Day 3: COMPLETE
Early Results
So, it’s only Day #3, and some of us have discovered at least one baditude* habit we didn’t know we had.
Driving seems to be prime time for bracelet switching! Oh, that overwhelming urge to…er…analyze the…er…skills of our fellow drivers.
So, let’s combine our creativity and brainstorm a list of grateful/Godly ways to respond to all drivers we are sure got their licenses via correspondence school!
(And yes, I’m changing my bracelet.)
Discouraging Truths
Comments of conviction are coming in:
- “I had no idea I was this bad!”
- “My poor children have to sit and listen to all this!”
- “What must my non-Christian friends think of my God?”
Mandy wrote:
I’m amazed at how much negativity surrounds me…from myself, from other people. When you shine a spotlight on something, you get to see the naked truth in it!
If you’re feeling discouraged, that’s okay. This is discouraging stuff! (Anyone want me to tell bad puns and knock-knock jokes for a day or two, just to give us a breather?)
You’ve invited the Holy Spirit to convict you. And now you’re staring at an ugly truth that’s come to light.
Encouragement from God’s Word
Jacque shared this on our Facebook page:
A verse that I came across this morning … encouraging for those of us who are being made over:
“Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.” Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.
Jeremiah 18:2-4
Donna R e-mailed this life verse:
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”
Isaiah 43:1b
This verse, in a message from Heather, encapsulates the purpose of the Bible verse cards:
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I have entrusted my life.”
Psalm 143:8
Hope for Us All
Yes, the early results are in, and they’re not good.
We’re messed up. Worse than we thought.
But God is amazing. Better than we realized!
“…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6b
You Complete Me
Over at Simple Marriage, Dr. Corey Allan (whose free download Simple Marriage Manifesto is excellent) recently wrote:
One of the most damaging lines to marriage is found in the movie Jerry McGuire.
And it’s not “Show me the money!”
Here’s my response to the idea of “you complete me.”
If you try to create intimacy with someone else before you go through the task of becoming whole yourself then all your relationships will be an attempt to complete yourself.
I’ll add this from experience:
Anything we use to become whole apart from Christ will destroy us even as it promises to complete us. (Click to Tweet this.)
For me, it’s food.
- And shopping.
- And work.
- And meddling in the lives of my children.
- And trying to control my husband.
(And that’s just for starters!)
For you it may be pills. Or worry. Or religiosity. Or romance.
Another stanza to the poem I shared on Day 1 goes like this:
It’s so much work to never be
the girl I truly am;
I’d rather be unloved for ever
than only be loved “when.”
Oh, the empty promises of the Enemy we believe out of our desperate cravings for connection and completion!
“So That…” vs. “Because…”
(Can’t view image? Click here to download Colossians 2:10)
Yesterday, many of you resonated with the assurance “you can quit trying so hard!” As I’ve pondered the connections between Days 1, 2, and 3, I see two very different types of trying:
Trying so that…
or
Trying because…
When we’re trying so that… we will be loved or chosen or complete, we will find ourselves trapped in escapes and addictions, vacillating wildly between restriction and indulgence.
But when we’re trying because we are loved, chosen, and complete, we will be transformed into who God truly created us to be.
Try this today:
Play/sing the song “You’re All I Need” or “You are My All In All” and really let the lyrics speak to your heart.
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-3 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- about anything else on your heart!
Ahhh! I’m a few days behind and I wanted to catch up. I went and printed the Simple Marriage pdf that the post referred and have added it to my reading list, Thanks!
I, too, can have a baditude in the car! Like I’ve seen in the comments, I listen to Christian music, we pray in the car, and I try to remember that my children are listening from the back seat. Do they always work? No. But they do help me to make progress.
Okay – it’s my first chance to respond at all to these posts – and if I had a bracelet to switch, well, it would be worn out already. Oh my GOODNESS, I did not even realize how NEGATIVE I have become over the past several years. Complaining goes hand in hand with my cup of coffee – and I’d MUCH rather give up my complaining. God has given me a pretty clear picture of just how badly I’ve strayed from trusting Him and allowing circumstances to swirl around me, knowing HE is the master of the wind and waves. My mouth – had we been cleaning them out with soap – would be extra clean!!! whew!
This post particularly speaks to me – I’m a Sanguine mom, and yet I have gotten bogged down by the drudgery of it all (I’m not complaining, I promise!) Rather than living out mommyhood in my creative, spontaneous FUN side, I’ve gotten pretty stodgy and grumpy and even angry. YUK! This challenge is really making me stop and think about HOW and WHY I do what I do as a mom – and has helped me see how I’ve really missed out on using my gifts to bless my family. Lots of prayer over the past 3 days – and enjoying these posts – they have really been speaking to my heart!!!
This comment blessed me as much as the daily blog post
I too am a sanguine mom and I am so busy trying to figure out how to be a mom and still walk in the gifting God put in me that i never stopped to think how blessed my family would be if I focused my creativity towards them. Thank you for sharing this!
I didn’t realize how much I complained until I started paying attention. And it’s often over small things, but that’s not the kind of attitude I want to have or example I want to be setting. Thank you for helping us nring light to areas that we need to work on! 🙂
I have put some amazing Christian music on my mp3 player & it helps me SO much in the car! I sing along with the songs & have fun with it so my focus is on joy & God – not the awful drivers around me. I like to sing my heart out to Him to keep me focused on what’s important. My daughter & I also will discuss things or I teach her about driving rules & signs. Lately she looks for the American flag everywhere we go so it’s fun to focus on that as well. 🙂
When my son was in middle school we were in the car and I was “commenting” on the driver in front of me. My son looked over at me and said, “Mom, that is someone God wants to spend eternity with.” Ouch! Haven’t forgotten that when I feel the urge to say something about other’s driving skills!!
It’s funny that you talked about driving today. All day I felt really good about not having to move my bracelet. Then I had to drive behind someone who appeared to be lost. I started to mutter under my breath, then saw the bracelet and started laughing at myself! Yes, driving can be a real test to my attitude of gratitude!
Donna Marie
I am really catching myself when the “baditude” sets in…I switch my braclet take a deep breath, calm down, pray …smile and start over…
I am getting better at it every day…For me I have to be in control and at work frustration sets in …then “mouthitude” comes out…the complaining…
Hey I am really learning to stop and turn it to good…
God knew I needed this challenge…AMEN
Listening to Spirit FM (Christian radio in Roanoke, VA) helps me to focus on Him instead of the ‘bad’ driving. I’m so busy singing, I just roll with the punches.
I must admit that it hasn’t been easy , the first two days were very hard. I couldn’t stand hearing myself. Learning to replace baditude with God ‘s word has been amazing. I’m so thankful and blessed for this experience.
Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight. And consider that this nation is Your people.”
Exodus 33:12-14
I will remember when I am driving that everyone is chosen by God and that if He is giving me Grace and died for my undeserving self, then I can give his Grace to someone who has cut me off while driving, turning while blinkerless, etc….
This is a real struggle for me! I guess I think it’s ok to ridicule, complain & correct others when I’m driving because….THEY CAN’T HEAR ME! 🙂 lol…. but God can hear me & it’s not pretty at times! My process for today is to try to put myself in another persons shoes if they irritate me while driving. What I mean is… if someone pulls out and is oblivious to me behind them, I can think… “maybe this person has just received bad news of some kind & isn’t focused on what they’re doing” or “maybe they’re having a bad day and yelling at the kids, my attitude toward them could only compound their issues”, etc. 🙂
Patti —
I so understand the “they can’t hear me” reasoning! I’ve thought of getting one of those keychains that has buttons to push that make explosion sounds from Star Wars so I can have the satisfaction of “blowing them up”…but I don’t like to think of myself as a violent person.
Empathy is such a powerful choice! SO the opposite of accusation and contempt. I love your “maybe” because you’re allowing for the reason to remain unknown…which is hard. We tend to do pretty well being empathetic when we know the reason and it makes sense to us. But when all we have to go on is our own imagination and “maybe,” THAT is love in action.
It is soooooo helpful to me to have those one-liners reminding me of why I do things: “because” not “so that”!!
As far as driving goes, here’s my idea (I’ve used it, just not in this way):
REMEMBER that a follower of Christ considers others more important than herself, and lays down her life for them. Maybe put a scripture card on your seat so that you see it every time you’re getting ready to go somewhere – or on your dashboard, so you continually see it… 😀
It’s funny that you talked about driving today. All day I felt really good about not having to move my bracelet. Then I had to drive behind someone who appeared to be lost. I started to mutter under my breath, then saw the bracelet and started laughing at myself! Yes, driving can be a real test to my attitude of gratitude!
I find that placing scripture verses on cards in my vehicle keeps my attitude toward God rather than a baditude. Many times while driving God draws my attention to His creation outside and I feel He is telling me to slow down and enjoy what He created for us to enjoy while we are here on earth. His words and prompting keep me focused on Him.
Kristina — SO true! I’m fortunate to live in a very beautiful area, yet I zip around as if my schedule is so important I don’t have time…to appreciate all God has done and does daily all around me? I’m surrounded by fields in various stages of planting and harvest…such a metaphor for how God works in my life. Slow down. Enjoy. What a concept!
I find that when I get irritated at someone while driving, I try to speak blessings over them. Yes, it is very hard to do sometimes with a nice voice but I find that it helps me release the frustration I had towards them and give them over to the Lord.
I am confident this experience is a “God” thing for me. The day I experienced yesterday confirmed that 😉
Mandy — I think you hit on something really important, here: “release” and “give”.
So many women I talk with tell me that they just “clench my jaw” … “grit my teeth” … “hold it in” … “stuff it down” … None of that sounds like freedom to me!
Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had to deal with an upset friend and it was extremely difficult staying positive while she wanted drag me into her anger. Then I was left dealing with the aftermath of that anger even though it wasn’t directed at me. I did switch my bracelet and prayed a LOT for both of us! The driving thing…ouch! I am bad at this. I had a driver pull out in front of me this morning that I could tell was on their cell phone. The first thought through my head was, “God, please protect them and help them pay more attention!” The second thought was, “Wow, that felt pretty good!” 🙂
Mindy — Tough situation! Great reminder that even once a situation is “over,” there’s still an aftermath. I find that’s when I often get “blindsided” because I let my guard down!
LOVE your first thought and second thought! Stuff like that is BIG for me…change of heart like that has God’s fingerprints everywhere!
I used to think my spouse would complete me, but God opened my eyes to that lie. It’s amazing how much changing that thought changed my expectations of my husband and of God.
HUGE change! When I was stuck in that lie, my life was a never-ending cycle of expectations and disappointment. I was stunned when I recognized that I was, in fact, expecting my husband to be my savior!
My 16 yr old son and I are doing this challenge together. It is eye-opening for him to see just how negative we can be. I’m so blessed to see him trying to watch how he says things. It has been much more peaceful around the house too!
Good Morning!
I am soooo guilty of the “baditude” while driving, even my children repeat my sarcasm. I heard my daughter say the other day, ..” Lady! The gas is the pedal on the right!!!” WOW! Was I shocked !LOL
So, I am going to pray for the driver(s) that I am tempted to ridicule. I am sure there are a few that have said something about me.
Happy Driving! :o)
Thea — LOL about your daughter! I have always called my son “Jiminy Cricket” because he’s been my conscience for so long…either by repeating OR giving deafening silence when I say something less than gracious.
Praying for your enemies…er…drivers you want to ridicule does sound like an idea I read about in some book … 😉
I have realized over the last 3 days how negative I talk. By taking notice and watching what I say I’m seeing how negative and critical my girls are talking to each other. Instead of critizing myself for not realizing how much my negative spirit was influencing my girls, I’ve prayed that God will help me be better a role model for them. I’m excited to see the change in me after 30 days but now also see the change my girls are going to make with a happier mommy.
I love reading the comments, LOL! 🙂 Great devo, great women, great cause! 😉
You know, the one thing I see the most of, in myself, is this nagging predisposition to climb up on God’s throne and try to do HIS job. Eeekk… Bad, I know! But really thats what all my baditudes boil down to: I think I can do better. Which, sadly enough, brings me right back to the beginning in the garden. Pathetic. So when the writer of Ecclesiastes states “all is vanity… there is nothing new under the sun…” I agree! The solution? “Be IN the world, NOT *of* it”!
Tough times ahead precious ladies… But we are being refined for a reason (multiple reasons for me!) Love to you all… Keep on keepin’ on! 🙂
~ Jacque Thompson <3
Jacque —
LOVE your honesty! Your comment reminded me of a talk I gave last year, the title of which was simply ‘ … as in an apostrophe … and the point was WE ARE NOT GODS; WE ARE GOD’S. (I adapted it for Day 16.)
I’m not a visual person, but I can “see” such a contrast between what we have the privilege of doing — climbing up in our Daddy’s lap — and what we try to do — take the throne.
I have been very bad driving, some days better than others, but I have managed these tiny progresses,
When I am delayed due to the slowness of others, I take it a reminder from God to slow down, and not rush through life. When my lane is blocked and I cannot move over in time to turn where I had intended, I take it as a reminder from God to not get so stuck in my plan and to be open to changes that God may send my way ( I’ve found amazing things down those new side roads btw) when a parking place is snatched from in front of me, yes even in the rain, I take it as a message from God to walk more ( or shower better haha) and enjoy all the seasons of my life… Some days I still have to bite my tounge but I try …. Progress is what it is one day at a time
TTP:
ROFL re: shower better!!!
LOVE all your practical applications in these frustrating daily situations! In my life, these are the “little” battles that I’m learning teach me the skills I need for the “big ones”!
I love the words to this song!! May Jesus help me to surrender all to Him. Praise Jesus we can leave the past behind us!!
Just As I Am :
Dear Lord, I’m on my knees again.
I come to You because You understand.
I’ve tried so hard, but I just can’t change myself
That’s why I know I need Your help.
Chorus
So here I am
This in my plea
My only hope is Your love for me.
I’m reaching out
So desperately
Come take my hand; take all of me.
Just as I am.
Oh Lord, You make what’s broken new.
Why can’t I just learn to follow You?
I want to know You and feel You in my soul.
I surrender all control.
Chorus
I am not afraid to follow You where You lead me.
I can leave the past behind me.
I’m forgiven and I’m free.
Thank you so much for posting this song! I love the words!
Beautiful!!!
Yesterday, I thought I had it all together. “Don’t be hard on yourself.” And what do I do, I was so hard on myself for not measuring up to something. I didn’t realize that I do this automatically and then I reread my notes. BAM! God hit me. I need to stop being hard on myself. I love today’s topic- God is the only one who completes me. Freeing! PS. When are winners picked?
Heya Shonda! Love that you had a realization of something you do automatically!
I need to start picking winners the day after…just did Days 6-11 a couple of days ago and will do 12-15 today.
I am working hard on not having a bad attended today. With lack of sleep makes it more difficult. I just need to put Gods is in control.
Davona — You bring up a great point. When our physical bodies are depleted, our minds and emotions suffer!
I told my best friend that I am like a drug addict going through rehab right now! Now it is on to the realization that I am critical about EVERYTHING! But the Lord has renewed my heart and although the feelings are there I feel invigorated to keep doing this.
As for the driving thing…..I found the coolest thing at a women’s conference. They are these little cards that you put on the dashboard of your car. They are all written backwards so when they reflect in the windshield you can read the word right there on your windshield. So every time I start to get that frustration I speak out those words and turn my baditude into God’s Word!!!
MCof4: Bless your heart! I was/am the same way! Recognizing that “the cute little problem” is actually a “big ugly issue” = no fun!
I LOVE the cards you described!!! I have SO got to find them!
I am so guilty of being a complainer while driving, and while in line at the grocery store, and while in carpool… I am finding that I also tend to complain more to 2 friends than to anyone else. Why is this?
I’m thankful that God’s grace gives me second (and third and fourth) chances. When I step back and remember to share those 2nd and 3rd chances with others, I forget to complain! 🙂
Salinda — Beautiful realization — what God gives us we can give others…and there goes the need for or even focus on complaining!
Interesting that you noticed two specific friends. I’ve found this, too, and I’m trying to become aware of what/who triggers my complaining. Is it someone who shares my PURSE-onality traits and, thus, understands me? Is it someone who is my opposite PURSE-onality and, thus, is drawn to me as a potential complement?
I keep Christian music in while driving. It helps keep my attitude in check…didn’t work too well Tuesday PM. Immediately asked forgiveness. So thankful I am His chosen and have His grace. Thanks SO much for this month of study to adjust my attitude with His help.
Heidi J
Heidi —
My students ask me if I “refuse” to listen to secular music and “restrict” myself to Christian music. I tell them that I have such trouble with my attitude, I eagerly listen to music that helps me surrender my heart to God. No guarantee, but it’s another tool!
I am enjoying this challenge and realize my sarcasm is a coping issue. I don’t believe I use it for “bullying” people. I do use it as a less embarassing means to accept my downfalls. Thank you again.
Nikki– I’m the same way. Most of my sarcasm is self-deprecation, which is my favorite form of humor. Laugh at self, and nobody gets hurt! I look bad, but we all got a good laugh, hey — it’s all good! 🙂
I have noticed one problem with my self-sarcasm this school year. A few of my seniors have been really verbally harsh with me, just on the verge of out-of-bounds, and I’ve been baffled as to why. Then it occurred to me: I’m modeling it for them! They think that because *I* put down on myself I’m giving them carte blanche to do the same!
I believe it’s a maturity/social development issue…all my other students are VERY clear that this is my “schtick” and they are NOT being invited to join in. So next year, I’ll simply include “A Brief Introduction to Mrs. G Humor” at the start of the year.
Boy this is a hard one. My children also repeat thing I say while driving. We will have to start praying together for the drivers that will help change me and my girls
Hard, absolutely. But you will be speaking volumes when you demonstrate the humility of prayer for your girls, especially as they see the outer changes that accompany heart changes!
When my children and I see a funeral procession we pray for the grieving families or if we see any emergency vehicles we pray for them and any one and all that are involved (helping victims of an accident could be dangerous). I now see that I need to pray for all drivers and their safety. If they are not using their turn signals that could be dangerous to them and others. Maybe it is a mother distracted by a crying infant (had happened to me), maybe they got a call that their child/spouse is hurt and they are speeding to get there (has happened to me). I don’t know why they are driving the way they are – could be ligit and maybe not – either way, they need my prayers and not my criticism. God know their needs – even if I don’t.
Jena — Yes, yes, yes! You’re illustrating EMPATHY so beautifully with each of these examples. And giving the benefit of the doubt — “has happened to me.” Connecting on a personal level rather than treating them as a vehicle. Love the idea of praying for emergency vehicles and all involved!
I’m going to smile , and be gracious to all who need to change lanes. In California we all tend to change lanes much to frequently and often times we do so at the expense of cutting someone else off. So I commit to waving others in when I see their blinker and double checking that no one gets cut off when I change lanes.
Jenna —
I’m a California driver, too…so many freeway intersections (that must have “looked good on paper”!) are designed so that all drivers have to be careful and gracious. Your commitment to “waving others in” is a commitment to see the bigger picture: I’m not the only car on the road. My agenda isn’t the only or most important one. I need to be my brothers’ and sisters’ keepers as I hurtle along at high speeds in a lethal weapon. “Waving others in” will help me treat them as valuable people, not objects. (And I almost typed “waving other sin”…tee-hee!)