Hope for Over-Attempters
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Yesterday I saw a Facebook quote that bugged me. The more I tried to shake it off, the more it grated on my last nerve. The gist was this:
“Performancism is proof of pride.”
Now trust me: I’m not here to defend Performancism or pride. I’ve spent far too much of my life strutting around in filthy rags.
But I do want to suggest that for some of us, Performancism may signal something other than pride. Specifically those of us who grew up hearing this message — spoken or unspoken — perhaps from parents or teachers, siblings or peers:
“You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”
For us, Performancism is proof of pain.
- It’s our way to make up for all the trouble we’ve caused.
- It’s our currency to buy the love that’s been withheld because we’re so costly.
Performancism assures us that if we just try hard enough, we can become worth more than the bother we’ve been. So we eagerly attempt anything (and everything!) that will finally seal the deal.
- We cram our schedules full of worth-y events.
- We aim to keep worth-while people happy.
We become over-attempters, unaware that we are attempting the impossible.
There’s no way on earth to earn your worth.
Here’s the good news:
You can stop trying.
Yes, you can!
In fact, you’ve got God’s permission. His message is the opposite of “You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”
Jesus’ message to you is what you’ve been over-attempting in hopes of hearing:
You are worth everything to Me!
That trouble you’ve been trying to make up for?
I paid the cost.
That love you’ve been trying to buy?
My love is free.
You can stop over-attempting to earn your worth.
Yes, you can.
And the next time some liar tries to tell you, “You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” hear the Holy Spirit whisper:
I paid everything for you to know you’re worth everything to me.
Beautiful truth, my friend!
Well, ouch. If that didn’t hit the nail on the head. I have beat myself up for years thinking I was being prideful in my desire to please and make things perfect. It became just one more way to, well, beat myself up. You are such a smart person, Cheri. And I’ve said it before, but we are so much alike! For so many years I was a quiet girl who tried to fly under the radar and “be good” because I thought I was simply a bother. I didn’t want to cause trouble. Truth is, I’m still that way much of the time. I’m afraid — as you say — of being “more trouble than I’m worth.” But that is a lie and I’m so thankful to you for pointing it out!! Love you, girl!