed to fix the problem.
These are classic Melancholy ways to Remove Responsibility for the disappointing situation while simultaneously highlighting the disappointment.
The Fight to be Right
“A lot of my issues stem from feeling justified. [The other driver] cut me off and that was wrong, so I am right. Along with that, I want others to know and agree that the other party was wrong, and I was right.” (Patti)
- I told you so!
- Didn’t I say that?
- I could have told you that.
Oh, how often and how badly I want to speak these words! Complete with mock-sincerity and wounded gestures (i.e. sarcasm).
And what I really want is to hear contrite responses that demonstrate recognition of my rightness.
- “I know, Mom. I should have listened to you.”
- “Sweetheart, as always, you were right all along.”
- “You such an expert, Mrs. G. I’m lucky you’re my teacher!”
Wanna guess how many times I’ve heard any of these rewarding concessions? (Hint: You won’t need more than one hand…or finger, for that matter!)
You Have No Right to Make Me Wrong!
But if you’re right and I am, er, “less right,” you’d better step back.
‘cause I’m gonna go all out to defend my right to be wr…wr…wr…(remember The Fonz?)…alternately valid.
Admit that you’re right? You’ve got to be kidding!
Drop it and move on? No way!
I’d have to consider your point of view. And I’m far too wrapped up in my self.
My Self-Righteousness
All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags
Whether we’re cheer leading our rightness or avoiding wrongness, we are sick.
Riddled by self-ishness, which starts in our hearts and works its way out.
Being destroyed from the inside out, insisting we look “all right.”
Blind to the ugliness of our fight to be right.
Declared Righteous
(Can’t view the image? Click here to download Romans 3:24)
Each time I re-read this verse, I am stunned anew.
“God…declares that we are righteous.
All of us are sick with self-ishness.
“God…declares that we are righteous.”
Every single thing we try to do right is totally messed up.
And yet,
“God…declares that we are [present tense] righteous.”
Not that we will be [future tense] righteous, if we try so that we’ll be good enough.
“God…declares that we are righteous”–right this very minute!
He did this [past tense] through Christ Jesus.
Why the Fight to be Right?
If God declares that you are righteous…
- …why worry about people who won’t admit you’re right?
- …why pour energy into people who think you’re wrong?
Yet God, with undeserved kindness,
declares that we are righteous.
He did this through Christ Jesus
when He freed us from the penalty for our sins.Romans 3:24
“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these?
If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”
If God is for you…
- …why give authority to anyone but Him?
Try this today
When the urge to be right (or not wrong) comes up, clench your right hand and release, praying, “Jesus, I give you my desire to be right and praise you for declaring me righteous!”
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-5 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- about anything else on your heart!
I am a melancholy, but one thing that I’ve found is that I am, fortunately and only by God’s strength, a very forgiving person, and I’m quick to be the one to try and right a wrong situation……. I do have a tendency to try and justify my behavior when I feel I’ve been wronged though – gotta really work at not justifying!!!!
Thank you so much for this whole month of PURSE-onlity challenge! I am certainly a people please … and this days verse and blog have really hit home. Am blessed to have found you and your blog!
Wow, this series is so convicting. I have a lot to work on. I loved the part about, if God declares us righteous, why are we worrying about what other people think, or if I THINK they are wrong? Thanks for this.
Thank you for this freedom – I LOVE that verse! I have two family members who hate the way I’ve chosen to live my life. I do not have to worry about how wrong they think I am. I have someone else in my life who tells me I’m wrong about just about everything. But God declares me righteous and I don’t need to worry about this person. Because I don’t need to worry about them; I also don’t need to argue with them.
There are many areas where I need to adjust the desire to feel right. However, there is one that, even after reading today’s post, I am still struggling with. When people – coworkers, family, etc. – wrong intentionally and repeatedly, it feels impossible to shake the idea that justice should be served to them. It is maddening that they continue to “get away with” their bad behavior.
Raye Ann Wolf Fry: i like to be right, but i have learned to listen to all sides, i have learned to die my self-righteousness
Thank you so much for this one. It has hit home with me. My need to always be right is getting me no where fast. I love the verse and prayer at the end!
Wow… This is a tough one for me. I have been working on it but it has been difficult. One of my constant prayers is for God to help me with this because I know how much it bothers my husband. Now I know why God put you in my path. Thank you Cheri.
When I know I am right I like to prove I am right and the other person (usually my husband) is wrong. So I have desided to use your suggestion with God’s help. Thank you. 🙂
I’m recovering from surgery that’s removed my right kidney which had a cancerous tumor in it. I have a lot o fpeople across the country praying for me and praise the Lored, it was all contained within the tumor!!
This study is helping me tremendously! So glad that I found it!
So sad to say that I like to be right! I love that prayer at the end. It needs to be my motto!
“Jesus, I give you my desire to be right and praise you for declaring me righteous!”
I needed that today….I know God knew I needed it today …amazing how he speaks to us….
I have been reading ‘Just Give Me a Little Piece of Quiet’ by Lorilee Craker (it’s a daily devotional book) and guess what yesterday’s devotion was on? Complaining. Lorilee put it this way”…our complaints are usually symptomatic of a disconnect with our Father. The remedy is to look up from our disgruntlement and check out all the things we h ave to be grateful for.” I really like that. In all honesty – I don’t really have a right to complain about anything – I am blessed beyond belief.
I definitely like being right but I know that there are many that are much wiser than I am. This can be a struggle in my marriage though. When both my husband and I both think we are right when either one of us isn’t right or we are actually both wrong. I’m working on not letting this be an issue. I know that the only way to overcome this is with God’s help.
Thank you for this much needed post. I’ve struggled with the need for having to be right all the time and having to prove to others that they are wrong. It’s like it has become an addiction. At the end of the day, I never really feel better if I “won” my point. I feel better only for a brief minute, only to be dissatisfied again when the other person is again “wrong.” Thank you for reminding me to let this go. We are already righteous before God and have nothing to prove to anyone.
Connie Y
So I went to a marriage conference with the husbeast a while back and found that one of my core fears is to be proven wrong. I mean I fight against it so hard that I get irrational. I have a hard time even saying I’m..not correct?…mistaken? …not right? So yeah this post hit home for me in more ways than one. Even when I am right I have somehow cheapened it by striving to prove it to everyone else so hard. I never get it but I just want someone else to say I am right for once and then … your post. I live with a man who somehow is right majority of the time, even when he guesses he seems to hit it every. time. He has been right 98.9999999999% of the time, and the other times I just haven’t known about. He says its a curse, esp after marrying me, who HATES it when he is right! He asks, “But if I’m right does that mean you are wrong?, NO!” If God declares that I am righteous than it doesn’t matter what others think, I don’t need to try and “hold them down” and force an “uncle” out of them. And if I’m wrong then I need the humility to be able to admit that too. That is what I struggle with, pride, I think that is why I feel I need to complain too. Oh, snap. At least you’re not having us change the bracelet every time we THINK a complaint or a criticism! Wow… Melissa Pritchett
Guilty! I LOVE to be right. Painfully so. But its a lonely place to be… I LOVE the very practical suggestion for responding in those moments. The RIGHT hand is a great memory tool and I think I will make a card with that prayer to add to my stack! Thank you for that.
Oh my! This post certainly hits a little too close to home! I try to do the right thing all the time that I don’t realize when I’m not so right…yikes!
Oh my! I definitely see myself in this. I am thankful I am new in His mercies everyday. I can be so bad at this that I even go so far as to have the last word and to make sure the other person knows they are wrong. Jesus, please take away Mrs. Right and help me be Mrs.Righteous through You!
This has been such a powerful series, I am learning something new each post! I am so grateful for this!!
While doing a Goggle seach for ideas for memorizing scripture I stumbling onto the PURSE-onality Journal Challenge. This has to be a “God-thing” because I’m struggling to move ahead after the end of a 40 year marriage. This challenge has already “lifted my head” and I feel hopeful that I can learn to feel worthy again. With tears in my eyes and my heart thank you for this Challenge.
Boy this study has really stepped on my toes. They hurt as we close this week, but I needed it. Thank you for taking the time to post this and do these awesome giveaways and sharing from your heart. I have truly been blessed by it.
I would love to be entered into the contest. Thank you.
Melissa of Melissa’s Musings A Product Review Blog
http://hugapoohlouise.wordpress.com
OUCH!!! I am known in my family for ALWAYS being right (even if I’m not). This hit right to my heart. It will be hard to release my rightness to order to embrace His righteousness in me.
Heidi J
I hate to be wrong, but guess what!?! Jesus has already been helping me to just humbly submit when I am wrong; just to say something like woops, I guess I WAS wrong. But…I when I’m right I must admit I have a tendicy to say something like “haha I’m right; didn’t I tell you so”. After reading this I feel like if I am right I should just be quite and not put the other person down. After all, I don’t like when others put me down when I’m wrong, so why should I do it back. May Jesus help me and all of us to be more like Him.
He that is down needs fear no fall,
He that is low no pride;
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.
I am content with what I have,
Little be it or much;
And, Lord, contentment still I crave
Because Thou savest such.
Fulness to such a burden is
That go in pilgrimage;
Here little and hereafter bliss
Is best from all to age.
John Bunyan
I certainly like being right and hate admitting when I am wrong. Thank you for this.
You mean you want me to ADMIT that I may not or could be sometimes…not right? This is a HUGE thing to be worked on. As a mom and the person who *runs the house* if I’m not right about something it all goes awry! I am reminded of a phrase I heard long ago, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy”? I’ll be remembering Romans 3:24 today. Thank You.
I love to at least feel like I’m right or to figure out a way to prove that I’m right. But always knowing stuff and always being right are not the same thing.
Ouch! I love to be right and don’t find that I get recognition for being right. I even recently was right and said to my husband, “So what is it that you want to tell me?” He eventually told me I was right. This is going to be a hard one for me. This week I want to give up needing to be right to Christ and admitting when I am wrong. Thanks for the post!